Fuck Yes! Duck Gently Passing Over Wave

energy of an 85 year old who got freaky friday’d tbh

The 4pm bird gets the weird and fucked up spider

hitting the gym with my cuttlefishgirl buddy and she keeps saying "hey can you spot me?" and then when i turn to look she's camouflaged herself against the equipment again. like okay it was funny the first time but come on.

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

spending enough time around a certain kind of person unlocks your ability to sense a shounen-esque 'punning intent.' and it feels exactly the same way when it gets set off

A pizza might save you. A burger might save you. We're not sure any more. We haven't known for a long time

hollow ball of lead filled with mercury

if the pitcher busts this one out he plans on a line drive straight through the rubedo. the magnum opus, they call it. catchers usually signal for it by tenting their fingers in a triangle over their eyes. obvious move but hard to counter as most batters are unwilling to catch the ball in their mouth & achieve spiritual perfection and release from mortal suffering in a single instant

Swing state gothic

chopping vegetables and laughing to myself as I imagine someone writing a fanfic about their new oc, the long-lost McElroy sister

she has deep purple eyes and long wavy black hair and they have to put her on the podcast and the title of the fic is my brother my brother my sister and me

I think Carmellia dies tragically by sacrificing herself to save her brothers in chapter 12. There are four chapters of everyone grieving her before Sydnee McElroy (in the only appearance of another woman in the fic) resurrects her with medical science. She is the eldest sibling but she was kept in cryogenic sleep for like 30 years so she didn’t age and is only 18.