So much love.

i do think a lot of implausible medieval plot devices make more sense when considering the fact that these people simply did not have glasses

like the king arthur problem of how were these people always accidentally sleeping with the wrong person? well 1) no glasses 2) no lights and candles are so expensive 3) royal couples didn’t even sleep in the same bed a lot of the time anyway 4) arranged marriage how much do you really know your spouse anyway? maybe not very well a lot of the time 5) people are drinking a lot idk. maybe not as absurd as one might think

this post is brought to you by the one time i woke up at a sleepover and realized that without my glasses i could not distinguish one friend from the other. haunting. all of arthurian literature was unlocked to me at that moment

This very much applies to Shakespeare (I think we all underestimate how extremely dark it was in the past)

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

Bro what the fuck did they do to Neil Josten

Read the comic here

🥭🥭🥭🥭🥭

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

I imagine rocky puts grace's amnesia problems down as a "probably normal for humans, they forget stuff all the time" thing for a while and it doesn't set in until maybe a year into the erid trip that, no, losing straight up All of your memories for several months is just about as concerning and unusual for a human as it would be for an eridian. and his immediate reaction is twofold: 1. "you. you were that brain-unhealthy for the entire time we were working together and you just. barely ever mentioned it? Why. Question." 2. [sudden recollection of every time he got short of temper and said something bitchy like "lazy human not know how own ship function" or "how grace forget location of basic controls question"] [curls up on the floor in embarrassment] "should have said something so I not spend two months making fun of brain injuryyy"

GREAT NEWS check out the post! they found their potato!!!

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

its fun to remember we can use the big text if we want. bonjour motherfuckers. i'm posting loud as hell now.

She was trying to look behind the counter where we keep Gold Jewelry and Gucci Purses for pokemon cards

Apparently I should've tagged this 'rapture' or something

People who haven't seen Madoka Magica might not know this, but both the characters Mami and Homura are magical girls who use guns as weapons. But while Mami's gun are magical, Homura's are literally just normal guns she stole from the government.

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.