1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.

2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.

GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark -- An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d -- That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.

FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.

GRIME A hospital, good sir.

SECOND FOOL (Does some figures)                                And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?

GRIME                                    Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.

CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.

GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.

FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.

SECOND JESTER                                                 Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.

FIRST FOOL I see, but -- wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?

GRIME                                             ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.

FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?

SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?

FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.

(There is general applause and agreement.)

GRIME                                    O fool, a what?

Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.

WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.

(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)

Exeunt.

Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.

LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?

FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.

SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.

(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)

Krafton CEO looks at the hype surrounding Subnautica 2, goes over the contract between Krafton and Unknown Worlds, realizes he'll have to pay out bonuses and freaks out because shelling out those bonuses will make him look like a pushover.

CEO goes to his legal department, asks them to come up with a plan to weasel out of paying bonuses. Legal tells him the contract is iron-clad and to accept the loss.

CEO refuses to take the loss, asks ChatGPT for a plan. ChatGPT says the exact same thing the legal department did.

CEO demands a plan from ChatGPT, which dutifully spits out a plan at this point because clearly the CEO is a goddamn idiot.

CEO deletes the chat logs, failing to understand that 'delete' doesn't permanently remove things.

CEO follows plan, and is surprised when Unknown Worlds sues for breach of contract despite being told by both humans and an LLM that is exactly what would happen.

Court does not go well for Krafton's legal department. It comes out that after ignoring the sound legal advice of human beings, the CEO went to ChatGPT and asked for a plan. When asked for the logs by the court, Krafton's legal team states they were deleted, thus that it's simply herersay. Judge goes "Oh, that's okay, we'll have our IT folks recover them." Krafton's legal team is astounded that's even possible.

The chat logs are recovered. It comes out that even ChatGPT was in agreement with Krafton's legal department, and only spat out a plan after being asked a second time.

The judge, now thoroughly done with the stupidity of Krafton's CEO at this point, rules in favor of Unknown Worlds. Her ruling doesn't simply undo the scheme, but effectively leaves all control over Subnautica 2's development in the hands of Unknown Worlds, including the early access release date, reducing Krafton to just publishing out of contractual obligation. Krafton must also return all social media platforms for Unknown Worlds and Subnautica 2 to Unknown Worlds' control. Financial damages will be determined at a later date.

Krafton proceeds to violate the court order in less than 72 hours by trying to set an early access release date before returning Unknown Worlds' social media platforms.

The Monday Period: Part 1 of 6

Part 1: you are here

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

ey you lil shits

lets just talk about this here cookie recipe

this shit

is 

the

BOMB

HOLY SHIT

I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WOW IT TASTES AMAZING

YES

WONDERFUL

Use one spoon white sugar, and one spoon brown if you have it.

After microwave, before noms, add vanilla ice cream.

the all-sacred mug cookie.

If you are unfamiliar with Tofu, please read this post or watch this playlist about the snake who hates Markiplier. tl;dr- under the Markiplier gif.

From the videos you can see she tries to figure out what is upsetting Tofu, and found that it's not just streamers, or just his voice, or the stream. This specific snake

He does not like Markiplier specifically which is demonstrated by him squaring up with Mark, striking, and tail buzzing at him. He recognizes Mark specifically as a scary threat.

Animals have been shown to recognize human faces, and Tofu's reaction to Markiplier's face (and only his face as shown by the printout) is strong evidence that he recognizes Mark's face and differentiates him from other faces. With crows, they've been shown to hold grudges and have that grudge extend to other crows.

So Tofu has a negative association with Mark, and specifically Mark. The question is why? My theory is: perceived threat after a perceived dangerous situation. Some have theorized Tofu was mistreated by someone who looked like Mark- if they were while in his keeper's care she'd know. If it was his breeder, he'd more likely be afraid of all humans and need to first get over this negative perception (basing this on how Sakura reacted with massive trauma that took years for her to overcome, and to this day she's still jumpy. A breeder doesn't socialize their snakes so they'd only know humans to be abusive before being adopted, and his current keeper would very much notice that terrified trauma behavior to herself.)

One thing important to know about snakes is they are not only capable of learning from each other, but are protective of each other. I've seen this with my girls interacting with each other (yes snakes have friends and remember their family), learning from watching the other and copying her actions, as well as behavior I've observed on the Rattlecam with wild snakes. Adult snakes teach younger snakes, as well as are protective of them- even if they aren't their own babies. A female was shown on the rattlecam watching over a group of slitherlings that were obviously not her offspring as she was heavily pregnant. IIRC that same female ushered babies to safety after a hawk attack before worrying about her own safety. I've seen it in person as well with my girls, who have shielded each other from perceived danger, and scoria also squared up to something scary in the hall as though she were protecting me. And when it left she immediately went back to being relaxed and cuddly and happy. Snakes have friends that are snakes. It's an outdated belief snakes cannot bond with their keepers, as many do and seek them out for attention. These observations of snake behavior are part of what play into my theory basis.

So what could Mark himself have done? If you watch streamers you'll know Markiplier is known for playing jumpscare games with his FNAF let's plays being some of his most well known. Tofu's owner knows Markiplier, and is actively watching Markiplier with Tofu. More than likely she regularly watches Mark, has watched jumpscare videos, and had Tofu around while doing this.

It's a reasonable assumption. And if Tofu's keeper reacts to Mark's jump scare videos by flinching, looking frightened, or making frightened sounds, it's quite likely Tofu's sees Markiplier is involved every time... and blames Mark. Seeing his keeper get startled, Tofu doesn't understand it's a fun video or that humans enjoy being jumpscared (honestly I don't think I could explain it to him either) so he's learning from his human that Markiplier is a scary threat.

And from Tofu's point of view? He's right! Markiplier is a regular threat that not only (probably) scared his human, but regularly appears to stare him down and even went after him in his own home! And when his keeper scolds him? It's likely the same misunderstanding that dogs have when their owners yell at them to be quiet- they think the human has joined in! Clearly his keeper is joining him in being upset at Mark!

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

have a gator gal yes