how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.

I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.

First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).

But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.

"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."

(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)

However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.

No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."

See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.

It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.

And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.

He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.

So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.

This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."

If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.

Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.

He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.

All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.

Astarion is so far removed from that kind of measured empathy that he genuinely can't compute how other people work, I think. In the above you can see him struggle to bridge that gap and try to present it from Tav's point of view, but he doesn't actually get it and that shows through so badly that the whole thing falls apart. It's sort of fascinating looking at his various seduction routines (and how quickly they fall apart in the Karlach origin romance, when they don't apply) because he's so clearly working off a predetermined script. It honestly almost cracks me up because I've never seen a character who so clearly got to his current level of proficiency purely by trial and error rather than any actual skill. As soon as he's required to go off-script and forced to improvise his whole shtick falls apart, because he lacks the deeper understanding required for genuine charisma.

Man, I have known some charming-ass motherfuckers in my life - I married into a whole clan of them - and you know what they're all good at? Making you feel like the most important person in the world. Tired, obviously practiced lines are the complete antithesis of that, but Astarion's never had to find that out because he doesn't need to charm people for more than an evening.

this is all in incredible contrast to the Emperor’s manipulation of you, imo. that guy got me hook, line, and sinker, played me entirely like a damned fiddle. granted it isn’t until act 3 that you can start putting together more and more as to why you might have reason to distrust him, aside from the whole...illithid...thing. 

every interaction with the Emperor/Dream Visitor had me reeling. i knew that taking anything he said at face value was a bad idea, i knew that he was playing on Tav’s fear and compassion for others and desire to just live through it all. but despite that it was presented so (supposedly) earnestly, so genuinely, that it was hard not to buy into it. some part of me always knew that there was more beneath the surface there, that there was something sour hidden underneath a veil of compassion. 

and what i think it is is that he is so good at giving you JUST ENOUGH of his own selfishness that you believe him about the rest. he is always incredibly clear and present with his requests for you to use the tadpole and further your powers. he presents information to you remarkably frequently. he just doesn’t present the whole picture. he gives you just enough to hang yourself with. he tells you about Stelmane enough in a way to pity him and to feel compassion about this lost last relationship--and to feel special that he is experiencing it again with someone like you. you have to genuinely dig and poke and pry to find out the truth--to discover her enthrallment, to discover how he immediately threw aside Ansur when it didn’t suit his needs. 

contrary to Astarion, the Emperor is a master manipulator. the only basis for distrust is ‘why would i trust an illithid’ which, while totally valid, isn’t an option i chose considering my Tav’s the kind of person who isn’t going to dismiss anyone out of hand based on presuppositions or race--because if they did, they wouldn’t have listened to Omeluum either. 

Astarion is scrambling to re-learn a lot of things about how interactions and power grabs in social situations work. He seduced and plied his way from people like Sebastian who’d never been kissed--people he felt genuine care and guilt about--to people who were just easy to get with a pretty face and a set script. with Tav he’s operating entirely out of that usual setup and approach and is relying on old techniques out of desperation! it’s so fun and fascinating to see and is some really stellar writing and what made my fellow charlatan Tav just smile to herself the entire time. 

on the one hand, with Astarion’s manipulation, you get to see into this underlying damage and trauma and pain, it’s so heavy handed that you can see the attempt at wresting some kind of control, and that provides insight as to his motivations for trying to worm his way (hah) into your good graces. on the other, with the Emperor’s, everything you ‘see’ underneath what he tells you--his sadness about Stelmane and Ansur, his desire to ‘protect’ you--is all a means to an end. i genuinely do not think the Emperor--Balduran--has any care for you outside of what you can do for him and his goals. even when you get his hideout! even when you do not press him for info about Stelmane to see how he controlled her! he’s like ‘hey look at all this--i had a dog, i liked soup, i also got a sword on my first paycheck’ like he’s going through a fucking checklist of relatability. UGH. i felt such genuine...idk. disgust. betrayal. reading his note to Ansur, contrasting how Ansur talks to him. the fact that he just calls Ansur his friend! because nothing else meant anything to him! 

So if you're also depriving yourself of sleep right now to claim back a sense of autonomy and free time: it's okay; you can go to bed too.

Legend of Korra got attacked because Korra and Asami "only held hands in the last shot," despite the uphill battle the writers waged against Nickelodeon to give us even that much.

Steven Universe's final season gets remembered in the most bad-faith way possible because the crew risked everything to get the first-ever queer wedding in a kids' show, and got penalized by the network because of it.

Adventure Time gets panned for "waiting until the very end" to make Bubblegum and Marceline canon, despite the fact that they couldn't get the network to allow it until after the wedding in Steven Universe (hey! look at that! STEVEN UNIVERSE BEING IMPORTANT TO OTHER SAPPHIC SHIPS GOING CANON, fancy that!).

She-Ra gets accused constantly of being "toxic representation" despite the sheer number of queer people who fought tooth and fucking nail to get it to happen at all and put their entire soul into representing themselves honestly.

The Owl House crew has directly cited Steven Universe and She-Ra for paving the way. Lumity would have never fucking happened without the milestones made by others who came before.