Wolverines on Typewriters

And for cis white guys who are always trying to figure out how to be an ally without talking over marginalized people, without reshaping the issue to be all about you - this guy shows how.

There is no such thing as "Hospitable hate". There is no such thing as a "Safe Fascist" or "Equitable Bigot". So there is no hospitality to offer Nazis.

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This is not legal advice and this is me, just talking about some jurisdiction-specific things I happen to know, as a defense attorney who's done so many A+B cases...

Assault and battery are different things. Battery is actually making contact with a person (i.e., the root of the word "battered.")

Assault can be done one of a two ways in common law.

Attempt battery and miss (throw a punch and whiff it)

Make someone think you're about to do battery even if you don't intend to

That second one can be tricky!! Generally, words are not enough for an assault. There must be some type of accompanying behavior, such as violent gestures (balling up fist, advancing, raising an item threateningly). Whether or not your words are a threat is also relevant; we have some great case law in this state that a threat involves a direct threat, not a conditional statement.

(That means you're on safer ground if you say "I will beat the shit out of you if you continue to display your heinous Nazi sign" than if you say "I will beat the shit out of you in five seconds.")

I see in this video that this guy balled up his fist and pointed in some gestures to "get the fuck out of here." I would likely not recommend that anyone do that. I would also not recommend "The only good Nazi is a dead Nazi" because, while true, it could be construed as a threat and therefore part of the relevant behavior to reach an assault charge. (Probably ok in this instance because this guy's sign said "the nazis were right" not "I'm a nazi." This seems trivial but could be an important distinction.)

Mind that my analysis is particular to my jurisdiction and there are many variants of this law. It is actually extremely difficult as a layperson to get a good picture of this in my jurisdiction specifically because the law forbids "assault & battery" without defining it, and the definition can only be found in the common law.

This squirrel attempted to jump a full six feet (yes, I measured) from a nearby bush to the bird feeder. Its first two misses were spectacular, so much so that when it made it on the third try, I let it hang out and eat as many peanuts as it wanted.

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

Guys who complain about the friendzone often don’t care about their female friends’ personal boundaries, forcing their female friends build more walls up. A good cartoon.

Resignedly, I placed another layer, voicing a quiet, repeated prayer, “This dude thinks he’s a player, but I am not a point to score, he should fuck off and bother me no more.”

Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro, By the mores that you abuse thus, by those films we both adore, Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, by stalking me through Facebook, You have gained a twisted outlook of whom those tropes are for, Paint a rare and radiant dream girl whilst you remain a bore, Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Be that slur our sign of parting, creep or douche!” I shrieked, upstarting, “Get thee back to lonely anguish and your friend’s used comic store! Leave no white rose as a token of the lust you claim heartbroken, Leave my scathing words to soak in! Quit the name calling of ‘whore’, When you lust for every girl, but when they say nay they are whores! Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

look at the first 3 stanzas. notice something? the only one talking is the girl. The girl is putting a ton of effort into cutting off the relationship and the guy is just repeating himself. all a girl has to say to a jerk like this is no- then they get names thrown at them over and over and over and over. Yet any plea to make it stop makes them say it more- push more for something the girl clearly doesn’t want.

Guys will often talk about how chasing after a girl doesn’t hurt anyone and isn’t that bad because it’s not taxing to them in anyway. On the other hand- the girls they chase have to push really hard to keep them out.