Álaster's Nest

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

this morning i got a spam call that just played clown waiting music for a few seconds and then hung up on me. which really pissed me off a lot

im gonna make it big someday just you watch

*goes back to jerkin it*

maginate cuando los yankees se enteren que una de la candidatas más populares del momento en el país es una ZURDA rubia de ojos claros y le dicen RUSA. la propaganda les queda servida, se les hace agua la boca de solo pensarlo.

if they put me in a big pot of soup i would be fine.

hi. i’m the guy who all that blood belongs to. yeah in all the pictures of anime girls and cool ocs holding knives. it’s mine. i don’t donate it or anything. they just kill me again and again. because someone’s gotta but that’s not the part people really wanna see. it’s okay though. it’s a living

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

got 4 words for ya: bagel and cream cheese. here’s another: coffee…..

sometimes you just have to peel the entire skin off your lips because self-care

every hatchetfield project has a background character named rollerskate guy with 2 lines of spoken dialogue and 3 total minutes of screentime comprised solely of him rollerskating across stage and flipping off the main characters, and then theyll announce a spin off called rollerama where rollerskate guy is eaten alive by an eldritch god as consequence for his hubristic desire to be the best skater in hatchetfield (his father left after he lost his first skating competition and he's been chasing his approval ever since). rollerskate guy is played by joey richter.