@a-crown-for-sweets - Tumblr Blog

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward

moonwatcher13

Take your male alien bodytype, make her like 4 feet taller, give her an extra set of arms and sharper teeth, and as muscular as shit.

Boom.

skywalkerchick1138

lemonsharks

Give her natural camouflage and make the man like this

Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors

Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is

Surprise mPreganté

Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)

Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it

Please just for the love of pie do not begin and end with boobs

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mumblesplash

actually while i’ve still got this soapbox stuck to my shoe i also wanna say i think culturally we gotta start conceptualizing physical fitness as a productive hobby rather than an obligation

mumblesplash

it’s sort of like clothes. there’s a baseline level of involvement with clothing necessary to stay safe from the elements and participate in society. having a variety of different clothing isn’t *strictly* necessary but pretty tangibly helpful. knowing how to do some minor mending and tailoring is nice. once you get into sewing your own clothes, you’re in hobby territory. if you’re making your own textiles from scratch, that is not only definitely a hobby but not something you can expect other people to want to do

the sort of nonsense fitness influencers get up to is sort of like people showing off their homemade silkworm farm and then pointing at everyone else and going “what’s YOUR excuse for wearing a TSHIRT from the STORE???” and actually nvm that would be fucking hilarious. god i wish that was an actual thing can you imagine

mumblesplash

that’s what i’m talking about!!!!!

victusinveritas

jackhawksmoor

weaselle

"adventurers are actually more scared of you than you are of them"

"he's literally just doing what an adventurer is supposed to do"

"do you think they think of us as Giant Adventurers?"

"do you know how many other creatures would be infesting our cave if there were no adventurers?"

"how would you like it if you were bumbling along on your little adventurer day, and some giant dragon thing squished you for the crime of being yourself?"

"y'know, so many dragons are grossed out by them, but i think they're fascinating! Did you know some adventurers form symbiotic relationships with small monsters? Some of them even do a simplified form of spellcraft! Like, with actual magic and everything!"

mercaius

"Of course they are swarming your cave, you dolt! You captured a juvenile queen and took it home with you, what did you expect!?"

ultimatespider

the pros of reading ao3 fics in public is that their layout is so clean and simple that people would think you’re reading some academic researches when you’re in fact reading a 50k fic. the cons is that you need to control your face all the fucking time

fuckyeahisawthat

An additional feature: the layout is clean and simple BUT anyone familiar with AO3 will immediately recognize it. Pro or con? You decide.

lynati

If they know it enough to recognize it on sight, they probably aren’t going to be judging me about it.

geardrops

they were also at the devil’s sacrament

oysters-aint-for-me

i keep getting this instagram ad for what i assume is a romantasy novel that begins w the phrase “imagine knowing your destiny in life…is to die” n it’s pissing me off SO BAD. everyone’s destiny in life is to die. that’s like. kind of the main one.

ariaste

and taxes

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german-enthusiast

i love the phrase "wieder was gelernt" it's just so huh. yeah. alright. knowledge unlocked. moving on!

and its brother "man lernt nie aus" - so true. you really never stop learning new things. such a grounded way of recognizing that. go off i guess

ofchaosgoddess

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

nothereforthedrama

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

william-snekspeare

help I’m having ideas beyond my available budget

charlesoberonn

help I'm having ideas beyond my available skills

astriiformes

Inspired by my walking past a home built in 1754 in my new neighborhood, which isn't even the oldest building in the city. As someone born and raised in the Western US (where we do have some very old buildings, contrary to popular belief, just not in the middle of most cities), it made me curious!

When was the oldest extant building you can reasonably walk to from your home built?

20th century

19th century

18th century

17th century

16th century

15th century

14th century

13th century

12th century

11th century

10th century or before

Voting ended onAug 7

(Use your judgement for definitions of "extant," it doesn't have to be used for its original purpose but my intention is a building that could theoretically still be used, not just the remnants of one.)

#oh interesting #most buildings that are still in use date back to the 18th and 17th century #the church tower dates back to the 12th century #though the rest of the church is from the 19th century only

nimiten

a look into the past

torakage-kimchi

woahhh this is so PRETTY, OP did such an amazing job holyyyyy

#witch hat atelier

bannock-and-biopolitics-deactiv

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

curlicuecal

oh shit my laundry

mishafletcher

reblog to save someone’s laundry

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encryptidarchivist

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

zamczysko

WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us

kozlarz

cmon they just started… give it some time

encryptidarchivist

thank you.

two

byjove

at least now we know why he has yet to return when Britain is in peril

kitkatmoose

We need a flick where King Arthur wakes in modern Jamaica and is very confused.

byjove

I think that would be so much funny. He wakes up on a remote beach in Jamaica and he only speaks/understands Brythonic and Medieval Latin. Locals assume he was a tourist who fell from a cruise ship or received a head injury and floated away from a resort. The authorities cannot match his description to any missing persons reports and his fingerprints and DNA produce no hits on INTERPOL. They suspect he may be Welsh or French because the language he speaks resembles Welsh or Breton but France and the UK both state he is not a citizen of their country. Stateless and deeply confused, he is taken in by the community near the beach where he was found, being cared for by a number of local families and doing odd jobs. He slowly learns English and adjusts to the contemporary world, uncertain if his belief that he is the legendary King Arthur was formed by whatever traumatic event caused him to end up Jamaica or if he is actually King Arthur and Prydain is in eminent peril. Mysterious letters from Morgan begin to reaffirm his belief he is King Arthur. He must choose between staying in Jamaica and continuing the happy life he has made for himself or finding a way to get back to Britain without any documentation.

a-daks

ancient king white boy stuns locals by ordering in perfect Jamaican Patois

byjove

He gets to Britain and everyone expects him to sound like a posh noble Englishman because that is the picture Malory painted but he prefers to speak Welsh and when he has to speak English, he speaks with a thick Jamaican accent.

officerhaughtstuff

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

heterokatedison

is it too early or can we start screaming now

heterokatedison

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

jorolle

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

screampotato

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

glitched-out-mess

theramblingvoid

Hit "view post" and lost it

theweirdwideweb

alex51324

The ocean is so fucking weird. Imagine if you were just living your life and then all of the sudden here comes one of these.

Here on land there are only so many ways a creature can move, and by the time you're six or so, you've seen pretty much all of them that you're ever likely to.

Down there in the ocean they can just do anything. You could see a new weird animal every week for your whole life, and then when you're 80 this guy rocks up to you.

abandoned-as-mustard

Squiderella on her way home from the ball

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exeggcute

the sunk cost fallacy has been my favorite fallacy for as long as I can remember. so at this point it's probably too late to pick a different one

terri-theslime13

I just heard about the recency bias, and honestly I think it's gotta be the best one ever

blueflyingturtleontheway

Everyone is saying that the bandwagon effect is the best bias, so they have to be right

in-a-celestial-light

I once had this one logic professor who said that appeal to authority is the best fallacy. She's an expert in logic, so she must be right.

vhen-harel

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