Ew

Muffin disclaimer

So you’ve ordered a muffin! We hope you’re up for a challenge.

Our wobbly tabby cat Bea REALLY likes muffins so there are a few things to be aware of if you have a muffin in the cat area.

- She WILL climb you to try and get your muffin - She is not very good at climbing so she will claw her way up your body - It WILL hurt - She WILL NOT give up - She may try to eat the muffin right out of your mouth - She is not allowed to eat muffins

You may pick her up / move her away if needed and if you’re really struggling, come and talk to us and we will help. No matter how much she wants to, it is still very important that you don’t let her eat any muffin as it will make her sick.

Good luck and we hope you enjoy your muffin experience!

She may look sweet and innocent but we promise you she’s not

It’s Jeff: Infinity Comic #12 - “Jeffsgiving” (2021)

and then he just whips her out and says “you gotta have one of these things, they can track, and they’re just the best hunting dogs in the world” and that was the whole video and honestly i’ve never wanted a chihuahua more in my life

like

he talks for a while about general hunting prep without even a HINT of a chihuahua. i was watching it thinking, where is the dog??

“hey everyone. it’s that time of the year, september 18th, elk are in full rut, they’ve been bugling, just want to go over a few things that i bring with me. always have an extra layer of gear, rain gear, looks like we’ve got weather coming in, it was 32 degrees this morning. i always have my cow call in here, i’ve got glasses, i’ve got rain gear, i’ve got beef jerky, gun, water, all that good stuff, so, most important thing though is make sure you have a real good companion. i like to bring my hunting dog, if you don’t have a good dog, this dog—”

AND THEN

FROM THE BACKPACK HE HAS BEEN CASUALLY HOLDING BY HIS HIP

SHE EMERGES

“—can hunt.”

COCO BLINKS BLANDLY IN THE SUDDEN SUNLIGHT

“name’s coco, don’t let the size fool you, she’s all business when it comes to hunting so, she’s a good watchdog”

CAMERA GETS TOO CLOSE TO COCO, WHO GOES ABSOLUTELY FERAL

“ow ow, wow, see— she will take your fi— [to coco] come on, settle down settle down, here we go, we’re going hunting right now”

*slings coco into the air like a bag of trail mix*

“you gotta have one of these things”

Take money, for example. You can’t just have people in a fictional fantasy world walk around using Euros. You consider something generic, like ‘silver coins,’ but before you know it your world starts sounding like a shitty ren faire.

…didst thou mean dollars?

“Nevermind. They’re using some basic silver coin and then enough gold to be worth ten silver coins is called a ten-piece”

…Si, si, el Peso!

Trying over, they’re minted by the king so they’re called crown coins, or, these days, abbreviated, they’re just Crowns

Naturligvis, vi skifter Daler ud med Kroner!

—

Astoria is Statler in a fucking dress…

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says