person-shaped creäture

It was only legalized in 8 US states (the 8th only a few months before), and wouldn’t be legalized nation-wide until 2015.

It was only legal in TEN COUNTRIES in 2011. We wouldn’t hit 20 countries until 2017. (Australia was 23rd)

As of today (April 14, 2026), I believe only 38 countries have fully legalized same-sex marriage. Out of somewhere around 200 countries in the world. That’s only ~19% of countries.

Childbirth. It fucks up your hips SO FUCKING BAD. The connective tissue of your pelvis literally dissolves in order to allow you to widen your hips to push a small human out and even if it heals properly you're still going to have a lot of 'wear and tear' on the pubis, and striations on your ischial spine. Horror stuff.

Anyway. Our prof said that in those days there were so few women who DIDN'T give birth at some point in their lives that those marks on the pelvis are pretty much the first thing archaeologists look for. Ofc, there's also looking for skull shape, but that's a much less certain method. Even our prof with like a 40 year long and very illustrious career said in about 5% of individuals there is almost no way to tell with any certainty, if their skull is the only thing you have. Pelvis is the one surefire way to tell if it was an AFAB person capable of carrying a child to term.

So if you're MtF or FtM individual who never had a baby, and all that's left of you are bones with no grave goods, there is absolutely a team of archaeologists who will spend three days arguing over your gender.

They can tell how much calcium you got, if you were vegetarian, if you grew up on a mountain or in a valley, if you were a farmer or a noble, sometimes even how many older siblungs you had, just about every disease ever, how often you fucked (specific wear and tear on the head of the femour) very easily with a bit of practice. But sex? You need to consult the oracle in at least a quarter of the cases.

Suck (2009) - A small-time rock band gains popularity after their bassist gets turned into a vampire. Drugs, sex, and hilarity ensue.

Megamind - What happens when the villain wins? What happens when an alien supervillain falls in love with a reporter? How do you pack so much nuance and microexpression into an animated kids movie?

Stargate Atlantis - Spinoff of the Stargate SG-1 tv show, is both goofier and grittier than SG-1. Cast develops into a Found Family as they fight leather-clad alien vampires.

Farscape - Astronaut gets pulled into a wormhole and accidentally assists an alien prison break. Take everything I said about Stargate Atlantis is crank all the dials up to eleven. Featuring Jim Henson Co puppetry!

Better Off Dead (1985) - Self-destructive high school boy goes skiing and fixes an old car with the cute French exchange student. Except everything is surreal high-stakes and every character is nuts.

Leverage - One of the best shows on television. A rogue insurange agent, a grifter, a cat burglar, a hitman, and a hacker join forces to right the wrongs perpetrated by the rich and powerful. Very much a Found Family dynamic. Also these three end up in as much of a poly relationship as the network would allow at the time:

heya!

this right here?

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT REAL.

the "@staff" is just the bio text.

tumblr staff will not contact you through anything other than email or their official accounts, which will all have this badge:

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS OR SIMILAR ACCOUNTS AND ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CLICK ANY LINKS FROM IT.

report and block. i'd also appreciate it if you shared this post, bc that blog was JUST created and was already tagging a LOT of people, and i know not everyone has the scam-sensing instinct, even if this might seem obvious to some.

And poor Akari has to explain to Work Dad her boss that she'd gotten dumped and had hooked up with met an exciting stranger.

Lmao so I was actually just typing up some thoughts on how Gris gets in contact with Akari and Roz when you sent this. And as funny as it would be for Roz to interrogate his Work Daughter right-hand hunter about her "extracurriculars," I've been thinking about how to give the Vampire AU its own unique story. Obviously some character beats are gonna carry over but I don't want it to feel like it's just a repeat of the Rebound and/or Mer AU but with vampires.

Anyways I turned that over in my head for a bit and realized: What if, instead of Gris and Roz meeting and then finding out they're related, they meet because Roz found out he has a kid?

Basically: Gris and their crew drift into a new city to settle down for a bit (they don't stay in any one place for too long, lest they attract too much unwanted attention). Roz gets word that the infamous "Blood Demon" (or whatever Gris's nickname is) has settled down in his territory and dispatches some underlings to keep an eye on them. The more reports/updates he gets on Gris the more he feels like something is off here. Just a nagging feeling that this strange vampire is too much like him.

So he does some digging. Finds out Gris is the firstborn child of his ex. And does the mental math.

During the meeting, Roz keeps trying to ask about Aure indirectly, Akari is distracted by Gris being her type, Vale is also there and enjoying how unexpectedly weird this whole meeting between two big scary vampires ended up.