ONE DAY I WILL RETURN TO YOUR SIDE

having to eat food and take showers is ruining my life

it is so crazy that we all liked overwatch

You don’t get it Hank. The government already owns Israeli spy tech that can remotely gain access to all your communications live without you having to press a phishing link or have your phone seized. But they don’t even need to go that far, that’s just if you’re already paranoid to keep most communications off the advertising-surveillance nexus we call the internet which has invaded all of life. You use signal? Classic subterfuge can enter where encryption blocks. Your face? Been catalogued millions of times in places you don’t know exist with photos you’ve never seen and Clearview and Palantir have identified you and your suspected predicted future crimes to the police within seconds of seeing your face in a Flock camera. COINTELPRO never officially ended, it merely adapted to the times. If you truly want to have a private conversation you have to go fully analog and become a guerrilla in the woods. But even that won’t be possible with soil erosion making even wild foods more difficult to grow. It’s time you wake up and understand they’ll call you a terrorist just for reading the wrong zines or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You may as well fake a new identity and learn basic military tactics, unless you want to lose the Water Wars Hank. You want to lose the Water Wars? You won’t have any water for your family Hank! I guess your family should just dehydrate during a wet bulb temperature heatwave because you won’t get a gun and scrub any reference to your real identity off the internet. At least I’ll be taking down a few nuclear warlords with me, I’ve been preparing for this all my life.

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark