Self Deprecation

Babe are you OK? You reblogged "even if you get worse".

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named "captain hook". hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like "you. it's always been you. ever since you were born i've known we were meant to be" captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don't WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!

WAS TOLD AT CHRISTMAS DINNER THAT THIS IS INDEED REAL, AND THAT I AM IN THE WILL TO RECIEVE THE BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER 👏 STOP 👏 BEINGSCARED 👏

we kill the bat man

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

One of the best posts

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles