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fictionadventurer

One of my biggest literary pet peeves is when historical or history-inspired fiction pretends that "courting" is a synonym for "dating". Usually it's just a one-to-one word swap--in a modern context, these characters would be dating, but this is olden times, so they call it courting instead. Sometimes they'll pretend there's a shade of difference, and that courting is a more serious exploration of marriage or something. But I read a lot of fiction that was actually written during these historical eras, and the word "courting" is never used like that.

Two people do not decide that they are "courting". One person decides to "court" someone else. It's an action, not a stage in the relationship. A man decides to court a woman because he wants to encourage her to have romantic interest in him. He's trying to win her favor. It's not an exclusive relationship--a woman could be courted by multiple men at once. She'll spend time getting to know the guy who's interested in her, but they won't officially define their relationship as one where they only show romantic interest in each other. If they reach a point where they want it to be exclusive, that's when you propose.

There's no middle ground--either you're getting to know each other, or you're committed to marrying each other. This idea of a period where you kind of commit to each other until you decide you definitely want to get married is a modern one, and it occurs in eras where they use the word "dating" to describe it. The closest equivalent I can think of are times and places where they'd talk about a couple "stepping out together", but they're still not calling it "courting". Words have meaning, and the word "courting" has never meant that, so stop using it that way!

starfieldcanvas

the other mild historical disjoint i run into is when people talk about dating in the fifties like it automatically meant exclusivity. the whole reason we have the expression "going steady" is because the default was to or "go around with" or "go out with" multiple people. not in the sense of being in a stable polyamorous vee, but in the sense that archie is actively "seeing" both betty and veronica during the entire time the two girls are competing for his attention and they're both seeing other guys to make him jealous, and nobody involved considers this "cheating."

bizarrely, America has in many ways gotten more conservative about dating since World War II.

penrosesun

I ran into a truly wild cultural misunderstanding with my father some years ago, when I had to explain to him what “hookup culture” actually was, and that the thing he assumed it was was actually what we call “cruising culture”. His response was “how is that different from dating?” and when I explained how it was different, he said, and please note that this a direct quote: “That’s ridiculous! You can’t expect a woman to stop fooling around with other guys for anything less than a marriage proposal. I mean, she’s not a prostitute, you can’t buy her.” Now obviously there’s like… a lot to unpack there, but I think it’s pretty darn illustrative of a substantive cultural shift around the assumption of monogamy!

Also, following this, I asked my mom what her thoughts were on the matter, and she said that while she “wouldn’t put it in those terms” she broadly agreed, and thought that anyone expecting any sort of exclusivity when a marriage proposal wasn’t at least on the very immanent horizon was “nuts, honestly.” I hesitantly asked if she was including relationships with premarital sexual activity in that, and her response was “Of course. I mean, gosh, you know your Aunt Terri used to have a guy for every day of the week before she finally settled down.”

And this was when I learned, to my shock, that the oft-repeated story of how “Aunt Terri used to have a guy for every day of the week” didn’t just mean “Aunt Terri had a full dance card” but rather meant that Aunt Terri had a period of her life where she literally dated exactly seven guys at once, all of whom she was sleeping with (or, my mom was quick to disclaim, “well, fooling around with, I don’t know how far she actually went with any of them, but they were definitely all fooling around behind closed doors”), on a literal weekly rotation. Like, they had a schedule. A schedule that all seven of the guys knew.

America has gotten a lot more conservative about dating, actually.

razielim

Wait, I thought hookup culture WAS cruising. It's not?? Well... okay, I guess 🤷🏼

Wait! Wikipedia DOES mention cruising/bathhouses as an example of gay hookup culture, citing this source. Like the way these terms are discussed, it sounds like straight people participate in hookup culture less anonymously bc they're the overwhelming majority of the population and can just go to any nearby party/event/venue to flirt and hookup with someone they vibe with and who likely lives in the same area and could be a recurring encounter, whereas gay men eliminate the "flirt" and "vibe with" part to make things easier when showing up to a place that may not be conveniently located and where the only commonality is wanting to have sex with other men.

Cruising might be a specific kind of hookup culture, defined by expectation of anonymity, but are they really entirely separate?

penrosesun

I answered this here. They are not the same at all. While cruising is very predominantly gay and hookup culture is somewhat predominantly straight (although, less so) there are straight cruisers and there are a lot of gay people who partake in hookup culture.

If you think the two are the same, you’re badly confused about what at least one of them is. College teens who are involved in hookup culture are absolutely not generally having semi-anonymous sex in pay-by-the-hour hotel rooms. And cruisers are not generally making casual chit chat over text about non-sex for weeks between hookups.

fagstaynight

heartwarming: transfem named mary sue and transmasc named gary stu have had a beautiful nonbinary baby named donut steel

mihri-the-sasscatte

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

professorsparklepants

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

kittyopteryx

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

mooretimetoplay

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

necrowemancer

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/ This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

jelloapocalypse

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

creepsandcrawlers

FUCK ME the reveal video

threefeline

“CHRIS??????”

tanoraqui

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

8bitmickey

island-delver-go

Always reblog Y'gathok

robot-roadtrip-rants

always ALWAYS reblog Y'gathok!

sentient-tent

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

sentient-tent

reblog to feed her notes

elodieunderglass

How is she doing this

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forfawkssake

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

jonmoxleys

sometimes it just ends up being something like

onlyhereforthedrama

ITS BACK

dontleavemydreams-deactivated20

lord

uhmgilinsky

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

forfawkssake

Please stop reblogging this post

myterribletwenties

This post made my water break

myterribletwenties

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

forfawkssake

WHAT

hotchstuff

God, I love this accursed website.

myterribletwenties

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

twomanyfandomshelp

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

insufferable-yapper

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

myterriblethirties

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

brokenteardrops

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

myterriblethirties

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

movementnudge

Movement nudge, for hands and wrists!

livlina-angel

posting this with every artist tag i can think of, even if you dont do crochet, PLEASE TAKE RESTS FOR YOUR HANDS!!! no matter what medium artist you are, take care of your articulations

thatdisasterauthor

Sometimes I remember weird things from my childhood that seemed totally normal at the time but now I’m like “wait, no, that was not even a little normal.”

In other news, my family once dressed me up as a dead Victorian child to scare hotel guests.

ilistentogirlinred

reblog to teleport your mutuals to a massive party when jkr dies

ilistentogirlinred

when jkr dies i will tag every single person who reblogged this in a post btw

breezingwing

#I too rolled a failure

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

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evilwizard

I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU

cowboybarbaryn

Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs

evilwizard

IN A SCARY WAY

queenofskys5

Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!

evilwizard

I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION

fluff-e-boy

One of the most important images of all time

the-zenith-calls

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

knives-in-the-dishwater

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

taavicleric

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

cikero

did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

cikero

bonyassfish

No place for a little seal

meangirlnurse

philcollinsenjoyer

about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world

mycatismyfriend

@skulandcrossbones this might be the greatest tag on a reblog I’ve ever seen.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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raraeavesmoriendi

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

spinninggear

new uchikoshi tweet just dropped

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