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mutuals do this!!!!

Reblog to pass around warm bread and soup

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fishandshesmygills

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

fishandshesmygills

brother dubious

punchesco

"My liege, I'm afraid I have reason to believe your concubine plots against you. Worry not, your eminence, you can still trust me, of course..."

anneemay

nellachronism

pokemonheritageposts

yeah well he had me in the second half too

pokemonheritageposts

oh this was absolutely the wrong blog

prettyboysdontlookatexplosions

crazy to think that bram stoker, of all people, could envision a jonathan harker who is both a tragic gothic heroine pining in distress in dracula's castle and having panic attacks in the street after he leaves the hospital he thinks he was in for a nervous breakdown and a badass action hero with a big honking knife whose wife thinks he's super hot, but 125 years later modern society like, cannot get on his level.

thegoatsongs

#when bram stoker said he had a woman's heart he meant that he knew it was as sexy for dudes to be weak as it was for them to be strong #but the world wasn't ready for him.... (op's tags)

official-lucifers-child

Wiggle

c4pyb4ra

it did not work, but i can help

big wiggle

bonersniper

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continent-of-wild-endeavor

Job interview tip I got from a tiktok but it's genius:

If you were unemployed for a while, they're going to ask if you can explain the gap in your resume. Unless you were actually doing something cool & relevant, this is hard to answer in a way that makes you sound like a good corporate cog. So here's the best and infallible answer -

No you cannot, because you signed an NDA.

You now sound mysterious, desirable, worldly, experienced. They can't even really ask you more about it! Perfect.

weird-mcgee

This tip isn't genius.

You can give general details even after signing an NDA, and the interviewer can absolutely ask about them. What type of work were you doing? What references can you provide for that time period? What sector was the job in? What skills did you learn from it?

If you're going for a non-office job, claiming to have an NDA will sound weird at best and might make the interviewer decide you're not worth the drama. If you're going for a professional job, the interviewer will be familiar enough with NDAs to be suspicious.

There are plenty of reasonable excuses for a resume gap that won't raise any red flags. You had a family situation which has now been resolved; you took time off to explore starting your own business but found you preferred working in a more traditional employment structure; you had a baby; you took classes; there was a fucking pandemic on. Your interviewer doesn't care too much, they just want to know it's something that won't be a problem during employment (so no "I sent bomb threats to my workplace and that was when the case was ongoing").

Please don't learn professional skills from TikTok. Most of them are coming from teenagers who have no idea how interviews actually work.

nianeyna

in general I think any advice about lying on job applications or interviews is bad. Yes, it's important to not just full on say stuff like "I hate working and I want a job where I don't have to work" but you also don't have to, and shouldn't, just invent an Exelsona out of whole cloth. Particularly post-covid, gaps in your resume are not as big a deal. you can just say the job market seemed unfavorable so you chose to focus on other things and wait for a better opportunity. which for 90% of you is probably the plain unvarnished truth. like dang just go with that it works fine.

lestatslestits

I see Hollywood is now very into the idea of buying something once and then owning it forever and being able to make infinite copies. Which. Isn’t quite the message they imparted upon me in my childhood. In the spirit of their own long-held stance:

tennant

I’m just a traveller wandering past. Believe it or not, all I’m after is a quiet life.

Christopher Eccleston as The Doctor in Doctor Who - Season 1 (2005)

punchingbakugodaily

zevveli

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

elsajeni

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

princessnijireiki

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

siderealsandman

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

kc749

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

qwertyu858

officialfist

Yeah this all checks out

picsthatmakeyougohmm

trickittymoth

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see-arcane

Dracula: Hm, that human mother is being super annoying about her dead kid at the gate. How do I fix that? Wolves? I’ll say wolves.

Dracula: What’s that? My good friend Jonathan Harker wants to leave ahead of schedule? Think I’ll do some wolves about that.

Dracula: Damn, seems that old Dutchman has blocked off one (1) single window with garlic blossoms and now this one (1) specific girl in all of England is barred from me. Maybe I should use my title and/or some invented pretense to cajole the girl’s mother into letting me in. Or maybe I could just move on to a different victim out of the nigh endless blood buffet I specifically moved here to enjoy, none of whom have a small legion of blood donors and vampire-proofing scholars on their side.

Dracula:

Dracula, about to slam dunk a wolf through the window: Or,

paulgadzikowski

remembersunflowers

dr seward: something terrible with Lucy, she’s drained of blood

quincy: sounds like a vampire

dr seward: and those queer holes in her neck

quincy: yeah, that sounds exactly like a vampire

dr seward: absolutely no idea

quincy: vampire

dr seward: a mystery

rosswoodpark

Everyone agrees! Your intestines squirming around like eels in your belly is horrifying!

rosswoodpark

IM SORRY THEY FUCKING WHAT NOW?

thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated

The racks even have hooks to keep them from squirming right off and onto the floor apparently. They desperately want to escape our bodies

aesclepianbanshee

Intestines are muscles, and function involuntarily. If your muscles did not squirm around, then they wouldn’t be able to move food through them, thus you wouldn’t gain any nutrients from anything you eat, and the food would spoil and make you sick. I agree the squirmy wormies are a bit unsettling, but hey it’s actually really good for you! Your intestines work so hard for it! Please give them a little love.

official-liberty-prime-deactiva

I don’t like that get them out

brattylikestoeat

Okay…this is unsettling.

daglout

This post is actually my nightmare

micaxiii

Breaking News! You are full of eels!

iridium-light

#wait til you hear about how they put them back#they just stuff them back in and the mesenteric lining slowly pulls them back into place#no helping required#so it 100% looks like a bunch of squiggly eels getting comfortable in their space again (via lampfaced)

pardonmewhileipanic

Thanks, I hate it!

nothwell

gee willikers Mr. Microsoft Word i sure do hope my readers aren't offended by the fuckword in my 175k novel about two dudes BDSM raw-dogging it in every corner of fantasy!Venice

nothwell

@a-kind-of-merry-war

rustythefox

Being on this website is fun because you can absolutely tell when a blorbo clicks in someone's brain. You're scrolling, and suddenly out of nowhere there's like 12 posts about the same character back to back reposted by the same person, and you just know "oh. They're a permanent part of their psyche now." and honestly it's a vibe go off king

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queenmoriarty

you know when you’re rocking the no make-up look and you assume you’re looking all beachy n natural cute but u look in the mirror and u look like a victorian child sick with influenza who won’t make it through the winter

important-animal-images

d-d-zero

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