care for some soup?

if you ever feel like killing yourself simply remember the majestic pelican

ive never seen something that “could mean nothing”

the beloved Arabic invention the number Zero baby…

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy you made this?

Oh you have no idea.

this made me laugh so hard i started choking and gasping for air 

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

the Terracotta Army guy?

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

[ID: “One man’s [“Yeah, the Time Knife, we’ve all seen it” meme] is another man’s [“Was anyone going to tell me?” meme] /End ID]

internet heiroglyphics

every girl wants to get in a vehicle and flip 3-6 switches overhead in the process of turning it on

More things should be operated with big thumb switches and knobs and dials and shit.