???

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

i need to imagine some scenarios

on a scale of nothingburger to everything bagel

It's actually very sad and kinda embarrassing how often I post about my opinion on something and people in the notes will be like "wow you're right this thing that I loved until this exact moment is actually evil and disgusting and I need to make a formal apology for ever thinking about it in any positive way" like hello? Do you not have a spine?? Are you so incapable of thinking for yourself that you're letting strangers online do it for you instead???

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG