what the hell are harpies
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@kittyopteryx
what the hell are harpies

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pluto (the celestial body) told me that it’s actually kind of upsetting how much you guys insist on her being a planet. she says it feels like you don’t like her for who she is and you’d prefer an imagined version of her instead. what’s so terrible about being a dwarf planet, she asked me. does she have to be a “real” planet to be worthy of love?
One time we was doing the Medieval faire a little bit after the Witcher tv show got started and everybody brought a bunch of like plastic pirate coins and hanukkah gelt and shit like that cause we assumed a bunch of patrons would be dressed up as witchers but there were like . . . 2 of them. A buddy of mine tried to throw one of em a coin and he was like "That better not be another fucking coin"
I need everyone to picture a single man dressed as Mr. Witcher being followed around by a trail of sad rennies with puppy-dog eyes and fistfuls of plastic coins. There was someone in Jaskier cosplay doing a rendition of "stop tossing coins to your witcher."
We started throwing the coins at each other just to have something to do with them. It was fucking hilarious.
I still have an entire bag of them in my box of Faire props, hahahahahaha.
I couldn't even bring myself to ask him for a picture; he looked so sad to be so loved.
My incredibly bleak philosophy of compassion is that we should all pity each other horribly and practice an according amount of kindness.
I asked for a pastry at the coffee shop. When I raised my card up to pay, he simply said "you're good." and waved it away. I wondered why. I wondered what made him think I deserved to have my order be free. Sparing me those two dollars.
Sitting down at the table, I remembered the scars on my arm. The universal signifier of "This Kid Needs Help." Maybe his kindness was only out of pity. He saw those and assumed there was some great misery and wanted to offer me some relief. It's generally good to be kind to people who are hurting. But I wasn't hurting that bad.
The thing is, there is some great misery. People generally aren't doing that great. There is a great misery within me and within him and within everyone, and some people notice the pain, some people express it, others don't. But we all suffer from something.
It doesn't matter if someone seems to deserve some relief. Everyone needs it. Everyone is suffering constantly. Some more than others, but still. This Kid Needs Help applies to everyone.
Thirty minutes later, I went to get a second pastry, intending to pay and leave a tip this time. It was the same cashier. As he reached to grab it for me, I saw scars on his arm.
But it doesn't really matter. He'd deserve a tip anyway. Because it's never just us hurting.

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I’ve fallen in love with her. She’s everything to me.
Based on my favorite tumblr post of all time
explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured
does this skull belong to a dinosaur? or some other manner of extinct creature?
deathly curious how good the average tumblr user is at distinguishing dinosaur skulls from non dinosaur skulls
howd you do?
100-90%
89-80%
79-70%
69-60%
59-50%
49-40%
39-30%
below 29%
i dont wanna talk about it/results
so in the uk you will be ably to apply to join the army at 17 but not use your phone after 8:30pm. that makes sense

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Day in the life!
art by @paggi.bsky.social
we need to do something about that big rock outside the castle because enemy knights have figured out that if you charge up it at the right angle you can launch yourself onto the ramparts and start killing our archers
???
Seriously?!
I don’t even have a Sableye???
literally nothing and i genuinely mean absolutely nothing in this world quite encompasses corporate detachment from the consumer quite like peggle_2_ode_to_joy.gif
upon its release to the xbox live arcade in 2009, peggle was THE top selling game for two solid weeks. within a month, more than 100,000 players were on the leaderboards. before it got to live arcade, it had been downloaded 50 million times.
and when it released for ios? holy fuck were they DROWNING in money. when they took a weekend to put the game on sale for a dollar, down from five, a couple months after release, they made as much in that one weekend as they did since its release. it was among the top paid apps for weeks.
with critics, peggle was among some of the top downloadable, mobile, and general best games of all time at the time of its release in 2007 and onwards, and it only shot up in popularity as they made it more accessible to more people. and this was in a time before candy crush.
the thing about simple addictive puzzle games is that they make you feel competent, confident, smart, and cool for being good at them. not everybody can learn how to aim in a shooter or the best strategy in an rpg. but anybodys grandmother or baby brother can play a simple puzzle game, and the nature of these games and the way they make you feel only makes you want to play more and more.
however very very fucking few people who play simple puzzle games that you can master on the toilet would be going to E3 in the early 2010s. remember in 2012 when every ~hardcore gamer~ would screech about ‘fake gamers’ who only play candy crush? thats what peggle was. it was THE crack mobile game from the pre-candycrush era.
no one who was excited about peggle was going to E3. the hundreds of thousands of people who played peggle were not the type of people who would consider going to (or even giving a shit about) E3.
but it sold like hot cakes, and candy crush was churning out content like a madman, and EA owned popcap now, so because the game sold amazingly, and because they wanted to keep cashing in on it, and because corporate drones who controlled the scripts didnt comprehend that their consumerbase isnt one homogeneous mass, they decided to announce peggle 2 at E3 2013.
but not just “oh by the way peggle 2”, no. peggle sold like skyrim, it sold like black ops, clearly they should be saving the best for last, they should announce it like it was the craziest most incredible announcement of the night!
thus:
but in all honesty it doesnt quite have the same impact without hearing ode to joy overtop of the deafening silence of the crowd. so heres a link too. timeless.

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we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious
i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny
&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend
Choerosaurus dejageri, the permian therocephalian with a funny face.
I watched the first episode of surviving earth and that led me down a rabbit hole on permian therapsids and my new favorite extinct animal. It's a funny dog. I didn't know much about therocephalians and they're a lot more diverse than I thought! The bosses on Choerosaurus' skull is thought to be for display as they're too fragile for headbutting.