Study Study

e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.

I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.

This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.

Okay, you tell me. How do I make irrational decisions make sense? Well, my friend, you’re asking the wrong question. The question isn’t “does it make sense for them to do this?” but rather “what emotionally would drive them to do this?” And it’s especially good to work backwards from that: “what could their current emotions drive them to do?”

For example, don’t just say “my character would never yell at [x character],” but rather consider what situation or emotions might drive that character to yell at [x], even if it’s “out of character” for them.

****

****

Which is about people wanting an AO3 app, but then it became large and way off topic, so here you go.

Nobody under the age of 20 knows how to use a computer or the internet. At all. They only know how to use apps. Their whole lives are in their phones or *maybe* a tablet/iPad if they're an artist. This is becoming a huge concern.

I'm a private tutor for middle- and high-school students, and since 2020 my business has been 100% virtual. Either the student's on a tablet, which comes with its own series of problems for screen-sharing and file access, or they're on mom's or dad's computer, and they have zero understanding of it.

They also don't know what the internet is, or even the absolute basics of how it works. You might not think that's an important thing to know, but stick with me.

Last week I accepted a new student. The first session is always about the tech -- I tell them this in advance, that they'll have to set up a few things, but once we're set up, we'll be good to go. They all say the same thing -- it won't be a problem because they're so "online" that they get technology easily.

I never laugh in their faces, but it's always a close thing. Because they are expecting an app. They are not expecting to be shown how little they actually know about tech.

I must say up front: this story is not an outlier. This is *every* student during their first session with me. Every single one. I go through this with each of them because most of them learn more, and more solidly, via discussion and discovery rather than direct instruction.

Once she logged in, I asked her to click on the icon for screen-sharing. I described the icon, then started with "Okay, move your mouse to the bottom right corner of the screen." She did the thing that those of us who are old enough to remember the beginnings of widespread home computers remember - picked up the mouse and moved it and then put it down. I explained she had to pull the mouse along the surface, and then click on the icon. She found this cumbersome. I asked if she was on a laptop or desktop computer. She didn't know what I meant. I asked if the computer screen was connected to the keyboard as one piece of machinery that you can open and close, or if there was a monitor - like a TV - and the keyboard was connected to another machine either by cord or by Bluetooth. Once we figured it out was a laptop, I asked her if she could use the touchpad, because it's similar (though not equivalent) to a phone screen in terms of touching clicking and dragging.

Once we got her using the touchpad, we tried screen-sharing again. We got it working, to an extent, but she was having trouble with... lots of things. I asked if she could email me a download or a photo of her homework instead, and we could both have a copy, and talk through it rather than put it on the screen, and we'd worry about learning more tech another day. She said she tried, but her email blocked her from sending anything to me.

This is because the only email address she has is for school, and she never uses email for any other purpose. I asked if her mom or dad could email it to me. They weren't home.

(Re: school email that blocks any emails not whitelisted by the school: that's great for kids as are all parental controls for young ones, but 16-year-olds really should be getting used to using an email that belongs to them, not an institution.)

I asked if the homework was on a paper handout, or in a book, or on the computer. She said it was on the computer. Great! I asked her where it was saved. She didn't know. I asked her to search for the name of the file. She said she already did that and now it was on her screen. Then, she said to me: "You can just search for it yourself - it's Chapter 5, page 11."

This is because homework is on the school's website, in her math class's homework section, which is where she searched. For her, that was "searching the internet."

Her concepts of "on my computer" "on the internet" or "on my school's website" are all the same thing. If something is displayed on the monitor, it's "on the internet" and "on my phone/tablet/computer" and "on the school's website."

She doesn't understand "upload" or "download," because she does her homework on the school's website and hits a "submit" button when she's done. I asked her how she shares photos and stuff with friends; she said she posts to Snapchat or TikTok, or she AirDrops. (She said she sometimes uses Insta, though she said Insta is more "for old people"). So in her world, there's a button for "post" or "share," and that's how you put things on "the internet".

She doesn't know how it works. None of it. And she doesn't know how to use it, either.

Also, none of them can type. Not a one. They don't want to learn how, because "everything is on my phone."

I also say “thanks for the update” or “thanks for the head’s up!”

“I really appreciate the head’s up!” also a classic

If I haven’t gotten back to someone in a swift enough period (i.e. one work day max) I say “thank you for your patience. after some consideration, I have decided…”

don’t apologize for piddly things! 

