Gadianton's Robbers And Murderers Inc.

i like: conflict, kink, thoughtful things. i don't like: straight fluff

before swallowing by yankingawry (nc-17, 2k) post-cottage, mommy kink

Shane watched Ilya tilt his head back and drop some peanuts into his mouth. He gave them all of two chews before swallowing. The totally indigestible peanuts travelled down the line of his beautiful speckled throat. The man was begging for chronic reflux. 

wait by waxing__crescent (nc-17, 2.5k) ep 4, sickness

Jane: No problem again, sorry. I’ll see you in a few months.

ajdustments by sheepknitssweater (nc-17, 2.8k) hookup era, injury

Shane had been sucking Rozanov’s mostly soft dick for between six and eight minutes. Since all the most important moments of Shane’s life were timed, he had a good internal clock. He was pretty sure it had been eight minutes.

call me by your name (tell me you love me in private) by anonymous (nc-17, 3k) hookup era, feminization, D/s

ilya gets shane to wear a ROZANOV jersey. that’s it, that’s the fic.

too nice by toomuchplor (nc-17, 3k) hookup era

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. ~ Leo Tolstoy

in the sound of bells by villavona (nc-17, 3k) ❤️ ep 2

Shane texts him his second day in Sochi, after the Opening Ceremony is over and the sports are beginning. Are you staying in the Village? he asks. Capitalization, proper grammar. Innocuous. Nyet, Ilya texts back. Here in his country Shane can learn a little Russian. Latin alphabet, he can be generous.

icarus by garagepaperback (nc-17, 3.6k) hookup era, butt plug

It wont come out. Ilya is one of the last left in the locker room. Gear half-stripped, gloves off but he’s still clumsy wrestling with his phone on the bench. What do u mean

hold a cut inside by dinosaur (nc-17, 4k) hookup era, painplay, masochism

It's the Metros' season; Shane knows it. And no matter how many hits he takes, Shane's always been good at getting back on the ice. Letting Ilya Rozanov touch his bruised body when he comes off the ice doesn't change anything. It can't; Shane knows that, too.

penalties by citrusses (nc-17, 5k) ♥️ ep 4 divergent, infidelity

Ilya is married. Still, old habits die hard.

coach, i'm threading needles by anonymous (nc-17, 6k) hookup era

Ilya fucks a girl in a Hollander jersey. Word gets back to Shane.

tender parts by mcshrug (nc-17, 7k) ♥️ D/s, touch starved

Shane isn't used to people touching him. Then he meets Ilya Rozanov.

real love makes your lungs black by anonymous (nc-17, 8k) ♥️ getting together, smoking

If Shane had had a good, close friend, a confidante, somebody he could talk to about whatever was happening between him and Ilya Rozanov, and that good close friend got it in their head that maybe Shane liked Ilya, had feelings for him, one of the first things Shane would say to refute it would be: but he smokes.

pretty boy by mcshrug (nc-17, 9.5k) hookup era, crossdressing

Dressing up for Ilya takes Shane about a mile out of his comfort zone. Good thing he’s not a chicken.

bite hard by mcshrug (nc-17, 16k) hookup era, biting, spit

Shane finds out he likes it when Ilya bites him. It’s possible he likes it a little too much.

for a split sec, i was a train wreck by anonymous (nc-17, 19k) ♥️ hookup era, injury

Restaurants. Public eating. WHAT THE F-?!?!

Hair. Specifically head hair. No problem with the hair on the body, that's used for insulation that makes sense but you're telling an Eridian that there's dead protein growing out of your head and you style it for social purposes?

Pets. What mean keep small predator in home, question? WHAT MEAN CUTE, QUESTION? Probably big fascination with cats.

Blushing. How ineffective? Why would visibly changing color help any sort of situation? Rocky believes it to hinder a lot of 'mating appeal'.

Goosebumps. Why body react that way, question? What mean could be emotional, temperature, or fear, question?! WHICH IS IT, QUESTION?

Snacks. Why are you eating outside of designated meal times? Makes no sense? Oh, you're eating because you're bored. Still. Makes no sense. Find something else to do, something more effective. Also. Super disgust.

A rainbow. Pretty self explanatory. The colors on the visible spectrum, the colors undetectable by the human eye. The formation??? Amaze, amaze, amaze.

Glasses. Personal to Grace. Probably really confused Rocky for a while. Like uhhhhhhhh what do you mean you need a physical aid to help you see? Why did Humans evolve like that?

A phone. A computer already excites Rocky. Imagine explaining to him that there's a portable device that fits in your pocket that holds the entirety of the internet and knowledge for access at your fingertips.

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"

A comic for the end of summer 🍃🍂

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

Pictures of them kissing are all over the internet and Ilya just responds with the gif of him kissing Shane’s helmet at All Stars and “Guess this was an 'intimate moment', too. 🙄🙄🙄”

They’re filmed leaving an event together and Shane’s asked about it in an interview and looks really convincingly confused, saying “Yes, I left at the same time as he did. The event ended. Everyone was leaving.”

Pictures leak from their wedding with them exchanging vows, and the statement the next day says “Ilya Rozanov and I attended a charity event last weekend where we had a polite conversation. These pictures have been taken out of context.”

Someone releases some government forms and it shows they live together, and they just straight up say the images are doctored.

doughnut home

$535,000 / 4 br / 2 ba

North Bend, OR

Built in 1908

[househunting on ig]