Hey there demons, it's me your pal

I can be trusted with the fictional character. I Promise.

I lied. Fuck it’s dire y’all. It’s Bad.

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m at home sitting down

I really needed the last one

I need y'all to know that another pride month has come and gone and I still haven't watched the birdcage... but i do have it now so... progress lol

I did it! 🙌🏻 Fucking loved it too :')

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

happy pride everyone

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

chatgpt didn’t invent the emdash and they can’t fucking have it. it’s mine.