🥔

seeing girls faces after i lift them into my arms and hearing them say no one’s done that before makes hitting the gym so worth it. i wanna make every single girl over 6 ft tall feel like a precious little princess because you all are. i love you. i do all of this for you.

hi my name is dark yagami and my goal is to give birth to billions of people

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

kid at work threw a huge temper tantrum flailing on the floor then stood up and immediately sang crank that by soulja boy perfectly

Stardew valley is problematic because it forces you to have an outside cat in a threatened woodland environment

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

youd think youd run out of things to say about a tv show