Strong in the Real Way

and if you DON'T want to study me like a bug, what the fuck why not????? you SHOULD! what you think you're better than me or something??

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it with the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

World Heritage Post

13 years ago I tried to choke my alarm clock to death and then shook it until the battery fell out, which is the caveman solution to that problem

"there are no jobs" wooga literally wants you to woog. for money.

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

How dare?! He worked hard for that shiny! Rude! What about his cuteness discount?

Just found a $50 bill in the street let’s hear it for girls posting their Ws online

50 foreskin dollars

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again