Welcome To My Personal Hellscape :)

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↑ genuinely likes frogs ↑

↑ doesn’t gaf and doesn’t gaf who knows it ↑

↑ rehab has a lot of free stickers ↑

↑ one of her favorites ↑

↑ the only stickers he owns are amputee jokes and Lana del Rey themed ↑

↑ debating on anonymously leaving this in ogilvie’s locker ↑

↑ slight millennial humor but is oblivious and finds it cute ↑

↑ got matching stickers bc “roommate privileges” per Trinity ↑

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She knows which option is worse for her blood pressure… arguably. But she also doesn’t want a new line on her rap sheet for the first time in 17 years, either.

God. She needs to fucking retire. They have it planned and everything. Three more years.

“Fuck!” she kicks a trash can as she walks by it, as hot coffee dribbles down her chin. Two patient deaths and one child abuse case, and it was only 11am.

Perlah looks at her over the rim of her new reading glasses from central. The look is so reminiscent of Dana that her chest aches. But she pushes it down. Promises herself to actually, truly visit St. Mary’s soon. Bring a little broom, and fresh flowers.

“Do I need to call your wife down, Cassie?” Perlah asks. Cassie chuckles a little listlessly, “I don’t need a psych consult. Just for Baran to come back from her research sabbatical. And maybe a cigarette.”

She shouldn’t be thinking about smoking twice in under ten minutes. Damn it.

She relents, sounding a little pathetic: “but maybe you can page her and remind her of our lunch plans? We packed something for you and Princess and Emma, too. It’s all in the fridge. She’s really into meal prepping this month.”

“Always a sweetheart, that one,” the charge nurse beams, dialing up to psychiatry quick as she can.

—————————

Victoria McKay - though she still uses Javadi at the hospital - tucks into a large chicken and rice bowl, loosening the tight bun in her hair with her free hand. She smiles easily when her wife comes bursting in, ten minutes behind schedule.

“I don’t have long - “ Cassie starts. Victoria stands, making a shushing sound and kissing her softly on the lips.

“What else is new?” she rolls her eyes, leading the older woman to a chair and pushing their lunch over to her, “I ate my half, your turn.”

Victoria as usual, left her a little bit extra. She looks up gratefully, deep crows feet crinkling around her eyes, “you sure?”

Victoria only scoffs and waves the question off. Stays standing behind Cassie and begins rubbing at the knots in her slumped shoulders.

“Perlah says you were being a nightmare.”

“Mm,” around a bite of food, chewing quickly, and then Cassie says “just miss you. Wanna be on vacation again.”

She leans further back against Victoria’s talented hands, finishes lunch within five minutes and stands, somewhat regretfully.

As they part at the door, Cassie turns back and lifts a finger in a joking “a-ha!” sort of way, as if she’s only just remembered a question.

“Hey, what’s your take on arson, by the way?”

Victoria giggles, sounding in her 20s again. Something that only Cassie can pull out of her.

“I’ll have no part in it. In fact, I’d have Harrison drive all the way from Philly to bail you out.”

“No fun.” Cassie looks around the hall and takes three quick strides back towards Victoria. Pecks her on the lips. “love you.”

“I love you too. Go,” Victoria laughs, shoving her back playfully.

no you will be kissed with tongue

cw for fauxcest

This caused fights with her ex girlfriends- hell, even her ex situationships. But Baran gets off on it. Enjoys teasing her girlfriend while she’s three fingers inside her like,

“I saw you flirting with Victoria earlier,” thrusts deeper, making Trinity cry out, “do you think she could fuck you like this, dear one?”

“N-no,” Trinity whines, digging her heels into the mattress.

“You’re curious though, aren’t you?” Directly into Trinity’s ear.

Trinity nods, unashamed, nearly knocking her chin against Baran’s.

“So naughty, my filthy thing.”

Trinity gasps, “yours! Close.”

“Do you think her Dr. McKay would fuck you too, or just watch?”

many mcvadi thoughts…but here’s just one for now

i think it’s vic that initiates more of the kinkier stuff, cassie always so worried about overstepping, always so grateful that she gets to have vic at all

and in the grand scheme of things vic has fantasized about, read about on various late night ao3 binges, this is is basically missionary under the covers with the lights off to her

but cassie’s hands are tied to the headboard, feet tied to the end of the bed, strapped up and torturously watching vic work her way up and down the length of it. she’s been going for what feels like hours, although she knows it can’t be more than a singular hour, knows vic has been close to the edge a few times and has purposefully slowed down to stop herself from tumbling over

when vic’s legs need a rest she periodically slips off the toy and lays next to cassie, one hand reaching down to play with herself to keep herself close, the other stroking cassie’s strap, grinding the base of it against her clit with the same sort of focused attention she shows to a particular complicated procedure in the hospital

and then when she’s ready, will swing a leg back over cassie and slip the strap back into her. cassie isn’t sure if the moaning is gratuitous for her sake or not and she doesn’t really care. her own muscles aching from tugging at her binds. please vadi, baby, just let me touch you, wanna make you feel good, don’t i always make you feel good?

