FORTUNA

I submit: character takes off their glasses when shit gets real, patiently cleans them, puts them back on with a weary sigh, goes completely feral

Brains.

#gotta have crisp 20/20 for this assbeating i’m about to give you

@alterbenjamin

I hope y’all understand the racism apparent here and how black women are being expected to conform to the standards of white womanhood in order to be actually classified as women

Computer show me the "big one"

a dot matrix printer slowly but surely starts producing a crude representation of a largemouth bass

My mom who worked in HR and people management for years approves.

dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer

Yes, yes, the dentist.  We’ve all been there.

What is gonna happen if skinny jeans go out of style? Go back to boot cut jeans and act like we didn’t think they were disgusting for 6+ years?

November 2nd, 2014 

doomed by the narrative and haunted by the narrative and a secret third thing (narrating the narrative)

Beach episode at the monastery... everyones putting sunscreen on eachothers tonsures

absolutely fucking reeling from puss in boots the last wish. my grown ass friends made me see it and it absolutely fucked. it was mad max fury road for kids. it was a horror movie about the fear of death. it was a western about an ageing outlaw trying to regain his youth with the help of his ex fiance and homeless harvey guillen. it was about found family. it was about needing people and asking for help. it had the best depiction of a panic attack i've ever seen in a mainstream film. the villain looked exactly like boris johnson. there was a wicker man reference. it had a kill count higher than most slasher films. it set up shrek 5. they even said fuck.

hmmm. customer was asking me if id been to any protests lately. gave the general “how could i when im always at work” response. he keeps going asking about where protests are being held/how he’s having trouble locating them and “it’s been hundreds of years coming so im not suprised”. he buys a lotto ticket and opens his wallet, which surprise surprise also contained a police badge..

Seriously. Be suspicious of everyone you talk to. especially if you don’t know them. even if you used to talk to them but fell off for a few years. don’t give out any information that could put others at risk

they all hate me for my pathetically small bong

thats not a bong thats a bing

i’m like the joker in the sense that i tell jokes sometimes

i’m like the riddler in the sense that i tell riddles sometimes

i don’t have much in common with the penguin

I love the universal concept of Big Worm In The Desert; if youare making ANYTHING set in a fictional desert it is seemingly IMPERATIVE you put a worm of considerable size in there. Be it friend or foe, simply large or absolutely ginormous, all that's important is it is a Big Worm or Wormlike-Being In The Desert

Frank Herbert did to giant desert worms what Tolkien did to giant fantasy spiders.