If Tachibana Hibiki Was An Aroace Guy @cowboybarbaryn - Tumblr Blog

I am once again creating a new pinned post. My name is Barb, I’m autistic and aroace. I like many things and my hyperfixations rotate rapidly. Mostly just reblog shit that I find funny or like. he/they

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pangur-and-grim

"Claws like sharpened bananas shot toward me."

this sentence is

good

bad

Voting ended onJun 20

pangur-and-grim

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

pangur-and-grim

YOU DO IT ON ONE OF THESE! OBVIOUSLY!!!

pangur-and-grim

a lot of people are very angry with me over this, but I'd just like you to sit down and imagine a banana. maybe a green one so it's extra firm. if you need it to be harder, you can toss it in the freezer.

and that brown end? the hard bit? pencil sharpener. or sharpened with a blade. are you following me? now, attach six of those to a harpy.

yeah. I think you're seeing the vision. you can apologize to me any time you're ready

pangur-and-grim

check in time:

I see the vision

it's still really bad

Remaining time: 17 hours 37 minutes

pangur-and-grim

GOD DAMN IT!

mosslingg

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

cbk1000

So, I lurk in some writer subreddits, and a frequent topic of discussion is prose: what constitutes good prose, how do you write it, how do you improve it, etc. And yesterday I stumbled across one topic about the difference between good descriptive prose, and purple prose. OP asks people to share some of their favourite authors who they think write beautiful prose without tipping into purple. No problem; people are happy to oblige.

One person says that Steinbeck is one of their favourite authors for prose, and then they share an example of what they would consider purple prose. It is so violetly awful that I think the poster must have written it themselves as a kind of parody of purple prose. Other people assumed the same.

But as it turns out, they are quoting from a book written by a YouTuber whose channel ia dedicated to talking about writing (namely, their own writing, which is genius, but often not comprehensible to the drooling plebs).

Naturally, I read the free sample of their book in awe and horror, and I'd like to share some screenshots with you. If you also have trouble defining or understanding what purple prose is, it's this.

Yes, every single fucking page is written like this.

cbk1000

Reading some more of the preview for this book, and I realise this is by far not the biggest problem, but I'm begging this guy to just use 'shadow' instead of 'umbra'. I promise I will not accuse you of being a philistine.

cbk1000

'Noctilucent orbs'. Even fanfic written by a 14-year-old wouldn't dare.

The author is a man in his 30s, btw.

the-pen-pot

*throws this in the face of everyone who has ever accused me of writing purple prose*

cbk1000

I know this reads like it has to be a parody, but the author is a literary fiction content creator (in his words) with tons and tons of videos talking about the craft of writing and plugging his book. He does chapter readings as well. If it's parody, it's the most committed to the bit I've ever seen someone be.

cowboybarbaryn

My eyes glazed over after the first parargraph of the first bit of prose. This is nothing

zagreus

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disgruntled-neighborhood-wife

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

squareallworthy

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

storm-of-feathers

What

shadow-banned-the-hedgehog

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

ovenroastedtwerkey

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

yoinky-sploinky

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

ovenroastedtwerkey

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

kenzily8

you know the generations cooked when we’re talking abt sheep wool and that turns into stockpiling sheep piss 🥀

cosmipepper

you haven't truly lived until this post is the first thing you see when you wake up i had to leave and come back 10 minutes later

awesomebutunpractical

You can have any animal for a pet. Any complications such as “keeping the animal healthy and happy” and “the time and effort it would take to keep happy and healthy pet” and “keeping yourself uneaten” and “the pet I want is kind of extinct” have all been solved perfectly. You don’t have to think of that.

What is your pet?

cowboybarbaryn

Immediate first thought, triceratops. If I could get one of those that’s like permanently the size of a cat or small dog I’m set

xenasaur

we need legislation banning games >100GB

xenasaur

OPTIMIZE YOUR SHIT BETTER THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR A 150GB GAME!!!

xenasaur

upon reviewing the notes I'm changing my position. games must be <50GB. no more mandatory 8k uncompressed textures!!! I don't believe in 8k I think it's fake

xenasaur

to be clear games really ought to be around 20 gigs or less. but I think in the spirit of generosity and mercy we won't criminally prosecute the developers until the file sizes breaks 50

creamypancakebatter

Helldivers 2 heard you and went from 156 to 23

xenasaur

wait is that real

just looked it up. holy fuck. they did it by de-duplicating assets. I'm just. my jaw is on the floor. supposedly duplicating assets helps load times on HDDs but. holy fuck at what cost

somespicycheese

it's worse than that: The Helldivers devs were told that duplicating assets would help HDD load times, but then they actually tested it and it had basically zero effect on load times!

So they had more than sextupled the size of their game by following industry standard practice that actually did basically nothing!

punkitt-is-here

obsessed with this fucking gastronauts clip

3000s

we are in truble

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yamada-ryo

what do you mean the wayneradiotv spamton stream is now retroactively lore relevant now

noelle-ism

unfortunately it is not

toby literally specified that those are non-canon just to preemptively assuage those people and i'm still seeing some try to use details fro

yamada-ryo

bo0zey

i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

bo0zey

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

bo0zey

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

kimiko24

I fucking love this video

krafterwrites

Just remembered about possibly one of my favorite YTP clips

(Source)

goatgirlballs

well if its for fucked up and horny reasons, then i guess its okay...

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abimee

0v9

seeing this image in 2026 is like seeing an old friend who I've dearly missed

3000s

thriron

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