first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone
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@sabine79
first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

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Reblog if you don't use Generative AI to write fanfics/original fics or to create fanart/original art.
Tbh germ theory DOES sound crazy. Like if you told a regency-era nobleman that tiny creatures lived on the surface of everything and THATāS what causes consumption, theyād be like āah, I see you are a lunatic. Would you reside in my hermitage? Rantings and ravings do so amuse my guestsā
But if you told a Medieval person this they would probably go "Ah, so when the miasma settles on surfaces it gains evil life. I understand."
Yeah, actually, it would probably be pretty easy to explain germ theory to a Medieval person as tiny evil spirits that live on everything, but they can be purified by soap and water, or by alcohol, because that is why God has granted us those things. And because they can float in the air, if you cough or sneeze after they have infested you, that can cause them to infest others. And when you are sick, the angels God has deputized to defend the bodies of His beloved children are at war with the evil spirits, and, sadly, sometimes they lose, but the best way to help your angels win their battle is to rest, drink plenty (this would probably be small beer in this time period, not water, because the water was also infested), stay clean, and for the sake of God do not allow anyone to let your blood, for the angels need that blood in their war against the evil spirits. Bloodletting is good for some types of illnesses but not the kinds caused by the tiny evil spirits.
boiling as a sterilization measure is also easy to explain. water returns to the air when heated and it rises as steam back up to the floodgates of heaven; we know God created the world in seven days, He's not up there making more water every time it rains. it circulates. the returning of water to heaven also purifies the water of unclean and malign influences. you know wormy water from a muddy puddle will kill your kid. you know you wouldn't wade into a bog and have a slurp. water that remains in the low places of earth absorbs all that is unclean from our waste and it may also sponge up new diseases from hell, we're not totally sure about that one, but it seems likely. God set up the heavenly water cycle so that the earth's waters wouldn't totally fill up with gunk.
what does this have to do with boiling your surgical tools? well look, the boiling water releases bubbles of steam which carries the malign influences up to heaven. you boil a knife, you send all the miasmic particles off with the steam to heaven. if you rinse the knife off in a bucket the water isn't hot enough, the particles go into the water and then right back on to the knife. you gotta boil it to get the particles all the way away. how can a tool or rag or a bed have miasmic particles on it when you can't smell them? humans have a lousy sense of smell. look at your dog on the hunt. are there no rabbits in the woods just because you can't smell them? we know that miasma is carried on the air, and is what makes stench so dangerous, and we know that humans can't smell worth a damn compared to dogs cats horses etc. a dog can smell if a rat died in a corner of the room last week. you can't. do you think licking the spot where the rat died is going to go well for you? luckily, what humans lack in snout we make up for in brains. we have extra brains where our sniffers should have been. God set that up for a reason.
and why does a rinse with wine spirits work? man, look how fast alcohol evaporates. my guess is that because wine contains a lot more vice than water, it evaporates a whole lot faster, in sort of an equal and opposite way that a rock falls faster than a feather. if you want the miasmic particles to get off there FAST, you dunk it in something that's going back to heaven at a gallop.
what's up with honey? it just preserves things against corruption. doesn't clean them off. honey doesn't evaporate at all. probably because bees don't sin. it's not good for ridding a tool of particles-- it's sticky-- but fine for preserving anything you don't want to go to heaven OR hell. this is why you wash the wound with wine spirits or purified water FIRST, to sluice the miasma out, then slap the honey on AFTER. and boil the damn bandage, too. you wouldn't put a rotten door in a sound doorframe and expect it to keep out bandits, would you? cmon.
"SURVIVING"
I love yall. Whoever you are. I'll always love you person reading this.
ppl are so annoyingĀ āyou canāt paint ur bedroom pink youāre an adultā i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige
I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to āthink about the futureā
Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.
when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as ā14 year old girl purpleā (through whatās wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I donāt know, even if theyāre not what I want as an adult). They didnāt believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a ādark purpleā, it would be ādepressingā. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.
I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.
But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, āOh yeah, thatās really pretty.ā (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)
And the moral of the story is: Fuck āem, please yourself. Either theyāll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.
This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be āmatureā about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that Iām 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, Iām just like āmarriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.ā If they donāt like it then they donāt have to come to my wedding.
https://xkcd.com/150/
I would like you all to view my office. Iām thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me
Iām thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesnāt mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.
GROWING UP DOESNāT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
GROWING UP DOESNāT
MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I have told this story before, and I will tell it again, because I am An Old now and repeating stories forever is our prerogative:
When I bought my house, the kitchen was multiple shades of dingy white. It was dismal, but it was now mine! So went to the hardware store for paint (well, several trips, painted swatches on panel, etc ā Iām very picky. But this was the final, ārealā trip). It was a busy day in the paint section. There were at least five people behind me in line.