vic huffs out a laugh between her panting, looks down at cassie in a way that makes her feel pathetic but also sets her alight, i’ve already got your cock inside me, what more do you want, so greedy

before…lifting herself up til just the tip is notched in her entrance and slamming her hips back down, working furiously as cassie strains and whines and begs to be involved

vic cums with a cry, body bowing over, hair curtaining her face, cassie can feel vic’s thighs trembling on the outside of her own, can see the gush of wet when vic lifts off the strap, rolls over to catch her breath next to cassie

- Cassie is honestly the perfect match for Victoria. She’s easygoing, patient, and emotionally steady in a way that balances out how anxious Vic can get, both little and big. Cassie never makes her feel rushed, embarrassed, or “too much,” which ends up meaning everything to Victoria.

- Cassie calls Victoria "bunny” so naturally at this point that Vic sometimes forgets it’s not actually her name.

“C’mere, bunny.” “There’s my girl.” “You okay, bun?”

- Victoria tends to regress really young compared to most of the Pitt littles, usually somewhere around 2-4, which means Cassie ends up doing a lot more hands-on caregiving than she expected at first.

- Victoria LOVES coloring. She’ll absolutely annihilate an entire coloring book in under a week if nobody stops her. Cassie learns very quickly that the easiest way to calm Vic down is to quietly sit beside her and color too.

- Half of Cassie's apartment ends up covered in coloring pages because Cassie refuses to throw any of them away.

- Victoria is obsessed with Barbie movies, Littlest Pet Shops, Polly Pockets, and anything tiny enough to fit in her hands. Cassie has absolutely stepped on a Polly Pocket shoe barefoot before and nearly ascended to another plane of existence.

- Vic's comfort cartoons are things like Little Bear, Franklin, Max & Ruby, and old Strawberry Shortcake DVDs. Cassie eventually memorizes entire episodes without meaning to.

- Victoria has a tendency to go completely nonverbal when she regresses to a younger age, especially if she’s overwhelmed or anxious. Cassie handles it in the gentlest way possible by turning everything into little games instead of pressuring her to talk.

“Okay, bunny, are we feeling goldfish crackers or applesauce today? Point at your winner.”

- Cassie gets very good at reading Victoria’s body language over time. The tiny pout means overwhelmed. Tugging on sleeves means uppies. Rubbing her eyes means she’s about five minutes away from passing out.

- Vic is the clingiest baby alive when she’s little. If Cassie stands up for even two seconds, suddenly there’s a tiny sleepy Victoria following after her, dragging a blanket behind her.

“Bunny, I’m literally just getting water.” Tiny sniffle. “Oh.”

- Victoria cries very easily while regressed, but not dramatically. She just gets watery-eyed and heartbroken-looking over tiny things, and Cassie folds instantly every single time.

- Cassie becomes terrifyingly good at calming panic attacks or meltdowns before they fully hit.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” “You’re okay.” “I’ve got you, bunny.”

- Victoria absolutely loves sitting in Cassie’s lap while Cassie does pretty much anything. Watching TV, scrolling on her phone, folding laundry, Vic just wants to be held while it happens.

- Cassie is also one of the only people who can consistently get Victoria to eat when she’s regressed and anxious because she never pushes too hard. She’ll just casually slide snacks closer over time until Vic starts nibbling on them absentmindedly.

- Bath time becomes a huge comfort for Victoria because Cassie makes it feel safe instead of overwhelming. Warm water, soft towels fresh from the dryer, and quickly washing her hair while Cassie talks the entire time, softly.

- Victoria gets extremely attached to praise from Cassie because of how gentle she is with it.

“You did so well for me, bunny.” And suddenly, Vic’s hiding her face because she’s trying not to cry over being praised for something small.

- Cassie secretly loves how affectionate Victoria gets when she’s little. Vic's hands are constantly reaching for her, and her sleepy cuddles heal something in Cassie a little, too.

convincing cassie to buy bigger and bigger straps, and cassie first and foremost is always sooo concerned about hurting her girl but fuck, if she doesn’t also get off on seeing the obscene stretch of it all, watching the wet seam of her girl have to let her in

cassie’s hand pressing down firmly on her lower belly, for the first time since they started this little experiment she realizes she can feel the strap from the outside

Ultimately, Cassie McKay’s life was a cosmic joke. She’d just returned from her 4th or 5th - who’s counting, not her, that’s a little desperate - date with her handsome former 4th of July patient, had kissed him as he held her by the hips up against his impressive car…

And now, standing in her living room doorway watching Victoria sleep on her couch, mouth open and thin t-shirt riding up…she was aroused.

She tried to convince herself it was a delayed effect from an objectively good make-out.

But they didn’t really have chemistry like that. He was nice, and she figured she’d eventually sleep with him to break the dry spell….

Victoria let out a little moan in her sleep, and one of her knees dropped open, exposing even more skin under her sleep shorts. Skin dangerously close to somewhere forbidden.

