#transcompassionist

This is Keny, they are a trans male who uses they/them and she/her. She had transitioned then detransitioned due to social pressures from transmeds. she now realized that going on t made her happy and is speaking with her doctor about going back on it. She loves feminine outfits and cannot bind due to medical issues.

Listen. While hating yourself or your body is a TYPE of gender dysphoria, it is not the ONLY type of dysphoria. 

There are many different symptoms that can be considered gender dysphoria. Self loathing is not the only fucking category. 

That’s like saying all depressed people have no appetite. Like sure, in SOME people who have depression they have no appetite, but not EVERY SINGLE depressed person has IDENTICAL symptoms.

(left is mine, right is og)

his name is silas, he has ADHD and loves skating and singing!

he has written angry songs about transphobia and homophobia, and has a youtube channel with around 1000 subscribers.

his parents aren't very supportive, but silas is planning on moving to an apartment as soon as possible.

silas named himself after a character in his favorite webcomic.

and now, tags!

First, let’s define Gender Dysphoria:

“Gender dysphoria is a condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because there's a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity. It's sometimes known as gender incongruence.”

There are three categories of ways GD manifests itself:

Social Dysphoria: trans individuals wanting people to see them as a different sex/gender. This includes changing pronouns and trying to “pass” as the other sex. Ex: wearing gender-affirming clothing.

Body Dysphoria: basically “this isn’t my body”, typically the individual wants their body to look more like a different sex/gender. This can be anywhere from the general silhouette to wanting every detail to be changed to match their gender identity. Ex: going on hormone replacement therapy.

Mind Dysphoria: experiencing feelings/mood swings related to their assigned sex and feeling discomfort. Ex: trans man experiencing PMS symptoms.

Now that we have that defined, let’s talk about my dysphoria in particular. I’m FtM, aka a trans guy.

(This is by no means a template for how dysphoria should be, it’s just my experience.)

I’m going to break it down into the aforementioned categories.

Social Dysphoria:

My voice always gives me away. I want the deepest voice in the world. I wanna sing Bass 2. Man voice.

Dogs. They know. They can smell it. They will see me as female until I do HRT.

Whenever someone calls me “miss” or “ma’am” or any form of “she” I want to die. Or kill them. Or hide. Depends on current emotions.

People saying that I’ll always be inherently/biologically/genetically female. This makes me actually want to die. I have a fantasy that science will be able to rewrap my DNA so that the X from my dad would look like a Y chromosome.

Not being able to walk around w/out a shirt on like cis guys. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Fuck my chest I wanna be like the men.

Not being able to pee standing up. I want to be a urinal man not a toilet man.

I’m too short, all the guys around me are so much taller than my 5’4” ass. I just want to be like the guys.

Body Dysphoria:

Boobs. Don’t want em, get rid of em asap.

Periods. I don’t know any cis woman who likes them but they’re especially shitty when you don’t want to be a female at all.

Genitalia. I want to have a peen. I can hardly deal with this thing that I have. I don’t like the hole, I don’t like the flaps, I don’t like the tiny peen.

My waist is too skinny, hips too big, and shoulders too small. I want to have that man triangle shape, not this hourglassish figure.

My face needs the hair and so does my chest. I want to be a caveman. Sasquatch.

Mind Dysphoria:

Those days when I feel really feminine make me dysphoric bc I don’t wanna be associated with that.

I hate being really emotional bc that’s associated with femininity which is bs but it’s how it is.

And a bonus section,

Dysphoria I’ve Alleviated:

Hair dysphoria (social/physical), I cut my hair to look more masculine.

Name dysphoria (social), my first name was already masculine, so I changed my middle name to Mason.

Pronoun dysphoria (social), I changed my pronouns to be/him and anyone who knows me (and supports me) uses those pronouns.

How on earth do I cope with such a list? Well, tbh I mostly don’t. I’m transitioning to get rid of my dysphoria, it won’t all magically go away. That said, I do have a few tricks that I use.

How I Cope:

I dress more masculine and often in baggy clothes to hide my body and to be perceived as male.

My (Underworks) binder helps compress my chest which helps get rid of that chest dysphoria.

I have packing underwear (RodeoH), but have yet to get a packer (aka fake dick) or STP (stand to pee, another fake dick) to put in it, but I hope to as soon as possible.

I now use he/him pronouns and changed my middle name.

I purposely deepen my voice while in public to appear more masculine. It doesn’t go substantially deeper, but I try.

Not thinking about the things I cannot change. It’s important to get rid of ideas that are purely harmful and don’t need to dwell on. It’s definitely something I need to work on.

Like @funsizedboy, I’m dropping the label “transmed”. The community is becoming way too toxic and I’d like to distance myself from that.

A lot of transmeds tend to misgender transcomps and that’s something I really disagree on. I plan on trying to use neopronouns on people if they use them, as I don’t want to cause discomfort in any way. Adding to this, recent posts have made it clear that some transmeds can and will misgender dysphoric transcomps.