Write Me a Sandwich!

this is just truthslop.you believe it because it happens to conform to reality

This is what Republicans sound like

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

db cooper fell on sasquatch and killed him and then had to take on his cryptid duties like The Santa Clause. thats why we never found him he was gifted sasquatch powers

problem i have is whenever i read write say or hear "sugar baby" my brain is like oh yeah, i know what that is! pretty sure we can reliably derive meaning for this term based on other definitions that precede it in our internal lexicon, like "sugar glider" and "bush baby". we are definitely talking about some kind of small arboreal marsupial with large eyes. it's probably not ethical for this wealthy patron to be keeping one as a pet

he looks like hes on the verge of sobbing

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

I'm dying

[leftistly] [secularly] having sex causes a hard to quantify but unmistakable change in your personality and being that can be detected by others. Having sex for the first time imbues you with qualities and deep understandings that you did not have in your pre-sex state.

Tumblr user standing at the front of the classroom picking petals off of roses and crumpling and uncrumpling paper and showing you that the tape is never the same amount of sticky again after being used: -except I think this is a good thing

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

If you use baby wipes go check them NOW. A lot of Burkholderia bugs are antibiotic resistant so infections can be really difficult to treat.

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.