Now, remember, latex paint is slightly lighter and brighter when wet than it is when dry. And Iād decided to paint my kitchen candy-apple red. The hardware store employee took my gallon off the Paint Jiggler and cracked it open to put a dab on the top, revealing the most incredibly deep pink, and behind me I hear the entire line of people say,
āOh my god.ā
ā¦in perfect chorus.
I did not realize up until that moment that shocking a crowd of strangers with my paint color choices was a life goal, but at that moment I felt an absolutely overwhelming sense of achievement.
This is the door to my garage. It used to be white. Live your best life.
Mischief the cat says āWho goes there?ā
Every visiting friend says āThis is so cool.ā
If youāre looking for an excuse to do some decorating that will make your soul sing, this entire thread is your sign to do it and donāt look back!
This is the door to
my garage. It used to be
white. Live your best life.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Iām 35. I have been told my place looks like maybe a LP fan lives there.
Not sure what they mean.
When I first moved into my place, I painted the spare room, that eventually became my office, lime green, the kind of lime green that glows down the corridor when I open the door - The colour was only available as an āaccent colourā in the section of paints intended for childrenās playrooms, and in the shop I got a lot of āOh your son will love this!ā And from people I knew I got a lot of āOh well, youāre 21 now, youāre basically a teenager, this is a terrible idea, youāll hate it and need to pull out all the furniture to repaint it.ā And I have to report that I am now in my forties and my office still looks like this, and it makes me smile every time I see it.
this is such a modern idea, too
not decorating trends; those have always existed. but the idea that color and decoration is inherently childish
this is the dining room at the Eustis Estate in Milton, Massachusetts, from 1878 (where I used to work, briefly). the walls are TEXTURED MICA SHIMMER on a green background. Adult Space For Adults!
A jewelry shop in Paris c. 1901. kids canāt buy jewelry!
who can forget the classic 1950s colorful bathroom? Iām not a huge fan, but still! adult space! bright colors; decorative designs!
meanwhile āyouāre immature if you like Art Nouveauā is a hot take Iāve really, seriously seen on this webbed site (only once, thank the gods). I donāt know who started this, but Iām going to kill them
I think a lot of it stems from the ubiquitous Waterhouse prints that were sold on college campuses for 20 years. like why would I get a free pass if it were Monet instead Western culture is stupid. The entire point of being an adult is breakfast for dinner and cake for breakfast and dying with the most toys.
instantly decided to reblog when i got to GROWING UP DOESNāT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
The examples of decorated homes above are both either modern or upper class, which makes it easy to dismiss because āsure the rich people have beautiful homesā and āsure, modern middle-class people have lots of color in their homes.ā
So hereās two examples of traditional Norwegian farmhouse interiors. You know. The kinds of places peasants live in.
This type of painting is called ārosemalingā and today you usually find it on, like, carved wooden bowls and such that are only used for decoration. But back two centuries ago, it was very common to find the interiors of homes covered in it, in projects that were painted little by little over the decades. Because itās beautiful to look at, paint is the cheapest way of decorating your house, and what else are you going to do on the long winter nights when itās too dark and cold to work outdoors?
But mostly, they did it because it made them happy, and it was beautiful.
Those old peasants were on to something, I think.
I painted rooms in my house these colors and some people had doubts:
I have been SO HAPPY.
My wife painted the walls of my studio ORANGE. Glorious sunset orange.
I have always wanted a room that was an amazing color and this one is mine.

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Nothing is going to change. Americans love their guns more than they love people and after Sandy Hook we decided that killing over 20 children was acceptable and not outrageous enough to make reasonable restrictions on guns. This is America, a country that has been around for 200 years, a superpower, a 1st world nation, and one of the wealthiest countries on the planet and we refuse to protect our own people. We respect guns more than we respect the lives of people.Ā
What specific gun control measures would you propose and how would they directly and effectively make society safer?
Absolutely get rid of all AR-15ā²s and the like.
Intense background and criminal background checks and anything violent automatically disqualifies you.
Make getting a gun/gun permit more like getting a driverās license:
permit to learn
includes an exam with 18 or more questions on the policies, laws, and etc of guns and gun ownership
if you get more than 8 questions incorrect you must retake it.
30 hours of practical experience at a gun range with a licensed teacher
Must take a 5 hour class on the dangers of guns and how to use them safely which will then yield you a certificate that grants you to take the practical exam and lasts for one year. If you donāt gain the license within the allotted year you must retake the class.
A practical exam with a licensed instructor who will grade you on various skills. If you pass you may be granted a permit on the weapon of your choice, the exams may differ on the type of firearm you want.
Follow the Japanese model where you must have two gun safes in different areas of the house, one to store the gun and one to store the bullets and you must provide the police with information on where those safes are.
No concealed carry and only handguns may be allowed to be out in public.
If transporting a weapon, it must be in the trunk of the vehicle, in a bag or some other case, safety on and unloaded and may not leave the vehicle until you are at the destination.
If youāre a hunter or some other gun hobbyist that requires a functional weapon other than a handgun then the gun must stay on the premises, whether that is a gun range or the Fish and Wildlife facility.
