is this blog stupid? yes. but which one of us is following it?

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

Let's all say thank you to the beer industry for sticking with glass bottles and aluminum cans. Our plastic pollution problem could have been just a little bit worse.

Green is the color of venom

It checks out, bc red is the color of life and green sauce is trash while red sauce is the best

WITNESS ME

I’d hold a cane or something out to the side and knock down everybody on the stairs.

Handi-capable

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name