Thank you for waiting for me > sorry for being late

Thank you for helping me/for your time/for listening to me > sorry for bothering you

Thanking someone when they do you a favour > apologizing for your existence

a lot of these kids don't know what a "folder" is. some of them don't even know how to right click. I asked my class to put a folder on their desktop and half of the students did not know how. these are like, 11-13 year olds who's parents thought they were tech literate enough to sign them up for a programming class. most of them did not know how to add a bookmark on their browser. most of them could not touch type.

basic computer literacy is evaporating because everyone does everything on their phone now, but schools are getting rid of any computer classes because "all the kids are using computers all the time anyways!"

This article is almost 10 years old.

A kid puts her hand up in my lesson. 'My computer won't switch on,' she says, with the air of desperation that implies she's tried every conceivable way of making the thing work. I reach forward and switch on the monitor, and the screen flickers to life, displaying the Windows login screen.

This one's newer, just over 2 years old.

More broadly, directory structure connotes physical placement — the idea that a file stored on a computer is located somewhere on that computer, in a specific and discrete location. That’s a concept that’s always felt obvious to Garland but seems completely alien to her students. “I tend to think an item lives in a particular folder. It lives in one place, and I have to go to that folder to find it,” Garland says. “They see it like one bucket, and everything’s in the bucket.”

Schools are demanding kids as young as 5 or 6 use computers - and nobody is teaching computer basics. Nobody is teaching the names of the computer components (monitor, hard drive, cpu, ram); nobody is teaching what the parts do; nobody is teaching what "apps" are (...we used to call them "programs") or how files work.

Of course Adobe is very happy that people will say "I'm using Adobe" because nobody remembers the name "Acrobat Reader." Adobe is thrilled that most people don't know that PDFs are a filetype that can be opened or edited by many different programs.

Typing, as far as I can tell, is taught less than it was when I was in high school - in a country where everyone is expected to spend many hours a week on a keyboard.

(When I applied for college at the for-profit scammy school where I got my paralegal degree, I tested out of their basic typing class. The class's goal was 40wpm; I type at more than double that speed. The counselor assigned to me said she'd never seen typing that fast. I have no idea if she was lying to try to boost my ego or was just really oblivious.) (If she was trying to boost my ego, she failed. I know what secretarial typing speeds are. Mine is mediocre.)

If I were more geekish and had formal education training, I'd try to put together a series of Basic Computer Literacy courses for schoolkids - a set for ages 5-8, another for 9-12 year olds, and a third set for teenagers.

Start with parts of the computer - and how they look different in desktops, laptops, tablets, phones.

Move on to OS: Windows, Mac, IOS, Android, Linux, and a hint of others. (Throw in a mention of game consoles and how their OS is and isn't like a standard computer OS.)

A bit of mention of OS types/versions - WinXP and Win10, and so on. A bit of what commonly changes from one version to the next, and what doesn't.

These are the starting points, not because they're the core of How Computers Work, but because they're the parts everyone interacts with. The 8-year-old doesn't specifically need to know Linux exists... but they need to know there's a DIFFERENCE between a Windows 11 new laptop and a desktop running something else. Needs to know that not all "Android" phones work the same way. Needs to know, when they open a new device, that it has an OS, and there are ways to figure out what that OS is.

Next there is:

Files, folders, internal structure - and how the tablet/phone OS tends to hide this from you

The difference between the app/program and the stuff it opens/edits

That the same file can look different in a different app

Welcome To The Internet: The difference between YOUR COMPUTER and THE CLOUD (aka, "someone else's computer") as a storage place; what a browser is; what a search engine is

Welcome To Metadata I Am So Sorry Kiddo Your Life Is Full Of Keywords Now And Forever

Computer Operations Skills: Typing. Hardware Assembly, aka, how to attach an ethernet cable, is the monitor turned on, what's the battery level and its capacity. Software-Hardware interfaces: how to find the speaker settings, dim or brighten the monitor, sleep vs power off, using keyboard shortcuts instead of the mouse.

After alllll that, we get to

Command line: This is what a terminal looks like; this is what you can do with it; no you don't have to program anything (ever) but you really should know how to make it show you your IP address. (See above: Welcome to the Internet should have covered "what is an IP address?")

Internet safety. What is a virus; what's malware. How to avoid (most of) them.

