999 Happy Haunts

*eminem voice* *falls into a hole in a sewer grate before saying anything*

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

What if everything gets better in 2016

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

My favorite thing about Armand is that, beyond being scary and intimidating in an ancient vampire way, he’s also weird and off putting in a way that feels both hilarious and endearing. He does things that no other vampire in existence would ever consider. Goes through a divorce and proceeds to join AA because of his love for steps and rituals? Brilliant! Deranged! Lovely! Dresses up as Louie’s employ so he can wait hand and foot on the man he’s been secretly in love with for 50 plus years? That’s innovative in its insanity! He’s mimicking human behavior in ways never before conceived of and doing a piss poor job at it! It’s awkward and charming, and ironically, the most human thing about him.

It's a pain in the ass, but it's my pain in the ass!

one time we were listening to fleetwood mac in the car and my sister who was probably 4 at the time asked, without being prompted, “can girls marry girls?” and THAT is the power of stevie nicks