of snogs, snacks and other stories

no strings attached, no bittersweet victories, no happiness tempered by loss or uncertainty or ephemerality or complications or ‘realism’

scrapbooked the hell out of his newspapers

put on a hat that was too big for him 

giggled

cried because lestrade was nice to him

got all sappy and romantic by smelling a rose

let a puppy lead him on adventures

“impish mood”

lit his pipe with an ember from the fireplace because he thought it looked cool

told a guy he was giving him secret government documents and then gave him a book about bees instead

Was offended that Watson doesn’t praise his skills as a housekeeper

Waived his fee if his clients are too poor to pay him

Made hot chocolate to wake Watson up on a cold morning

Danced around and bowed to imaginary friends

‘Flushed up with pleasure’ when being praised

Wouldn’t explain how he comes to conclusions because he was worried Watson would think he is ordinary

Grabs Watson’s hand when he’s frightened

gets dressed up and masks in shit for a breakin (the watson-description one) like holmes it’s a break-in not a date

to be fair it might be both for him

goes up to watson when he is first meeting him and essentially drags this complete stranger over to look at the cool Science he just did

doesn’t know that the earth goes around the sun at first (study in scarlet)

watson’s reply, verbatim: “But the Solar System!” I protested. (study in scarlet)

rips on fictional detectives, calling one “a very inferior fellow” and the other “a miserable bungler”, “in an angry voice” at that (study in scarlet)

deduces too much about watson’s older brother and makes watson sad (sign of the four)

is sexist -> a woman outsmarts him to be with the person she loves -> stops being sexist (scandal in bohemia, that’s the plot)

when watson tries to go to give the king privacy, he “pushe[s] [him] back into [his] chair” and says they’re a packaged deal (bohemia)

IN THE ADVENTURE WHERE HE COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD says “journeys end in lovers’ meetings” which to be fair is a quote from shakespeare and isn’t to watson but HOLY HELL

shakes the hand of a baby

shoots a patriotic slogan in the wall cause he’s bored

threatens to whip a guy

gets hobbies (medieval pottery, miracle plays, Buddhism of Sri Lanka…)

pestered watson about how watson wrote the stories and made it all romantic (true) until Watson said “Try it yourself, Holmes!” (canon), so he did, and promptly says that Watson is “an ideal helpmate” although he had at the time “deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone” like DAMN

plays music at weird hours

kept his tobacco in a Persian slipper

shoots up the wall with a patriotic slogan for no reason whatsoever

retires to sussex to keep bees which is just idk really freaking cute