SOCIAL internet safety: DO NOT TELL ANYONE your age, real name, location. Do not tell strangers your sexual identity, medical history, family details, or anything about any crimes you may have committed.

so, let’s see if i can explain this the same way that i learned. read a sentence out loud. you come to a full stop when you hit the period, and you take a normal, breath. but, when you hit a comma, you take a slightly longer pause. and when you hit a dash - you take an even longer pause. 

this is a natural rhythm that we pick up when we’re first taught to read; we do it without even thinking. but when you start to think about it, you realize that it can become a tool.

think of your heartbeat. a period is badump. a comma is badump-dump. and a dash is thump badump. one breath. a longer breath. two breaths.

that means what you read automatically affects the rhythm of your breathing and your heartrate. which means that you can control the amount of physical tension your reader feels… by altering your punction and your sentence structure.

for fast paced scenes, you use short sentences. a lot of hard stops. mostly periods, with just a few comma’s thrown in for the full breath. your reader’s heartrate accelerates. their breathing is slightly and unintentionally, on their end, quicker. you hit the dramatic ending of the scene - and your reader’s body phsyically feels the gasp, the breath of fresh air, of these longer sentences.

now, read that paragraph again ant take note of your natural pauses, and how it subtly affects your breathing. 

the same thing can be said of comma’s and dashes. while they can be used as a breath of fresh air, they can also cause a new line of tension as they lead your reader to hold their breath. during this section, you should use longer sentences; breaking up the harshness of the pauses by using variations of punction. read this paragraph out loud from the start and take note of how long you go between pauses and full breaths. 

and then, comes the biggest trick.

the hard stop.

the paragraph.

because while the periods, commas, and dashes are variations on a short stop, the paragraph is a hard stop. you take a full breath. you pause for a moment, then move to the start of the next paragraph.

which means you can create an entirely new sort of dramatic tension. read the sentences that are in bold. see how you take a naturally longer pause at the end of each paragraph?

see how it makes you feel? 

how it makes you breath different? 

how doing it once, twice, or three times creates a different line of tension? 

this little magic trick can be used to cause a reader’s heartrate to speed up during a fight or chase scene. it can be used to cause their breathing to slow down during moments of dramatic tension, sorrow, or softness. and it can be used to create hard breaks that add a new level of physically felt emphasis to your written work.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me: format?

New girl: yeah what do I do?

Me: you… put the usb in. Then you make a new folder on it and rename it with (name, date, location)

New girl: but how do I do that?

There’s a lot of assumed technical literacy because we had a whole generation brought up on desktop computers, but now it’s one that was brought up on phones, tablets, and chromebooks. Phones are easier to use, but that means the users have never had to work around the daily problems presented by most desktop environments.

Much of the back-end architecture will soon be more difficult to maintain, as those with the expertise retire or when the one guy volunteering to update a niche corner of some minute software function that holds up ¼ of the computer world dies.

While products are made to be “easier to use” now, which has made them more accessible, they aren’t made to last, contributing to tech pollution / e-waste. Many consumers don’t know how to upgrade or repair their own tech…if they are upgradeable.

Which brings me to my next point.

I bought a new low end laptop recently. Not chrome book, but actual Windows PC laptop. I haven’t had a personal computer for a while and with a lot of expectation to “return to the office” because COVID’s over, right? *heavy eye roll*, I wanted something cheap and portable. I found a deal because a lot of low end laptops are being discounted because school children aren’t remote now. I was actually looking for refurbished but found what I wanted cheaper new, sadly.

Finding one that I knew would run the software I needed or that wouldn’t be bogged down just with Windows? A challenge. You’ve got to know what RAM, HDD vs eMMC vs SSD, cores, age of processors, and all those specs mean.

Finding one that wasn’t Windows in “S mode,” a bullshit mode that locks you into the Windows app / store for ALL software (where they take a cut of each purchase)? Even more challenging.

When I booted it up…I imagine most people just click yes through things because why not, just want to get right to it, right?

The amount of privileges I had to decline because of targeted data collection, for ad preferences and other nefarious reasons; the number of easy-to-miss “no thanks” options to decline enrollment in bloatware; the number of things that wanted me to launch the free trial, where they could automatically enroll me into a monthly PAID subscription and could report failure to add a credit card to pay for it to credit agencies (!); many of these presented as the “recommended” or default option… ASTOUNDING.

And then I still had to go into system settings and turn off additional data tracking that they didn’t even present during set-up, along with bloatware bullshit programs they wanted to always run at start-up. Because I knew where to go and find that stuff. Don’t even get me starting on fucking Cortana.

Technology has gotten bad. Even 10 years ago, it was a couple simple agreements not to pirate, using software at your own risk, etc. and that was it.

Now? Waiving rights, arbitration, hidden terms that could leave you owing money if you don’t uninstall it, data collection to link accounts and literally track every move / your exact location / your usage, attempts to personalize ads through your specific searches, inability to block cookies unless you download a Google app!?, four pop ups for every website, as the default?

It is scary how much tech that was designed to increase productivity and make life easier has become yet another way for corporations to track us, sell to us, and sell their data on us, even potentially incriminating us.

