lets plant a garden in the heart of this wasteland

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit. 

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably. 

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up. 

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen. 

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

1lb / approx. 2 ⅓ cups basmati rice (any long-grain rice will do)

3 tbsp salt

8 tbsp / 1 stick butter (you can reduce this if you don’t want to have a heart attack)

Put the rice in a pot and cover it in cold water and salt. Let it soak overnight. (If you don’t have the time to soak it, rinse the rice with cold water until it runs clear.)

Edit: The reason you want to soak basmati and other aromatic rice before cooking is to preserve more acetylpyrroline, the compound that gives aromatic rice its characteristic scent and flavor. Soaking rice allows the grains to absorb water, which reduces the cooking time, which means less time for the acetylpyrroline to cook off. It’ll still taste pretty good if you can’t do this, but you don’t want “pretty good”, you want mind-blowing, so for that perfect flavor you’ll want to soak your rice overnight. The soaking process also washes away the layer of starch on the outside of the rice, which allows the grains to separate rather than sticking together; this is why you want to rinse your rice thoroughly if you don’t have time to soak it.

Preheat your oven to 325°.

Boil three quarts of water in a separate pot. Once it’s at a fast boil, drain the rice and add it to the water. Boil for 5-7min or until one grain tastes half-cooked, but not soft. Pour the rice into a colander and rinse with cold water.

Edit: This step also helps get rid of any remaining starch on your grains, for perfectly separated rice. If your colander or strainer has large holes, you can put a paper towel/cheesecloth/clean dishcloth on the inside in order to drain your rice. Pour carefully if you’re using a paper towel, though, and put a bowl underneath your colander; I once lost a heartbreaking amount of rice when my paper towel got oversaturated and tore open.

Liberally grease the bottom of your baking pan with some of your butter. Pour the rice on top. Melt the rest of the butter in the microwave and pour on top of the rice.

Bake for 45min. (If you like, cover the rice for part or all of the baking time, but I find it gets less crispy on top if you do this.) Shake the pan a couple times during baking to ensure that the butter distributes throughout the entire dish.

Eat.

Serves four. Can easily be scaled up if needed (or down, but why would you do that?). Best enjoyed with a nice cup of chai.

They can be buttoned together in a stack (footrest mode), buttoned together in a square (big floor cushion mode), or used individually (cushions mode).

I started off with this big 1-metre square foam floor cushion, which I liked but was hard to store when not in use.

I wanted to keep the option of a big floor cushion without it having to just lurk behind the sofa. At the same time, I wanted an extra footrest. So I decided to find a way to make the cushion convertible in some way.

For a while I toyed with having it fold up like a monopoly board. But I couldn't come up with a way to construct and secure the cover without bulky zips everywhere.

So then I considered just making four separate cushions that could be secured together in different configurations. For a while my best idea was to have something like a belt or strap, which could either go around the circumference of the 2x2 floor layout, or around the stack. But I didn't like the idea of having to deal with that band as a loose separate item.

@cassolotl had the genius idea to use loops to chain up the sides to keep the cushions together in a stack. I was doubtful at first because it didn't solve the problem of attaching them together in the floor layout. But then I figured out that adding buttons in the right place relative to the loops would make it possible to secure all three configurations. Which I'll demonstrate at the end of the post!

So the first step was cutting the big cushion down into four equal pieces. Well, the first-first step was trimming it down to clean up the section that was destroyed by my rabbit, who liked to burrow against the cushion and somehow managed to shred the foam *through* the cover.

I cut the foam with a hand saw, which was quite easy and satisfying.

Then making the cushion covers. I made strips of straight-cut binding and tucked loops into the corners while I sewed together the side pieces of the cover.

I decided to add piping to the top for aesthetics and structure. I've never done piping before but it wasn't too bad to get the hang of.

Because I dislike both zips and buttons (not specifically sewing with them, but just generally coming into contact with them in life) I decided not to bother making any closure on the underside of the cushions. Instead I just made the bottom piece of the cover in two triangles with a diagonal opening across the middle. A bit of strategic reinforcement stitching at the corners got the balance between making it possible to insert the cushions without the flaps flapping around too much.

Now for the details of the loop/button system. Each loop is positioned halfway up the height of the cover, at the corner. Each cover has two loops, at diagonally opposite corners. The loops extend 10cm, which is the exact thickness of the cushion foam.

Exactly 10cm to the right of each loop, I sewed on a big wooden button, also halfway up the height of the cushion.

For separate cushions mode, each loop is simply wrapped over its own neighbouring button to keep it from waving around or catching on things.

For big floor cushion mode, the cushions are butted together with their loop-corners touching each other around the perimeter of the square.

At each connection point, the loops from *both* cushions are wrapped around the button exposed on the perimeter. This holds all of the cushions together around the outside, and friction keeps them from slipping around in the middle.

For footrest mode, the loops are chained up through each other - the bottom cushion's loop is wrapped around the second cushion's loop, which wraps around the third cushion's loop, which wraps around the top loop.

Then, the top loop wraps around its own button to secure the chain.