Apple Apple Apple

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

NOW IS HER TIME!!!!!!! where is SHE????

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

NO! Where’s the non-metals and metaloids?!

are they hydrogen or helium

oxygen, carbon, sulfur, xenon, iodine, neon, etc etc.

ooo okay i see the confusion. you're listing off a bunch of metals there

…. You’re breaking my chemistry nerd brain. Hhhuuuhhhh???

im an astrophysicist

but but, science is science?!

and different fields of science have different conventions and definitions for their unique contexts

The intersex tag has the flag on the like button too, stop excluding us :)

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

Sometimes you gotta just. Shove your face into the side of a soft round purring cat. (Having your cheek licked by the cat is recommended but not required.)

I hope the ocarina of time remake keeps that unskippable cutscene where king zora scoots over little by little for like 30 whole seconds while going “wee. wee. wee”

This is actually super cool from a media preservation stand point!!

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post