I'm patient. I can wait.

holyfducjk

HISTORY

holy shit!

can someone explain this to me

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

how can a video game possibly be that bad

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

It’s worth noting that this game was a symptom, not a cause. Like, one game didn’t crash the market. This was just the snowflake that tipped the avalanche. But it became famous because it is VERY funny.

professors be like "I'm swamped with grading right now" my brother in christ you made the assignments

you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie. 

this has forty notes. that’s forty more notes than expected.

THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes

i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run.

^ Look at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all.

funniest thing would be if when Queen Elizabeth dies or steps down and Charles is all ready to assume the throne, here comes King Arthur, Excalibur in hand, sauntering back from Avalon like “oof what a nap! thanks for keeping the chair warm I’m back to be king again”

like, given that “King Arthur isn’t actually dead, he’ll be back to be King again someday” is, like, an actual aspect of the legend and a thing that a lot of people purport to believe, has anyone ever actually tried it? showing up to buckingham palace claiming to be Arthur Pendragon, The Once And Future King, and assume the throne? does the british government have a protocol for checking whether someone claiming to be King Arthur actually is? does parliament have a secret picture of the Real Excalibur kept under lock and key, only viewed if someone claims to be King Arthur, that they can use to confirm or refute the identity of alleged Kings Arthur? if not, how do they deter every jackass with a sward from pretending to be him? does filing a false King Arthur report constitute treason?

This has actually already happened.

doomsday preppers always keeping rusty tins of food in their basement but never building springhouses and smokehouses and paddocks for future livestock 🤨 those canned peaches are only going to bring you so far babe

are you going to study medicinal herbs and their cultivation or are you just going to keep stockpiling weapons like a little bitch 😩

going to shoot your way out of an infected cut, dumbass?

your characters literally don’t need a reason to be lgbt. no lgbt person in real life has a reason for being lgbt. we just are. if somebody says your character has to have a ‘reason’ to be diverse, they’re full of shit. diversity isn’t an aberration from the norm. it’s an accurate reflection of reality.

If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo

Superman is doing drugs in the UK -not clickbait- -gone wrong-

petition to make tumblr users google “what countries use the euro” before commenting on a post

this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up

In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.

It’s called “Translation Convention” but “Tolkien Brainrot” is funnier.

Maybe if instead of the vague cutesy term "brain fog" we use the more directly accurate term "neurological damage", that will help ppl stop seeing that as a "minor" outcome of covid

people who are already suffering from brain fog wouldnt really describe it as a vague cutesy term 😭😭 shits ruining my life

Being attracted to men in button up shirts with the sleeves rolled up is so weird cause like all you're seeing is their forearms but like,,, its so hot?? It's like I'm in olden times getting a glimpse of someone's ankles or something

“My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.” - Richard Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (1981)

Never forget that part of the reason this system was never implemented was that when he presented it to his colleagues, their response was IIRC “George, that’s terrible! If he has to take an innocent life, he may never press the button.”

i love when i plug the charger into the wall and see a little spark but i survive. we live so close to dying every day. and in this terror our hearts only delight

not enough people reblogged this last year we gotta really try this time to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™