You Get Killed, Walk It Off

The pilot: ❌️

Air traffic control: ❌️

Well, this was fun. I now feel like a terrible teacher. On the bright side, I also feel like a terrible person, so...

They're not only beautiful green spaces but excellent public displays of history and art history, and if you care to look closely you can find out a lot just by studying stones.

For example- notice how few modern headstones are dedicated to young children versus the ones erected before vaccines were widespread.

The cemetery near here has the state's largest silver maple crowning its grounds. Many of the trees in older cemeteries are some of the largest and oldest trees in an area.

Cemeteries are for the living, not the dead. Enjoy them. Go birdwatching in them. Don't be stupid in them sure but don't be too afraid to touch them either.

Try telling that to Chrétien de Troyes. Aka the guy who invented Lancelot.

“Arthurian canon isn’t French”

Clearly you don’t own an air fryer. Also clearly you haven’t read literally anything written after the Norman invasion.

“Arthur needs to be a knight in shining armor”

If he lived at all he lived almost a thousand years before widespread adaption of plate armor.

“He can’t be in plate armor because that’s anachronistic”

Try telling that to Thomas Mallory.

“The fairy stuff is leftover from Celtic myth/Celtic gods)

The FDA has upgraded an egg recall issued last month to “Class I,” its highest risk level, as it warns the public that consuming the products could cause “serious adverse health consequences or death.”

The recall of 1,589,577 dozen white-shell eggs and brown cage-free shell eggs was initially issued by Midwest Poultry Services in late July, which warned they might be contaminated with Salmonella Enteritidis.

According to the company, the eggs were produced and distributed from farms in Texas between June 6 and July 3 and have sell-by or best-by dates between July 20 and August 17. The recalled egg cartons have either the code P-1950 or 0840962 and Julian Dates between 157-184.

Anyway apparently Mr. Eclipse made 5000 years' worth of solar eclipse graphics, which you can find the simpler versions of here

Pros:

One of the most efficient gaits of the animal kingdom

Can carry and use tools while walking

Less area for sun exposure back in Africa (top of the head vs whole back)

Can carry our young since their stupid tiny hands can’t cling to us anymore like proper primates

Taller: see predators coming, pick fruit from trees, give better high-fives

Look scarier to other animals

Cons:

Back hurty

BIRTH HURTY x100

Knees: “I didn’t sign up for this.”

Heart: “I didn’t sign up for this.”

our circulatory system has to work so hard bro

Big tiger can see us better

Did I mention how much birth hurts bc of our stupid upright hips? Seriously, commonly dying in childbirth isn’t an evolutionary benefit smh