all i see is plinth

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

Hyperrealistic simulacrum of a good father

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

tuesday status?

yup. its tuesday 👍

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

imagine being the first person to have a barbeque in space and getting to say "the steaks have never been higher"

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

Holy Shit

men got a taste of women's beauty standards and immediately started bashing their facial bones with hammers

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

It’s so funny to me that soccer games can end with a score of 0-0 like imagine going to see a soccer game and both teams just run around the field for 90 minutes doing absolutely nothing and nobody scores any points and at the end of the 90 minutes they’re like well. Guess that’s that. Great soccer game guys.