I need a nap

Let’s fucking go

europe is so weird because you have like all of southern europe with like just incredibly good and flavorful culinary traditions and then you have countries like the netherlands where you’re surprised they haven’t figured out a way to boil peat from a bog to serve it on a plate, unseasoned

Refo cunt fucking seething because his bog peat had a hint of black pepper in it and he had to spend the rest of the day gargling raw milk to make the burn go away while red in the face and shooting steam from his ears.

Fuck yeah white on white violence!!

Just introduced my fiancee to this masterpiece and watched her expression cycle through all 5 stages of grief in rapid succession

I bet it feels soooooo good to be a construction worker on a completely closed off chunk of road

btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you

literally walked up to a desk in the courthouse, said "is this where I register a car or is it the next one?" and she said it was the next one. and the lady at the next desk helped me. it feels embarrassing but I promise you can just ask

I need to hit eva stratt with a car [remembers that people might read that as "I want to brutalize a woman for being mean" and not "I want to put Character in a Situation"] hit her with a car lovingly [remembers I do actually sympathize with grace's whole deal and that was pretty fucked] but not too lovingly [remembers about the 4.5 billion people] well unless she'd like it to be more loving [remembers about antarctica and the sahara] wait I probably can't hit her with a car if she's in jail [remembers that I believe in restorative justice] she should be mitigating the harm caused by her actions instead of being in jail [remembers I'm a prison abolitionist] no one should be in jail [remembers what this post was about] I need to hit a jail with a car [remembers I can't drive] I need to hit a jail with a bicycle and also eva stratt is there

I need to hit ryland grace with a car [remembers pure sweet fuck all] why am I on a spaceship with mysteriously well toned muscles

#you try to hit eva stratt with your bicycle but she’s dutch so she parries and sends you flying into a canal #there wasn’t even a canal there the dutch can just do that (via @abstracted-psychopomp)

obsessed with Dooley in black sails. background character for 35 episodes, then rapidly promoted to Plot Important after the silverflint divorce because toby stephens needs someone to make emmy nomination losing speeches and facial expressions against and every other possible contender is dead. overestimates his own plot importance, thinks he's going to get a good grade in being flint's partner (both normal to want and possible to achieve) by offering to kill his ex boystie (boy bestie) for him, and then dies with with most DUDE WTF??? expression anyone has ever made after being shot. rip, should know better than to get between flint and his homoerotic situationship. never stood a chance.

of course we can't forget about his equal and opposite, mr. beauclerc, who is never mentioned nor seen on-screen until 1x05 when flint places the success of a major plan in his hands. did pirate ships even have sharpshooters? can you sharpshoot with the gun technology back then? doesn't matter, because this man is the walrus' Designated Sniper. flint introduces beauclerc like he's an a-list gunman of whom we've all heard. ahh yes, the mr. beauclerc. and the best part? he lives up to the hype, no-scopes an utterly insane shot with Ye Olde Musket, and then never appears ever again.

thinking all the time about a dnd campaign i played years and years ago. i wanted to play dnd for the first time but had no one to play with so i got on some reddit for people putting campaigns together and there was a DM who specifically wanted to do a campaign for exclusively first-time players bc they thought it would be exciting to introduce us all to the game. it was actually a super rigorous process to make the cut bc the DM wanted a group of adults with consistent availability who would commit to making the game a weekly priority (fair) so i filled out like an application and then met with the dm on-call to talk about potential characters and hash everything out. it ended up being an outrageously fun game and i learned as we went that most of the world, classes, etc. were homebrew and i was like the lore this DM has created is cuckoo bananas tbh like it's so deeply involved. anyway in the end the DM told us they're actually a best-selling published author and they'd always wanted to create a storyworld for an rpg. they wouldn't tell us their name and tbh they were right to tell us at the end bc if they'd told us at the beginning i'd have suspected they were full of it and lying to sound cool but after playing their game i do believe them. anyway afterward they didn't keep contact with any of us. they were like "here's a beautiful world and story thanks for coming now i'll disappear forever." who were you...............................

choosing to believe it was richard scary

Important inclusion I was not aware of, thank you very much friend. :)

I’m going to be chuckling over ‘Does this look like a hatchet to you, motherfucker?!?!?” for the rest of the day.

the original post also applies to female gladiators ("gladiatrix" is an anachronism)