oh aeneas we’re really in it now

I want a video game with realistic dick and balls physics not for any prurient reason, but... okay, so you know how in some games with boob physics, there's a palpable delay after a character model is instantiated before physics start to apply to the boobs, so it's like *pop* ... *FWOMP*? I want to see the cock version of that. Penis-having character spawns in, there's a beat, then the physics engine tries to play catch-up and applies a full second of gravitational acceleration to their junk all at once and they just randomly start helicoptering.

(For those saying this is making them picture a character's penis flapping in the breeze like a flag on a pole or laundry on a line, that was actually, literally happening at launch. I'm not sure if they ever fixed it.)

*charges in, winded, barely able to breathe, hoping against hope to be the first one to do this joke* I'VE HEARD OF BEING AT HALF MAST, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!

can everyone do me a favor and tell me your favorite thing to put on toast in the tags

miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at

I didn’t even read the rest because I’m still laughing at “miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit” like I’ve never read a more perfect phrase in my life

Ask not for whom the gurdy hurds. It hurds for thee.

rereading dracula after reading carmilla for the first time really makes me appreciate carmilla's efficiency in securing a place. dracula had to deal with all the logistics of the housing market meanwhile carmilla just crashed her car on someone's lawn and she got a cushy guest room and a girlfriend out of it. carmilla the woman you are

Getting the player characters in my Dungeons & Dragons campaign entangled in an extraplanar racing circuit with events sponsored by various cities throughout the Lower Planes and seeing how long I can keep it going before they realise the entire exercise was an excuse to have a major campaign event called "the Dis course".