It's defective! Send it back.

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

imagine if aliens found the dead body of a human being exploded in the vacuum of space and they started making fun of the mutilated corpse calling it “splatter alien” and saying it was the ugliest alien in the whole galexy. and then made stuffed animals of it to sell to their alien kids. that’s what happened on this planet to the blob fish

still a bit of a weird looking cunt if I'm being fully honest.

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

"rise and grind" okay uhhh rest and jest. bitch

I hate hate HATE that I require so much reassurance like things could be going perfectly fine but there’s always a part of me that believes that all of it is a lie

There's literally nothing better about something that just makes an entire room laugh harder and harder with every moment. No words, no explinations, no one talking, just pure laughter.

Gumby did not say that

he said this you son of a bitch

you cannot be putting two white guys with the same haircolor in the same movie how am i fuckin supposed to tell whos who what is this spot the difference

You have to give them costumes that signify who is who.  Like Jacket and Sweater in Pacific Rim.

does anyone else get mischievous joy out of being nice sometimes? like “Haha, I knew you were going to be hungry so I got you your favorite food so I can surprise you with it being ready when you get here GOT YOU”

#YES!! #its like. it feels like scheming #but love scheming… #the scheme is i want u to be happy (via @calmdownthehawk)

"amab or afab" im alab experiment that went wrong