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Status update: busy but in a good way

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kragehund-est

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

lmtyl

@renegadeshipping Gris and Volo

thememedaddy

bayneofmyexistence-blog

Put fandom for the first fic you posted online and the year your posted it in the tags.

#invader zim #circa 2007

charlesoberonn

Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6

but only once.

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agentofdeterioration

The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called “boring as hell,” but I can’t help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, “anybody here tonight from Chicago?” and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering

Homer’s like, “and there were forty black ships from… LOCRIS” and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts

lmtyl

@endocrine0

beggars-opera

The tailors at Colonial Williamsburg made a suit for their cat

vinceaddams

The best part is that they were inspired by a diary entry from 1775, written by a 12 year old tailor’s apprentice who had been left unsupervised all day and decided to make a suit for a cat. Here’s a link to the blog post about it, but I’ll just paste the whole diary entry here:

“I had been at work about two months when Christmas came on – and here I must relate a little anecdote. The principal [the tailor] and his lady were invited to a party among their friends…while it devolved on me to stay at home and keep house. There was nothing left me in charge to do, only to take care of the house. There was a large cat that generally lay about the fire. In order to try my mechanical powers, I concluded to make a suit of clothing for puss, and for my purpose gathered some scraps of cloth that lay about the shop-board, and went to work as hard as I could. Late in the evening I got my suit of clothes finished; I caught the cat, put on the whole suit – coat, vest, and small-clothes [breeches] – buttoned all on tight, and set down my cat to inspect the fit.

“Unfortunately for me there was a hole through the floor close to the fireplace, just large enough for the cat to pass down; after making some efforts to get rid of the clothes, and failing, pussy descended through the hole and disappeared; the floor was tight and the house underpinned with brick, so there was no chance of pursuit. I consoled myself with a hope that the cat would extricate itself from its incumbrance, but not so; night came and I had made on a good fire and seated myself for some two or three hours after dark, when who should make their appearance but my master and mistress and two young men, all in good humor, with two or three bottles of rum. After all were seated around the fire, who should appear amongst us but the cat in his uniform. I was struck speechless, the secret was out and had no chance of concealing; the cat was caught, the whole work inspected and the question asked, is this your day’s work? I was obliged to answer in the affirmative; I would then have been willing to take a good whipping, and let it stop there, but no, to complete my mortification the clothes were carefully taken off the cat and hung up in the shop for the inspection of all customers that came in.”

derinthescarletpescatarian

“I was hoping they’d beat me and forget about it but to my horror they stuck my work up on the fridge”

zackbuildit

Not just any fridge-

The public fridge

#cats #laugh rule #humans

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

krystal-prisms

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

gosh I enjoy this website

authoratmidnight

For comparison, this is a daffodil

quietlygrousing

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

maejacrezz007

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

blood-trip-god2

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

delphinidin4

This is a marigold:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

jmtorres

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

demon-and-human

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

⬆️ morning glory

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

badassdemonsword

You couldnt come up with a jollier name for a bird if you tried

minmos

this thang has one of my favorite ebird descriptions of all time

sigmaleph

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

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greelin

if you’ve been following me for 4+ years i’m certain you could make a chart of every character i’ve gotten attached to and it would tell you more about me than any therapist’s notes ever could. but we don’t have the time for that. there are other things at hand. do not even worry about it. next exhibit. we’re moving along. we’re walking

pukicho

You're probably the funniest person on Tumblr. Please never change.

Never? Not even for the better?

officially-bbc-news

Change for the worse

pukicho

You guys would prod me with spears through the bars of a metal cage for fun

shslfiend

Yeah we would lol

pukicho

lol

pangur-and-grim

he makes me so mad sometimes. no, I don't know how he got up there, and yes he was crying pitifully for rescue

pangur-and-grim

the number of times I say "motherfucker" per day has increased 100x since he entered my life

#cats #cats amirite #laugh rule

wired-for-weird

kinda sucks that all the 'don't wanna be a person any more' posts are sub-focussed. like, i too desperately want my brain to be switched off and No More Thoughts but i need it to be Everyone Else's Problem. I'm not a pet, I'm a dangerous predator in your house and you just took all the brakes off my appetite and conscience.

lmtyl

Like a werewolf?

sandmandaddy69

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balaclava-trismegistus

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

theehorsepusssy

#cats #laugh rule

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