Yep. Nothing about Cassie was dry right now. She was going to pass out, probably. Would die and go to hell when she hit the floor, perhaps. Needed to move, to wake up Victoria and get her to leave, or run upstairs like she saw nothing and go to bed, definitely.

She went with running away, because of course she did. Peaking into Harrison’s bedroom to triple check he was safe before closing her bedroom door.

Staring at her ceiling as her hand repeatedly trailed down towards, and ripped away from her aching core.

—————————

“Oh um, I can’t tonight, sorry!” Victoria quickly replied to Mateo, her boyfriend of 3-months now, before continuing to type away on her phone in the break room.

“Then why are you smiling? You seem happy about it… I just miss ya, y’know?”

Victoria schooled her features, put her phone away guiltily and looked him.

“I know. I really am, sorry. Cassie just has me babysitting again…”

“Mhm. Sure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing, just starting to seem like I’m dating someone with a kid.”

Rubbing her thighs you lean down, moving her shirt to kiss her lower tummy. Victoria bites her lip, those expressive little eyebrows of her go up and she closes her eyes, trying to hold her breath. You pull her underwear off tossing them off to the side without a care in the world. You admire her bloody pussy, the way her lips part ever so slightly so you can see her blood coated clit. She goes to sit up and you push her down, hand clutched around her shirt, trying so had to control yourself.

You prod open her cunt, her blood already coating your fingers, you push you face closer entranced with her perfectly mess cunny. She covers her face in embarrassment. You coo at her, your warm breath fanning against her making her jump;

I hope you don't mind I'm going to tweak this a little bit! The spirit of your prompt will remain the same but my *personal* headcanon can't conceptualize Victoria taking a random pill. Smoking weed, though...well...

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The science-based, logical part of Victoria's brain says "the marijuana was cut with something" and "Trinity's friends were lying about buying the stuff legally in Jersey. It's street weed. It's not pure."

But Trinity had left - Victoria had promised her three times it was okay that she left. Victoria said she was fine, she liked Trinity's friends, she wanted to feel like she had a life for once, y'know, stay out late, get to know strangers....

But then the smoking started. And she'd tried it once before! So she said yes.

Where was she, again? Victoria , standing alone against the bathroom door (she'd run away from her new acquaintences when the panic hit) desperately tries to clear her head.. Right. Trinity had left. And the scienc-y part of her brain is rapidly slipping away, as the high stays for way longer than it was supposed to from just two hits. She starts to breathe funny, and her vision starts to swim.

Shit...she needs to not be here.

Hates the first idea that pops into her mind. But she knows it's the only right answer.

Please, Gods up there, forgive her.

___________________________________________________________

The phone rings only twice,

"Vic?" comes Cassie's sleepy voice.

Victoria, immediately relieved but also guilty and terrified, starts *sobbing*

"Please don't be mad - " a hiccup through sobs " - I need, I need...I need - " she gets stuck in a loop. Can't get anything else out. Is her heart beating too fast?

"Victoria. What happened? Where are you?" Cassie is sitting up straight in bed, her heart pounding too. Then standing up, already putting clothes on with her phone pressed to her ear by her shoulder.

Victoria blurts out the bar name before she forgets it, "I was stupid. Smoked some weed with Trinity's friends. She left earlier. I don't - I think - " whines as the bathroom tiles look wrong wrong WRONG, closes her eyes - "it was bad stuff. I don't know what's happening to me. Please. I need you. M'sorry."

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Cassie comes bursting in, a storm of anxiety and fear, furious with herself for not having asked Vic *where*, exactly *where* was she, before she lost her to the younger girl's phone dying.

She scoped out the bar, quickly peaked outside in the alley, but whoever Victoria had been hanging out with was gone now.

They left her. They left her girl (she wasn't her girl), they fucking LEFT her.

She finds Victoria in the bathroom, sweaty and shaking, slumped against the wall under the sinks.

She immediately feels vertigo threaten to overtake her. Because it's like peering through the looking glass, isn't it?

This is what people saw of her. She was standing in front of herself, in a way and -

No. No she wasn't. Cassie, stop it.

Cassie collapses onto the floor and pulls Vic against her. Feels her pulse (fast, but strong). Her temperature (clammy, but normal). Good...these things are good.

Vic groans, leans against her even though she hasn't seen that it's *her* yet, and Cassie gets so sick to her stomach at the fact she could have been anyone that she closes her eyes for a second, too.

Then she snaps out of it.

"Victoria, honey, open your eyes. Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, m'fine," Victoria says quietly, "can't open them. Room starts looking scary and- " but that's all she gets. Did Victoria nod off?? "Please, just for a minute" Cassie urges, loudly. Victoria, thank god, listens.

Cassie leans in, can smell at least some alcohol on Victoria's breathe - not a good combination!!! - and sees that her pupils are constricted.

She thinks, possible opiod lacing.

She thinks, no, not Victoria.

Not when this was only *some accident*.

Not when she survived years of doing this kind of shit on purpose.

Certainly not Victoria, when it could have been her instead.

She lifts Victoria into her arms. Cuts into the back alley. Darts around the building.