the human heart is no small thing

This is really sweet, thank you! I love knowing what brought people to my blog and that's a very fun reason. I'm very glad youre still hanging out around here.

I'm truly doing okay with all this, all things considered. It's frustrating to be reminded that fandom spaces are the way they are, but, like, I already knew that. I'm really more touched that multiple people have now reached out to say my stance on all this--and on aspec matters more generally--has meant something to them.

Which is of course heartbreaking to me and not something I'm going to blame the aspec people who feel that way for, but I do think it highlights something else really significant. I've also gotten the usual comments from people saying "Well if you like aro/ace headcanons or genfic or whatever, you should just make your own things about it"

we've never actually even talked beyond a stray anonymous message or few, and still, you managed a remarkably positive impact on a stranger's life during a very formative period. i can't imagine i'm the only person you've helped even from that much of a distance with how long you've been around here, either. so from the bottom of my heart, from me and from anyone else in a similar position: thank you so much for being vocally & proudly aspec. it's very truly wound up life-changing

now. i am going to watch project hail mary for the first time and likely go on to share your energy myself. maybe if the stars all align, i'll myself be on the giving end of helping someone move a step closer to self-actualization & confidence that their experience is a complete story, and one worth being told. all my love to you & yours man. bidding you both all the best with moving 💌

This is truly such a kind ask, I really don't know what to say that could possibly capture everything I'm feeling, but I imagine that's understandable. I'm honored to have been a part of your journey, and I can't imagine a better ask to receive in response to all this. And during Pride month, no less!

I didn't really have a lot of older or more established aro/ace people I looked up to when I first started talking about these things, and have had to sort of forge my own path every step of the way, so it's extra meaningful to hear that it's one other people have benefited from. I already knew that to some extent -- my being open about aro/ace stuff is part of how I ended up with some of my closest fandom friends, including my queerplatonic partner -- but every time someone tells a story like this, it feels fresh, somehow. This, to me, is also just such a great example of why these conversations are so important. Sure, it's "just fandom" where these things are happening, but that doesn't mean there isn't spillover into people's real, daily, queer lives, too. I remember being 17 and reading the same queerplatonic Pacific Rim fanfic over and over again because it was the only story I'd ever found that felt like it promised me a future I was interested in and could see myself inhabiting -- and now I'm a full-grown adult with a queerplatonic partner of my very own, and a truly incredible amount of non-romantic love in my life.

I want to add that I think it's very possible that just by existing in the world as an aspec person secure in their identity, you've probably already left behind more ripples than you know. Our ways of thinking about love and relationships tend to challenge societal norms, and our contributions to conversations about sex, romance, relationships, and the way society ought to be structured are important.

We're moving in late July, which is likely when some of the worst of the moving costs will kick in! That said, we do also have to pay double rent next month (for both the new place in Providence and our current place in Saint Paul, there was a month of overlap), and while we technically have the funds to do that, it certainly wouldn't hurt to have raised some money by then.

It truly does detract from so many of the themes, including the themes that made aro/ace Grace a semi-popular headcanon to begin with. Project Hail Mary is a story about a man who, for whatever reason, struggled to establish close, strong relationships in his life on Earth, a fact which it can be argued played into his "expendability," who as a result was sent on a suicide mission and yet still managed to finally find closeness in someone truly alien.

I've been loud about being aro/ace on the internet since like 2013 so I have, genuinely, weathered far worse than this, and also, for all that fandom is both important to me & also a microcosm of the many things wrong with society, at the end of the day, I am capable of looking at a lot of this and going. Well that's dumb.