Favorite trope from real life experiences
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Favorite trope from real life experiences

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boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory
anonyyelch
chef verdient eine zitrone ich verdiene eine limette. wir arbeiten in der zitrusfabrik
movie called technically blonde where she goes to trade school instead
No but you don't understand. Rocking up to Welding class with 100% barbie pink tools is such a POWER MOVE.
"Jeremy, I'd really like my orbital sander back ^_^"
"... didn't know it was yours..."
(Legit excited, no sarcasm) "Someone ELSE has the original Box 20-Volt Brushless Cordless Detail Sander with Dust Management?!?!?!?!"
"...no..."
Teacher walking up like "Miss Woods, is that a nail file"
(Elle, blasting compressed air to get rid of the nail file sand)
"Actually, its an emery board. But yes! :D It's a finer grit than what we have, and I've always found these easier to handle"
"...Ok, fair enough."
Elle making friends with the 6 year old daughter of one of her classmates. (Child care ain't cheap, I get it. Bring your kid to class)
Elle learning how to drive a forklift/motorcycle/semi-truck
Elle giving an impromptu lecture in the break room about what gifts to give their wives/girlfriends/mothers
Fucking laser cut "bless this mess" sign on her locker (I lied. It would totally be live, laugh, laser)
Elle's car breaks down and 20+ dudes coming out to show her how to fix it. (And realizing her mechanic is ripping her off)
Every single guy in the building filled with instant despair when she gets with one of the butch lesbians in the program.
Gimme plzzz
Proposal: She takes her car to a mechanic and it's beat for beat like the original movie scene at the dress shop, where the mechanic *tries* to rip her off and she nods along and then eviscerates her with precise technical details.
The rest of Elle's class now shun that mechanics' shop and tell everyone else to as well, so that place ends up going out of businesss, which allows someone else in the class to open up a sparkling pink and perfectly trustworthy shop of his own.
[ID: comment from biomark saying "Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny." End ID.]
being a Bandit is pretty great. Just got a new place with a couple friends, in Doghammer Cave (long history of hammering dogs there). It's pretty nice for the area! Zero bedrooms zero bathrooms, but it's got a falling spikeball trap in the entrance and a couple big linear multipurpose rooms full of barrels. I put a couple gold coins in each barrel. Really makes it feel like home.
Our leader is Klade Doghammer (long history of hammering dogs). He's the only one of us with a name. He likes to sit in the last room (our house has a last room because it's linear) at a desk with a half-finished page of notebook about how he'll get revenge on the town someday. My best friend Female Archer Bandit said the people in the town don't even consider us human. She says if you stay a bandit long enough they kill you for money. Sometimes when she and I are alone on watch late at night I get a funny feeling in my bandit parts. I think I just heard the falling spikeball trap go off. We didn't invite anyone over today but I hope it's someone friendly. Being a bandit is pretty great.
RB IF YOU AGREE

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scientific fact
me putting the little tag back on the bread bag
Collection
Gotta have a griller in your collection

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At this point in think that D&D has more ardent support than lutheranism. And it's adherents are somehow even more annoying.
this is officially my worst post... god... i've lost everyuthing... fuck... fuck....!
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST WAY TO FUMBLE SOMEONE
Wishing all amab nb people who don't perform the femininity or androgyny that people expect from non-cis amab people a very nice Friday.
I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event
No I trust the Americans, the cheese lovers, and the fans of the molasses flood to find this one on their own.
fun chess fact: the chess pieces are secretly fucking when you're not looking
I can often figure out the main points of a piece of media from what mutuals reblog, right? The vampires are all each other's messy exes and none of them are reliable narrators. The hockey boys have hot closeted sex until coming out over pasta dinner. Etc. It's harder with video games, but even without gifs you can usually piece some things together from posts.
For the life of me, I absolutely cannot figure out what the fuck happens in Disco Elysium.

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Being able to talk about wands and wizard schools without having to plant a flag against shitty authors is a dead wife to me that I see in montages when I try to make casual jokes about owls throwing up owl pellets while delivering wizard mail.
Everybody knows that wizardry is about magic and kindness. It's about community and arcane rituals.
And killing transphobes
Yes. But I long for a world where I can joke about riding broom is like riding dick without even having to think about her.
The day will come. In the meantime, ride that broom, cowgirl.
God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia