¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ™

did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

my problem is if i enjoy something enough i will be nitpicking. i Will have things to say about where and how it failed. out of nothing but love straight from my heart. unfortunately this often makes me indistinguishable from a hater who has never experienced joy or kindness. such is the amateur critic's burden.

all of my favourite things are like beautiful racehorses that trip over their own feet a hundred times. but they get back up again. and goddamn, you should see them run.

I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

the trans male experience is being afraid that if you wash your hands in a public men's restroom you will be clocked

one time I went in the men's room at a bar, got clocked and told I needed to leave so later I walked up to that dude at a table with some chick and announced to her that He Doesn't Wash His Hands After Handling His Dick and walked away

you are quite literally braver than any U.S. marine

“Art is happening everywhere all of the time” but an awful lot of it seems to only ever happen in New York and London, doesn’t it?

a frustrating number of people believe that “New York and London” constitutes “everywhere”

Not to mention some of these shows are literally impossible to do on a small scale because purchasing the rights to perform them would bankrupt most small theaters.

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly