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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros
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will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
i don't do bad sauce passes

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taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
trying on a metaphor
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA
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@willcraftapple11

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i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,
sorry i had a vision and i just had to draw it
peak tumblr experience
Something I haven't seen many people talk about in PHM is the fact that Eridians probably don't have the same attitudes towards time as humans do. Think about it: Erid is an inherently dayless place, having an atmosphere that allows no light and thus no concept of day or night. We don't really think much about how our entire lives are structured around this cycle that Earth life has been experiencing for eons. Erid life has no concept of this at all. Eridian sleep schedules are somewhat irregular and not synced to each other (they can't be, not if someone always stays awake to watch). They don't track birthdays like we do, they can't unless they're paying attention to their solar cycle, which I'd expect is a relatively new thing for their culture. Maybe they base age on their near-perfect memories or how many layers their carapace has or how big they are, or experiences/accomplishments. They may have an idea of an Eridian year, if their planet has seasons or something like that, but I doubt it has a whole lot of importance to them.
I'd image having an alien who relies so heavily on cycles and repeated patterns in order to function normally would be mind-boggling to the Eridians. What do you mean it celebrates the exact day of its birth every so often, just because? Wait we need to program a reliable change in light levels to simulate its planet, which has almost no atmosphere? And we have to schedule any interactions we have with it around this cycle? Wait it tracks its age by the scientific year, not by life experience and physical aging?
Constantly being reminded that this guy Rocky brought home that saved their entire planet is, in fact, a complete alien.
#getting a piece of equipment set up to go deliver to the alien and you can tell from its biodome data that it's awake and active #only to be told by your planet's saviour “no grace is experiencing a subjective 'one ey em' right now #and would feel frightened if you approached his living space soon. you have to wait about thirty thousand seconds.“ #you're like. “is it doing something private?” “no. judging by energy use I think he's observing audiovisual entertainment.” #“then why can't I communicate with it” “because” <- peer review passed
but fr your partner hating your pet is such a red flag and I’m tired of everyone pretending it is not. there is a difference between your partner not being a dog person but tolerating and eventually loving your dog and your partner demanding you get rid of your dog to prove you love them. someone hating and being jealous of the affection you show a pet is a sign to fucking run. so many animals end up in the crossfires of domestic violence scenarios, the abuser may not have initially hated the pet but began hurting it as an extension of their victim, so if your partner is openly displaying contempt towards your pet, RUN.
Tbh, as a pet owner, if I started seeing someone and I really, really, really couldn’t get on with their pet (like it was a loud, obnoxious, large dog that could not stand to be alone and chewed through drywall) I’d just break up with them. That’s a much more mature reaction to that situation than giving them an ultimatum to get rid of it or mistreating the animal. I wouldn’t want to live with your pet, it’s not fair to ask you to live without your pet and your pet to live without you, that’s a personally reasonable reason to admit we’d be incompatible and break up.

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a lot of rpf can be explained by the fact that actors are all like that with each other constantly but i never want to say that on here because it feels like telling a 7-year-old santa isn’t real
actors hanging off of each other constantly isn’t a sign that they’re fucking it’s a sign that they were once in a BFA program and never relearned normal boundaries. when actors are fucking and it’s complicated they won’t even stand in the same room with each other.
loveeee characters who think they're likable but not lovable. characters who know they have surface-level admirable or alluring traits and so make sure to highlight those traits so that nobody looks closer to see what's underneath. characters who know they're hot or clever or cool and use that as a suit of armor so that no one ever gets close to them, because when they strip bare and show their vulnerability they're not any of those things, which means they have nothing left to make up for who they inherently are
steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower
Reminder to all bitches: if they're coming to kill you, make them bring their own shovels. To me that's what voting is about, that's what living is about, that's what stubbornly persisting is about. For a lot of us world is full of people who want to bury you and to despair is to make it that much easier on them to get you in the ground. Fuck em! Don't just sit there. Don't just cooperate. Don't just wisely pontificate about how inevitable your doom is. If anyone is coming to Get You then damn well make them sweat for it.
Dex Reseacher Meowth
comic that makes you say poipole out loud in meowth voice

