Scream Of Conscious

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

when tumblr shutdown scares happen and everyone starts promoting sites that are way worse and shut down quicker

I've been melting dogs down to make this thing called dog metal

AU where instead of trying to cure her infertility Yennefer just goes around saving random people’s lives and invoking the law of surprise bcos she figures sooner or later it’ll net her a baby. she hasn’t got one yet but she has amassed about 2 dozen dogs so she’s doing pretty well for herself.

Okay but her doing this beFORE Geralt does it and when she finds out that he only had to invoke the law of surprise ONCE to get a baby she goes absolutely feral on him. Just dead silent, furious, finally starts pulling off her jewelry like, “bard, hold my earrings.”

“It’s one human baby, Geralt. How much could it be, like 10 dogs?”

God forbid women do anything

i have been noticing recently that people younger than me are too sensitive, while people older than me are not sensitive enough. which, if i'm correct, should be taken as a sign that the total reality penetration vortex is operating as intended -- within as few as five or six generations we may very well be producing babies who can directly perceive the wound at the heart of the world

trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*

its always cock block and never cock parry. or god forbid cock riposte