he's alive, mike! alive!

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

remembering that Shane loves gay sex he loves bottoming he loves sucking dick & he loves masculine men sucking his dick & holding him down while they fuck him. This is so awesome that I get to remember this and also can watch it canonically happen any time I want on my television

@susandsnell

can ernie put a wig on and be in the lineup twice

It's too bad he soft launched the mustache earlier this season, he could have pasted one on to be new player Ernesto Clementi

my sons ranked from most to least hard to love

“source?” the mold in my water bottle told me