care for some soup?

Green + yellow + orange is a highly underrated colour combo

one time i was at a week long youth conference for church stuff (who else exmormon and did efy?) and there was a few hundred of us or something so we were all split into these groups and the groups were obviously gendered bc it would be inappropriate for a fourteen year old boy to be encouraged to talk to a fourteen year old girl DUH. anyways our group of like fifteen or twenty girls or whatever. we were ordering pizza for the last day of the conference and every group had to tally up how hungry we were so they knew how much to order. and this was the last day of a week of twelve hour days and we were tired we had been taking class outside and it was hot as hell and etc. anyways we sat in a circle and our group leader who was the only adult woman there had us all take turns saying out loud to the circle how much pizza we thought we would eat so they could get a headcount for ordering. which. holy fuck what an awful way to do that? you put a huge group of young girls in a circle and had us all announce out loud how much we eat? anyways every SINGLE girl said "Oh Im Not Hungry I Just Want One Slice." until it got to me and i was like 3/4 the way around the circle and i said "To Be Honest i could have an entire medium hawaiian to myself right now but ill probably restrain myself to five pieces or something." and everypony started laughing because yes i was also the fattest girl in our group. but i was also kindof really brave as a 14 yo and i just kept going i genuinely said "I think you guys are being stupid because youre definitely hungry you just wont say it." and the leader was like "okay be real though how many slices?" and i said "im being serious Sister im so hungry and we have another four hours here including a soccer game. i want five or six slices of pizza." anyways after i did that big demonstration some of the girls following me said Two slices and one said Three. sometimes being the friendless heavy Bad girl is vital to the ecosystem and health of those around you. and btw they did get me a large hawaiian and let me take home what i didnt finish.

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

Splatoon but its werewolves

They uhhhhhhhh spray cum idk. Whatever.

I can make the same joke 100 times and you will all enjoy it.

One of these days yall will see me and haiku-bot fuckin tbh

i cant stop saying "im gonna smile" lately its really funny to me. cause saying it that way makes it sound like a threat or something. like fuck if you dont watch out im seriously gonna Smile . im seriously gonna fucking Grin myself

GET DOWN, IT'S GOT A GRIN!

STAY STILL OR ILL FUCKING GIGGLE

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

he is turning the tiles brown. he needs to be contained

SCP 

fools. this was a white goat, you can see the white markings on him. he’s been soaking up the brown and he’s only got one square left. let him finish his work

HE’S STEALING THE BROWN

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

A belly can be a "slut waist" too. If you're not a fearful little freak

(said with a curious soul) I wonder what it’s like… to have absolutely no ass at all…..? (wind tousles my hair) omg stopppp haha (wind tousles it again) I said stop

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.