the type of shit you see when you google "three stooges" but accidentally don't type the r
hello vonnie

titsay

if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle


Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Jules of Nature
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

JBB: An Artblog!
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36

â
trying on a metaphor

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@thetoadlessfriendisback
the type of shit you see when you google "three stooges" but accidentally don't type the r

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DUDE i just realized that they call it porridge because it's goopy amd when you serve it you have to pour itge
No youâre thinking of forage, porridge is when youâre really brave
Every time my cane falls over I'm like ah no my top-heavy hollow metal tube #MyTuube , god's loudest fucking object
I cannot stress enough the volume at which the handle (solid plastic) (top heavy) THWACKS into the ground. The noise isn't quite [pipe falling sound fx] per se but it's pretty fucking close. On account of the hollow metal tube. M;y tuube
Luckily mine has a rubber top, but it falls over often
Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.
Great work everyone
Loving the crowdsourced sacrilege on display here
I asked maths boy for his input
#ok but are we assuming average human density here or can we have a black hole jesus #will there be a noticeable gravitational effect from standing too close to our lord and savior #can i - and this is critical - can i be spaghettified by jesus (via @dreadful-puns-and-finger-guns)
Is it like a lizard where he can just grow it back?
please read this story of a man accidentally discovering his wife is the world's best Tetris player
[image description: an excerpt of text that says:
âItâs funny,â I told Flewin. âWe have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. Sheâs weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.â
What Flewin said next I will never forget.
âOh, my!â
/end id]
TL;DR on the article
The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.
The guy heâs talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.
They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version sheâs playing actually has a different record of 545.
She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.
which, they later find out, is her second-best record
There was a decent but ultimately forgettable fantasy novel I read a long time ago that had a single moment that stuck with me.
The protagonist has just won the world famous sword fighting competition in the big, rich capital and is talking to his mentor, and says something about being the best swordsman in the world. The mentor frowns and tells him that no, he isn't. He is the best swordsman out of the people that could afford to show up to this tournament. There could be a mercenary way out in the mountains, patrolling a snow encrusted fort's walls that could kick his ass and there was no way to know until he was already losing to the guy.
I think about that a lot, and how for every apparently dominant competitor, there might be a fucking ronin out there somewhere capable of destroying them.
Always reblog tetris ronin lady
Also true about singers and storytellers and philosophers and theologians. You only hear about the ones that are out there.

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this meme is so niche
the king has abruptly fired 60% of his wizard staff, so heâs about to be abruptly surprised at who floated 100% of his formerly floating sky castle
I heard they're planning to maintain their levitation rites with autonomous constructs from now on, saying wizards are going to be totally obsolete within the season... so, ah, I'd invest in falling island insurance.
Preserving not-prev-but-someone-elses funny tags in this chain as well because I love both these additions actually,
Astronauts are so funny man. Here's just a couple of things I've found hilarious from this past week of space stuff:
It's probably already been spread around here enough already, but in case anyone's missed it; 7 hours after launch, commander Reid Wiseman, dealing with tech issues, uttered the generational quote "I have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one of those are working."
After fixing the issues that were afflicting the onboard toilet, mission specialist Christina Koch (who has quickly become my favourite of the four) laughingly said âIâm the space plumber, Iâm proud to call myself the space plumber.â
On Easter Sunday, the Artemis II crew hosted a makeshift egg hunt, by hiding packets of dehydrated scrambled eggs around their Orion capsule.
The way the crew always makes sure to make it very clear they're in space when doing interviews. From stuff like Wiseman just hanging out floating sideways on screen or Koch letting her hair loose so it can freely span out flowing around her.
While in transit, the crew decided to record a parody of those bad 80s sitcom intros where everyone turns and smiles at the camera.
When the crew reached the furthest point from Earth in the mission, they jokingly clambored over each other in an effort to get to the far side of the capsule, so that they could individually claim to be the furthest person from earth.
At the same time, on the ISS which was at the time on the other side of earth, the 7 astronauts onboard had a light-hearted race to the far side of the station, making jokes about being the furthest humans from Artemis.
On the way back to earth, NASA actually managed to establish an audio call between the crews of the ISS and Artemis II (where they shared the above info), and Koch called one member of the ISS crew, Jessica Meir, her "astro-sister" as the two of them previously spacewalker together in 2019. Meir then responded I'm so happy that we are back in space together, even if we are a few miles apart" (a few here being 230,000).
While Jeremy Hansen was doing an interview, Wiseman and Koch were just in the background swatting the mission mascot (a little moon plush toy named Rise) back and forth between each other.
I love this post especially the rat part
going on me feed
what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post
@hellsite-hall-of-fame @hellsitegenetics @bettinalevyisdetermined @cobblecatyt @l0stn3v3rf0und
su mer lovinâ âscream at own assâ
@vocabulary-altering-posts
me, starting a new game: iâm gonna be evil this time
me, 5 minutes into said game: Being Mean Is Not Nice
Me when I try to start a Jojamart save in Stardew but donât want to betray The Communityâąïž

