all i see is plinth

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

You guys call anything Catholic just because it's christian and vibesy. "oh he's southern and makes me feel bad about myself" girl that's a baptist

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

Hyperrealistic simulacrum of a good father

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

tuesday status?

yup. its tuesday 👍

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

imagine being the first person to have a barbeque in space and getting to say "the steaks have never been higher"