Oh, and heaven forbid you know what you’re doing and try to upgrade or repair your equipment yourself. Warranty voiding? Should be illegal, may be illegal in some areas, but they still tell you it’ll void your warranty. Good luck finding the parts. Using non-OEM parts will void the warranty too…by design.

Windows Vista era to

deal with this bullshit.

General basic safety

How to avoid ransomware, malware, hacks, and how to maintain good data privacy.

https://www.getsafeonline.org/

^ this has intermediate information (as well as beginner info) that I think people who grew up on the internet benefit most from (so it won’t tell you what a phone is, or how to press the power button to turn on a computer). I recommend all sections the personal section under the top drop down (except the one aimed at children).

https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/internetsafety/

Same deal as above, with quizzes and additional topics.

https://www.digitalliteracyassessment.org/

^ this one is mostly video and audio which some people might helpful

HTML

https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp

W3schools is a well known free resource for coding. I recommend HTML because it gives basic website building capabilities, so you can create a neocities website for example or even edit your Tumblr theme. You can also learn CSS (used with HTML to make prettier websites) and Python (used to make programs).

Touch typing

Touch typing is using the home row on keyboards. It allows people to type faster than pressing individual keys one at a time, like on a smart phone.

https://www.typingclub.com/

This site has lessons, and honestly looks much nicer than the program I learned to use touch typing with.

https://www.how-to-type.com/touch-typing-lessons/how-to-type-home-keys/

This site has lessons and practice tests and speed tests to measure progress. In middle school I was taking a practice test about three times a week and a speed test once a week for about fifteen minutes each time, if that helps.

—

These three areas are the main things people were taught in computer literacy courses.

I also recommend checking your local library or other educational resources (like local colleges, your current college/highschool/middle school etc, the college you graduated from). These can have in person instructors which can be super helpful. Feel free to send me any questions and stuff, if I don’t already know I’ll try to find out and share where I found it!

Helpful things I’ve done with my windows computer to make it safer/more efficient:

Installing Malwarebytes/enabling windows defender

Creating a backup of my computer on a hard drive

Setting permissions for apps to start on startup

Getting a password manager

Installing a web browser that isn’t chrome

Changing old passwords into better, more secure passwords- especially websites that have debit card info

Remember these dates. #StudentLoans

But all of my problems are actually so fixable.

My mom is out of town and asked me to take out her trash. I forgot. And when I remembered I had two seconds of freaking out before I put together a plan: I got two big plastic boxes, loaded her trash into the trunk of my car, and threw it out in my apartment complex’s dumpster. The only bad thing that happened is I had a small leak into one of the boxes, and I’ve already got that soaking with bleach in my tub. FIXING my terrible ADHD mistake took less effort than doing it properly and you are the only people who will know.

SO many ADHD kids that go undiagnosed because they’re “gifted” or fly under the radar crash and burn in college. So many crash and burn trying to hold down a stable job.

This isn’t mean to be doom and gloom, it’s meant as an admonishment to parents and teachers and administrators and therapists and all other adults: if you see a child who is struggling and you do not give them coping techniques; if you do not teach them a different way to accomplish the task, or if you don’t encourage them to think up ways that work for them, you are setting that child up for failure.

I’ve had to do so much work just to stay afloat as an ADHD adult. It’s hard. Sometimes it feels impossibly hard. But I just keep trying to stick with the tricks I know work; to try out new ones, and if something is novel and works for a bit, great!! If the novelty wears off and the coping technique stops working, that’s normal for ADHD too. You are not FAILING if the thing that worked for two weeks suddenly isn’t working anymore. We thrive off novelty, period.

Never. Fucking. Worked. 

I’d do shit like walk around the neighborhood for two hours in winter rather than admit that my keys were lost again. And even when I could keep track of my keys, it was a constant drain of executive function points that I could have been spending on things like homework.

scared to use the oven in case he forgets to turn it off: ovens can stay on for a while. i’m never gone so long i wouldn’t notice and turn it off myself.

scared to forget to lock the door: who cares? we don’t have anything valuable anyone would want to steal, and they did, a locked door wouldn’t stop them.

scared to park in the garage in case he hits either wall and damages the property: yeah that would definitely suck but 1) he’ll get a scratch on his car, whoopdeedo, and 2) a garage door can be fixed. it might cost money but whatever. mistakes happen. all you can do is fix them.

scared to forget his laundry in the washer (which he’s done several times now): just wash it again. 

scared to forget his meds before work: i bought him a little med bottle for his keychain so he can take a couple spares with him.

scared to forget something i asked him to do: i’ll remind him or, better yet, we’ll do it together.

scared to leave something out in the kitchen: ?? ??? i will put it away.