If you live in a rural area where police (and people, for that matter) are few and far between, something akin to a deer hunting rifle should provide plenty of protection from predators and poachers, you still have to follow the aforementioned steps.
This doesnāt cover everything but I think itās a good place to start.
Can you show me evidence that this would directly and effectively create a safer society?
I have never laughed so hard at a gun law post. Like seriously, the evidence is in fucking reality. The proposed restrictions are just fucking logic.
omg the girlies
omg the girls are saviiiiiiiing wiiiildliiiiife
Not all heroes wear capes. Or trousers.
Not leaving this in the tags
I saw this on insta and someone commented asking her how she knew they were in there and she said that she saw the mama duck with only one duckling and thought it was suspicious so she stopped to check and hear them quacking down there... :') <3
the way the momma duck sped up once she saw her babies yayyyy
For when you need a reminder that there really is goodness in the world
And for whenever someone mistakenly tells you that humans can only hurt nature -
We are part of nature. And we are uniquely equipped, in many ways, to help heal the planet we are part of - so long as we keep choosing to help, and to heal, this planet of which we are a part
you ever realize how able bodied people just are not expected to do things that cause them excruciating physical pain? like theyāre just. not
if i shouldnāt use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean
well they could technically pick up a hot pan with their bare hands. it would just hurt like a motherfucker
*sees an abled person using potholders*
i just think itās really sad that youāre giving up on yourself like that
if you use potholders how will you ever build up the calluses necessary to pick up scalding hot metal without burning yourself so severely? itās like youāre not even trying to get better
I mean, my mother uses potholders, but sheās in her 70s. Youāre just⦠too YOUNG to be resorting to potholders at your age.
If you start using potholders, your inability to hold hot metal will only get worse.
As a professional cook I was, and still am, able to pick most stuff up out of an oven without a pot holder. I might get blisters and maybe it will hurt, but usually it wonāt
AMAZING! based on this one specific individualās experiences i will now safely assume that itās possible for anyone to overcome hand pain & leave potholders behind for good!!! as long as you want it bad enough, anything is possible!! make this story go viral so that all those self pitying losers who still use potholders know that thereās no excuse
āā”LIKE & SHARE IF YOU WERE INSPIRED!!!ā”ā
I despise him like no other

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one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid⢠is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOUāRE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to sayĀ āanything worth doing is worth doing poorly.āĀ I didnāt understand that for years because I didnāt do anything poorly, I couldnāt do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.Ā Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.Ā Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.Ā Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I donāt have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly⦠because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.
You must understand that perfectionism isnāt striving for excellence, itās a crippling fear of being flawed and therefore worth abandonment or punishment. Itās a kind of psychological avoidance. Youāre avoiding fear and failure , not embracing the thing you want to do bc if it was about the thing you want to do youād be fine with partial victory.
funniest convo ever with a guy who said 2 me "nobody uses journalism degrees" and i said "my mom has a bachelors in journalism" and he smiled like knowingly and said "yeah, but what does she do?" and i said "she runs a newspaper and publishes romance novels on the side." and he literally said "oh" and nothing else. like he ended the whole conversation there.
i've just been informed he has a trombone degree. like the study of playing trombone. which is all well and good, i genuinely think we should all have the opportunity to chase our academic bliss but i do think the trombone studies guy should hesitate to judge the economic value of other people's degrees no
i love the tags on this post because thereās other music/instrument majors implying niche field-specific drama like āof course it was a trombone player šā and then thereās trombone majors like āthis was NOT me for the recordā
I am down with a migraine. Very dizzy. Expressed a desire for potato chips because I thought the salt might help.
Holly Mop who was beside me in bed got up and trotted into my office. Came back into the bedroom and very daintily spat out a single potato chip.
Which has revealed two things:
A) that she does understand more of what Iām saying, and in true Shih Tzu fashion,chooses not to listen and
B) thereās a stash of stale potato chips somewhere in my office Iāll need to find tomorrow.
Emphasis on tomorrow
Iāve got a Dogtor to cuddle today.
The legacies people leave behind in you.
My handwriting is the same style as the teacherās who I had when I was nine. Iām now twenty one and heās been dead eight years but my iās still curve the same way as his.
I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We havenāt spoken in four years.
I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.
I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.
I learned to love books because my father loved them first.
How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I donāt know it. How beautiful.
absolutely obsessed with these tags
Didnāt anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.
On of the queens halfway through the show, āHoney, are you straight?ā
This man, in a strangled voice, āI donāt knowā
We love the character development
Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

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An important tweet
This is such a "common sense" way of putting it. Everybody memorize this for spitting it back out whenever needed.
Never thought I'd have the opportunity to say this again: Reducing women and girls to their vaginas and then forcing them to show those vaginas to strangers is not a feminist ideal.
Lil' velociraptor vase from the spring (sold)! š±ā¦ļø