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oh it totally does, but you canât hear it because space is a vacuum and sound canât travel through a vacuum!Â
and thatâs a good thing,Â
because the roar of the sun would clock in at around 120db heard from earth, about the equivalent to having a trainâs horn go off three feet from your face.Â
constantly. all the time, even at NIGHT. there would be no escape.
this is simply terrifying. how do you erase knowledge please ?
NASA actually recorded the sun, if you want to hear it:
And they recorded the planets too:
so, the sun and the earth sound about how i wouldâve expected, and a lot of other planets just make strong wind sounds which is perfectly reasonable but venus sounds like pure dread?!?! WHY IS SATURN SCREAMING?!? pluto isnât bad and is actually kinda nice but itâs very strange to me too like Why Does It Do That. jupiter is super chill 10/10. pluto and jupiter need to collab i would buy that album
oh, fuck, guys, you know what this means? it means the ancient world was right about the music of the spheres.Â
Sun
Mercury
Venus
Earth
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
UranusÂ
Neptune
Pluto
i can hear these photos and i donât like it
Is anyone going to explain why Saturn is basically screaming?
Iâm afraid
I love this so much! This brings me joy. *sigh* I love outerspace
okay most of these are fine but??? the sun??? and to a slightly lesser extent mercury and neptune??? make me dissociate ON THE SPOT??? like those noises happen and I just. retreat. to somewhere in my head where itâs dark. and warm. not a cozy warm but an oozing warm. where my head tilts too far to the side. and all humanity flees me to be replaced with the feeling of. need. like hunger. except itâs mental not physical. and all emotions has stopped like it fear disrespecting the planets like emotion is not allowed like these sounds override all sense of self and reality. because itâs ringing in my ears and caressing every thought. and at any moment I may crawl out of my skin. furred and fanged and clawed and howling. primal. feral and unrelenting, unbound by logic or compassion or desire.
because there is no me there is only the NOISE of the heavens and the CREATURE that can hear it
Just finally finished The Magnus Archives and holy shit, but it also inspired an art piece. Text on the cassette tape is spoilers for episode 160
Made 3 versions since I donât know which I like more
Bonus color for the eyes cause why not
Just finally finished The Magnus Archives and holy shit, but it also inspired an art piece. Text on the cassette tape is spoilers for episode 160
Made 3 versions since I donât know which I like more
ââfucked up evil Rick Astley and his dessert spoons
Video description: Rick Astley in a recording studio sings, "Then I'm gonna give you up. Then I'm gonna let you down. Then I'm gonna run around with desert spoons. Then I'm gonna make you cry. Then I'm gonna say goodbye. Then I'm gonna tell a lie, and hurt you."
Rickroll rating: Evil.
:(
Oh how the Ricks have Rolled
odin is like âwhen thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bellâ
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Ăorâs birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again
I need this framed on my wall itâs so beautiful.Â
@theshitpostcalligrapher
ay @systlin hmu
@systlin
My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.
Solen sken, skönt gyllene
Dagen Tor föddes
PĂ„ trottoaren, vid Taco Bell
DÀr lÄg Loke
âKJN
My translation:
The sun shone, sweet golden
The day of Torâs birth
On the tarmac, by Taco Bell
There lay Loki
(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)
@bold-sartorial-statement
ay yo show ur husbandÂ
@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes:Â
(oops spot the typos)
i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do itÂ
SĂłlin skein, björt og gullin við fÊðingu ĂĂłrs ĂĄ stĂgnum við Taco Bell Ăar lĂĄ Loki
The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing
This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!
And in Danish because why not:
Solen skinnede, skĂžn og gylden
PĂ„ dagen for Tors fĂždsel
PĂ„ asfalten ved Taco Bell
Dér lÄ Loke
âLEV MERE (LIVE MAS)â
*Snorts*
When Thor born
He hair shine brite
A very very
Magical site
But then I see
A bab from hell
I pik up loki
From taco bell
the rosetta stone of shitposting
@incorrectnorse-quotes
Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite

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my existentialism professor once showed us this meme and then said softly âreintarnationâ and started laughing for about 5 minutes straight but he was laughing so softly we thought he was crying and didnât know what to do about it
my favorite genre of cast photo are the ones that also read as social media posts from the characters in universe
the additions to my collection since this post