Tumblr I need everyone to log in rn because the most important, quotable, instantly iconic celebrity post of the century just dropped
A ship — a magnificent ship — full of gay men. And me.
I am furious, but I am sailing.

#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything

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shark vs the universe

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Misplaced Lens Cap
🪼
wallacepolsom
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
ojovivo
todays bird
dirt enthusiast
d e v o n

tannertan36

Origami Around
Keni
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
Jules of Nature

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@pulchrabelle
Tumblr I need everyone to log in rn because the most important, quotable, instantly iconic celebrity post of the century just dropped
A ship — a magnificent ship — full of gay men. And me.
I am furious, but I am sailing.

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I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.
Jill. Jill you are wonderful.
no joke, this is such an important aspect of overcoming trauma. I mean the trauma of abusive parents, the trauma of broke ass parents who got toxic because of it, the trauma of capitalism. Like fuck it. Go to Wrestlemania. Build a shit ton of terrariums.
The amount of disbelief I’m willing to suspend is directly proportional to how entertaining the show is. If a show is barely able to hold my attention and has betrayed my trust before, fuck you, that’s not how cutting someone’s head off works.
If I’m glued to my seat every week and can’t stop watching, then yes, absolutely, the professional athlete in a blond wig is indistinguishable from the 17 year old lead actress.
please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.
I got curious, so without looking up the reddit thread because I hate reddit, I went to the list of Barbie's careers. Because of course people have dated lists of those.
Her first 28 years are fairly tame, until we reach 1987's Canadian Mountie Barbie. Reasonable odds for a cop, even if they're not a USAmerican cop.
in 1991, we get US Air Force Pilot Barbie, US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, US Navy Petty Officer Barbie. There's also 1992's US Army Barbie, if those guys were feeling left out. I'm also ignoring the 1989 US Army Barbie because that one is 100% a stolen valour runway look, not a uniform.
Going to run my autism over those four.
US Navy Petty Officer Barbie is wearing quartermaster's rating insignia, so no combat for her.
US Army Barbie is wearing an airborne maroon beret with no rank insignia that I could see, but she's loaded down with medical supplies, so I'm gonna say combat medic, but only as many kills as her other medical endeavours.
US Air Force Pilot Barbie is wearing a jacket that looks like a Top Gun tie-in. The unit patch is just the USAF coat of arms, and the name patch says she's a Captain. VERY confusingly, the plane on the box art is an F-5, which had just recently been retired. But its USAF usage was almost all in the OPFOR Aggressor squadrons, which is... "come play enemy planes for our training exercises".
US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie is wearing E-5 Sergeant's insignia, and three medals (she's in dress uniform). To my eye, and allowing for badly printed colours, looks like Navy and Marine Achievement Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, and the South West Asia Service Medal. The first two are fairly obvious "Barbie Is Well Behaved" stuff, but uh. That last one though?
USMC Barbie was in Desert Storm.
And if she was in a support role there, well, 1993 gave us USAmerican Cop Barbie. Case closed.

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i love how sinners was basically like “the cunnilingus was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the cunnilingus was there”
If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.
This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
tags by nothorses
they used to let kids have real fun
There's an xkcd for that :3
Side note: polonium-210 is a very dangerous isotope, however it "does not pose a radiation hazard when kept outside the body", as the alpha particle it emits have very little penetration power and cannot pierce even the outer layers of dead skin. It has still killed countless people, though, not because of children's rings, but because of tobacco. Polonium latches onto and concentrates in tobacco leaves, leading to heavy smokers being exposed to more radiation than survivors of the Chernobyl disaster.
It's always wild to me seeing comments about different toxins like this on information about random things in the past, but it's never discussed when it comes to cigarettes.
YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU CAN CRAFT A COMPLETE SENTENCE! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU USE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF COMMAS! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOUR PROSE IS GOOD AND RIGHT! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION!

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gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr
"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"
❌ False
The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.
"those are his hooves, bitch."
✅ True
Those are his hooves, bitch.
If you embroider or hand sew in your bed, you may think to yourself, "I'm just gonna set my needle down real quick next to me/on my chest/literally anywhere except inside the project or on a needle catcher and I'll get it in a minute, it'll be fine." But it won't be fine. You'll lose the needle and then you'll have a loose needle just in your bed. Haunting you. Waiting for you. Craving your flesh and blood.
Use your needle catcher.
You'll never guess what's loose in my bed right now.
I don't think it's impressive to have rare private books. I think it's gollumlike and sad
type of shit guys with no exquisite and exotic tomes are saying all the time btw
Today after about a week of confusion and asking people in real life if they've noticed anything, I discovered that there is, in fact, not a bizarre 2026 trend of "Mr Beast Pregnancy Memes" and it is all in fact just a series of tumblr posts from one Ukranian who I've never met named Petro and my two chaos incarnate tumblr mutuals who are so fascinated by the world he is conjuring that they have both been drip-feeding it onto my otherwise relatively normal tumblr dashboard.

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love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.
Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.