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This is a reminder for anyone in the Project Hail Mary fandom
Ryland Grace swears in the book exactly one (1) time and it's when he sees Rocky's ship
its kind of distressing how you can tell a lot of people see popular indie artists and writers and such as like "a Celebrity but one which i stand a half decent chance of bullying to death"
And if I said Megamind is one of the few movies that understands Superman.
And if I said Megamind through its three subversions of Superman shows a deeper understanding that the point of Superman is that he was loved and taught to love by good, present parents, and because of that he is able to return that love to a world even if it doesn't always accept it, and he is not corrupted by his power, than many other films either subverting or playing the superman story straight.
Megamind has three Superman subversions. One is obviously Megamind himself. He was not raised loved by the world, but rather was loved by those hated by the world. Because he was still raised with love, he does care about other people, hence his character development. But because he didn't receive wider love growing up, his own is misplaced at first.
Metro Man was not loved growing up in a way that mattered. His adopted father was clearly very absent, and while we don't know much about his family, their relationship seems superficial. Because of this, his sense of duty to the world is also superficial, hence his boredom.
Hal wasn't raised with power. He gained it and was shown how to use it by a 'space dad' who only taught him power and not love. Hence, he sees it only as a grasping means to an end.
All three of these subversions, in their negative space, create the silhouette of the superhero that they are parodying. That silhouette is of a space child that came to earth and was cared for very deeply by the world, and taught love through his experience of love, and because of that holds fast to his duty to the world. Which is Superman.
Being aromantic while liking romantic media is like sitting in the greatest cuck chair of all time. A cuck throne, if you will. Guards! Make them kiss! 🫵 and leave me out of it
the nosebleed seats are the most comfortable cuck chair of all time
BloodyMary where Simon wakes up on the Hail Mary before Grace.
Like, the universe blinks and some space/time phenomenon runs afoul of Simon's elder god moment and the next thing he knows, he's waking up inside some kind of space ship(?) that appears to be running on autopilot.
It's weird and the tech looks both dated and brand new, expensive and advanced but also extremely retro, like someone using a diamond-encrusted rotary phone to check their emails. Luckily it's all mostly in language that Simon can comprehend, unluckily a lot of the equipment still seems like it would require several degrees of expertise to operate. But eventually Simon figures out enough to find the ship's crew, and... it's not looking good for them.
Two of them are dead. Have been for a while. Whatever stasis system(?) they have has preserved the corpses pretty well, but it's past the point of being able to try and revive them. The other is still alive, but Simon's not sure how to safely wake him up or what to do if that starts to change. He decides to just keep an eye on the situation, presumably there's a system that will wake the guy up whenever the ship reaches its destination, and if he starts to look bad before that point then Simon can always try to manually revive him and hope for the best.
Anyway, the ship has medicine and supplies, which he desperately needs. He figures the other two crewmen weren't planning on dying, so they can probably spare enough of said supplies for him. He figures out the AI well enough to start asking questions and eventually puts together that he's time traveled(?) or crossed into another dimension, that this ship is on a mission to figure out why the stars are going dim, or rather why there's one star that isn't, and he's not sure what to make of it but it seems he's also landed on another one-way trip.
When Grace wakes up, confused and without his memories, Simon panics and because Grace assumes he must've been part of the crew he just... goes with that. Grace thinks that he woke up from stasis early and that his weirdness is a result of isolation. He's a little surprised that there's an amputee aboard but it would be insensitive to ask, right? Not that a one-armed guy can't be an astronaut, yeah? Although Simon is also weirdly cagey about what his specialty is supposed to be and seems vague on the mission too, Grace assumes his memory also suffered some kind of an issue from being in stasis, he's just glad he's not alone.
Then they run into Blip-A and they're even more not alone, Rocky moves in, everyone does science, Simon still doesn't really seem to have an area of expertise per se, Grace keeps waiting to remember the part where Simon joined the mission (he's sure he'd remember him), Simon's kind of sweating bullets still wondering how he's supposed to explain anything, and then the whole fishing trip on Adrian goes pear-shaped and Simon uses like. Eldritch blood magic...?
Grace is having trouble computing that but he definitely saw it. So. Guess that explains why he's on the mission, if someone found a literal space wizard they would want them on the Mankind-saving mission, if ever there was a time for some kind of secret cult society of wizards living under the radar to come out in the open it would be now, yeah. But Grace can also see where explaining that to an amnesiac would be awkward and seem too hard to believe.
He has connected the dots!
Anyway he doesn't really notice that his Simon Joins the Mission and Reveals Wizards memories never arrive, he's too distracted by the revelation that Stratt forced him to go on the mission and he didn't volunteer, and then there's the whole issue with the taumoeba breaking containment and turning back to rescue Rocky and save Erid, which they both agree to do. By that point Simon has established himself as a presence in Grace's mind and Grace no longer considers him that much of a mystery to be solved (Simon's abilities are, Simon himself is not), whenever Simon lets slip something about like, competing for food or being in prison or in a cult, Grace just assumes he himself was pretty sheltered from how bad the situation on Earth was getting due to being in the Project Hail Mary bubble, and is like yeah okay Stratt double fair play to you, I didn't realize it was getting quite so Mad Max out there.
Now up until this point, Simon has done a good job of staying out of Grace's logs. Grace has mentioned him but in such a way that everyone on Earth probably thinks he's hallucinated an imaginary friend in the isolation and stress, like well damn he's cracked but at least the science seems sound.
Yes sure Dr Ryland Grace, your good friend Simon the One-Armed Blood Wizard is up there with you and the aliens, and for that matter so are all of us in spirit. Godspeed and thank you for your noble sacrifice.
Grace himself thinks that Simon is making his own reports, but when they go to send the beetles he's like, no we should do one together to make it clear that we're both agreeing to this and have come to this decision as a team. At which point Simon is just like, well... okay? Still just kind of avoiding conflict by going with the path of least resistance. So he smiles and nods and waves at the camera, and is like Hello Earth, Simon the One-Armed Blood Wizard here. Um. Yeah I'm good with going back to save Rocky and Erid too. Best wishes, and all that.
Grace doesn't find out until they're on Erid and they get the first long distance transmission from Earth that essentially amounts to him discovering that not only did he make first contact with aliens, he also made first contact with interdimensional blood wizards.

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I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.
I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.
For once I can be of assistance.
Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.
"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"
Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV
"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"
House of the Rising Sun
"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"
Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys
"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."
FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite
And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.
Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)
this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.
in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.
the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.
but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.