Welcome To My Personal Hellscape :)

barantos - gonna be you and me

by the time the ninth month rolls around, trinity isn’t sure which of them is more physically tired, her or baran.

she understood, had read in medical textbooks, that libido often went tenfold during pregnancy but that was supposed to be around the second trimester and baran was still going.

“please, baby, more. need you again.”

she had to be superhuman, it was the only explanation. it was like she was constantly wet, like she constantly wanted it, constantly needed trinity. she couldn’t function without her.

trinity could barely get home these days without being pounced upon, strap shoved into her arms and boxers pulled to the floor before she could even drop her work bag. she’d become a play thing for baran to use and god above, she was not complaining about that.

“you like that baby? you like my dick in you? pumping you full?”

baran nods through tears and fluttering eyelashes. they have to do it this way these days, baran bouncing in trinity’s lap, belly too big for her to be pinned face down on the bed, body too sore for trinity to rail her from behind. she presses her tits, full and heavy, to trinity’s face and gasps in relief when trinity wraps her tongue around them.

“yes, please, god baby, again. more more more.”

it’s usually gibberish by this point in the evening, baran on her fourth or fifth orgasm, wringing more and more effort out of trinity each time. she’s already a mess but the minute she’s sated, it all comes roaring back again.

“need you again, baby. need it harder. need to know how much you want me.”

“I want you all the time, baby. gonna give you a kid again, as many as you want. gonna knock you up whenever. here just for you.”

-baran knows about the situation from her conversation with robby at the end of S.2, but i don't think she would press trinity about it until she was ready

-baran is, of course, angry at robby about the situation. Both at his hypocrisy at not reporting frank but threatening to report her, as well as the way robby framed the narrative as "trinity being responsible for exposing langdon"

-after robby left for his sabbatical, baran's priority was making sure PTMC was a healthy learning environment for the residents, especially mentally and emotionally

-after beginning their relationship, baran is curious about how trinity is handling the situation, but doesn't press her

-trinity doesn't share because trinity is scared to drive baran away like she did yolanda

-one day in the ER there was a patient who was brought in and was suspected to have had an intended overdose. trinity was often called in to talk to patients with suspected mental health problems because of her empathy and willingness to listen from a non-psychologist perspective.

-during their chat, the patient revealed that he had stolen pills from his job at a nursing home. trinity was able to pass the case off to javadi, the emergency psychiatry resident, but the case troubled her. She thought about the elderly who were now missing doses of their medication.

-that night, baran can tell trinity is troubled. she had heard about the case in passing, and the nature of the pills used for the overdose, and had taken care to watch trinity for any signs of emotional distress.

-they're laying in bed, baran reading and trinity scrolling, when baran starts talking about an experience she had in medical school

-medical school for baran was in a different time. medicine was still very male-dominated. while in residency, one of her friends, in order to try to mitigate his medical debt, began swiping meds and needles every once and while to sell

-baran caught him in the act of taking meds one day and threatened to report him. he said if she did he would make her life a living hell.

-once she found out he had started taking the drugs himself, she told her attending. she lost a friend group that night. baran understands the isolation of wanting to do the right thing.

-i don't know if this would be the moment that trinity finally talks about it with her. but i do know that trinity has never felt more understood in her life

. . .