Onward!

Bro I just nearly fucking died

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

I can never leave here

what’s the mood for july?

tumblr users really have the gall to send you some google doc about a woman you don't even know and going "what?! you won't publicly shun her with me?! you don't trust me, an internet stranger meticulously documenting everything this woman who in all likelihood you'll never meet in your life does??"

of course as mentioned in previous posts and reblogs it doesn't even matter if she did do all that bc what the fuck do you want me to do about it? make sure she's socially isolated for life? but the audacity of just linking you the doc and expecting you to automatically agree because everyone loves to hunt down a trans woman is also perplexing. you're not my fucking friend! i'm not gonna put your glorified gossip above her life!

this whole thing is obviously 99.9999999999999999999% transmisogyny but that one little bit of, idk, almost over-familiarity? when some dickhead tries to recruit you into a harassment campaign drives me up the wall as well, i can't help it. in how many languages does one need to say "i don't even know you, why the fuck are you talking to me about some woman i also do not know" for these people to stop sending their shitty little links??

There's like. Millions of people who genuinely think that touching your wee wee while looking at a drawing will cause severe brain damage and they spend hours engaging in this belief and incorporating it into their politics. Their politics.

being extremely out of the loop especially regarding social media trends and discourse means you often end up learning things only after they've been turned into memes like ten times removed from the original context. for example the first time I ever read the term "girl dinner" it was on a gif of the T-Rex from Jurassic Park eating people so you can imagine the confusion when some time later I stumbled upon posts where people were hating on it and calling it gender essentialist

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

my friends held an intervention for me to "stop asking intimidately specific questions". i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently "a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes". turns out my curious nature is "scaring the hoes"

when i asked for examples i was told that "do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?" and "is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?" are apparently "inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club". but i disagree. as if you wouldn't be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that's what i thought

Fascinated by the fact that "guy obsessed with boat refurbishment" is considered one of "the hoes."