@5bi5 - Tumblr Blog

This is the plotline of every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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panteneprovcommercial

the first season of a show is kinda like a dead wife

#yellowjackets

withnoteeth

albums can be your girlfriend. If you are full of love and pure of heart.

ivy-saurs

randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing

tomb-mold

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

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gardenofdelete998

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

valtsv

me: BRING OUT THE DEATH RAY!!!

*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*

valtsv

captive hero: aww!

me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man's heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!

stingray: *nudges my hand*

me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i'm trying to be intimidating here.

valtsv

you will

maykitz

>see bird creeping up and down a tree trunk >look it up >common treecreeper

can't make this shit up

mamoru

sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling

turtlesandfrogs

Seconded.

duckbunny

when discussing the comparative merits of crafts and why or why not they were used at various times in history, it is VITAL to remember that we didn't put wheels on suitcases until the 1970s. Sometimes a technique would be great, but you just haven't thought of it. If you haven't invented knitting it doesn't matter how knitting compares to weaving. You cannot choose a method you do not know. Tools and techniques have to be thought of before they can be used. I am saying this several ways in the hopes of being understood. Everything has to be invented. If it hasn't been invented, it won't be on your list of options for things to use.

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thethirdromana

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

baddywronglegs

We're gonna have a hard time convincing future generations the phrase "Trumped-up charges" is etymologically unrelated.

pankendev

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

decompose1

sorry i don't write men. yeah idk i just can't get into their headspace.... i don't know how to act like a man lol. idk how men feel. do they even have the same feelings as us? that's crazyyyy lol. still tho idk how id do it im not educated enough to write them sorry. you wouldn't want me to write a man badly would you.... im afraid of messing up and those angry men online to shout at me they're so aggressive

mewvore

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

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sophiethatchersource

“I think everything is inherently political, whether you like it or not,” she tells me. “It’s easy to get into a bubble when you’re an actor and living this world, and I never want to fall into that trap. I try to stay in tune and use my platform, because, you know, my career doesn’t matter. Now that I actually have a following, I’d rather spread information [about] what’s going on in the world than be silent. I think it’s lazy not to.”

SOPHIE THATCHER i-D Magazine | 2026 ph. by Chad Moore

sufjansjoy

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

sufjansjoy

wow

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