falling in love with her art all over again...
Starfall by Anastasia Trusova, Acrylic on canvas
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@thatfunkyopossum
falling in love with her art all over again...
Starfall by Anastasia Trusova, Acrylic on canvas
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well yes
I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.
we have got to get americans healthcare
Imo the best type of system for children to grow up in would be one that assumes the birth parents/primary guardians won't do shit and takes care of every aspect of childcare that's essential for their wellbeing and development, collectively.
But I'm just a guy who only learned how to brush his teeth properly and got glasses as a child because we had both a dentist and a doctor come to school on a regular basis. The dentist would have us all stand in a circle with our little toothbrushes and show us how to brush and correct our technique. The doctors would give us general health assessments and then have the teachers contact our patents and essentially peer pressure them into getting us any health intervention we needed. My parents only reluctantly got me glasses because they knew the teachers would judge them if they kept seeing me sit in the very front row and still squint to see the chalkboard. So I'm biased.
The only times I ever remember seeing a dentist or doctor as a child was at school. I'm quite healthy physically and I'm very grateful for all the care I got from the various professionals who cared about my well-being and development more than my actual parents did.
We had free healthcare including dental, mind you, my parents just couldn't be bothered. When my brother, as a teenager, asked our mother if she could take him to his orthodontist appointments (which he'd already arranged for on his own) she basically told him she didn't feel like it and he had to take the bus.
If I could improve anything about that system, I'd take it even further and make it so kids could see a doctor and get meds, treatments, therapy, tests, disability aids etc. without having to rely on their parents as well. I shouldn't have had to put up with being bullied and guilt-tripped about the family finances and the time investment needed to take me to the optometrist every time I needed new glasses.
Some parents would not take care of their children even if they were given all the time and the resources. Mine are a great example of that — my mother stopped working and became a homemaker when I was in kindergarten, my father worked from the garage and was also always home. They had a car and our village even had a bus that would come once or twice an hour that would take you to the next two bigger cities.
Did that, plus the free healthcare, translate into them actually parenting and caring for us properly? It did not. They only ever did any of that reluctantly when not doing it would make them look bad, and most of the time they did a shitty job because they could never resist the urge to boost their egos by means of bullying literal children.
So I have to wonder: what did they actually contribute to our upbringing? Like they didn't teach us shit and mostly they just endangered our mental and physical health — but hey, at least they gave me cPTSD! That took some work too.
see also family abolition, and youth liberation .
A knee-jerk response to neglectful parenting I see a lot is “people should have to get licenses and take rigorous tests to PROVE that they should be ALLOWED to have kids” which is eugenics. That’s just the starting line for eugenics.
We are at a point in humanity where there is no meaningful reason why we shouldn’t be structuring our societies around wellbeing for all instead of wellbeing for the “deserving”.
Assume some parents will fail. Build social infrastructure that is designed to support failed kids rather than punish would-be parents.
Parents do not have to be neglectful to fail!
They can be busy, tired, stressed about finances, ignorant, etc. They can want to do the best for their kid and Fail Anyways.
The best thing is to support the children and give them the tools they need to succeed even if the parents are already giving them those tools. Because you can never learn something too much.
Also sometimes parents become disabled or die and family can't always be counted on, and sometimes there isn't other family
i feel like something that's missing from some people's understanding of kink fiction and fantasy is, like... in fiction and fantasy, everything is in-scene.
when real people do kink in real life, you gotta do all that good out-of-scene stuff like discuss boundaries, set limits and expectations, check in with each other, do aftercare, et cetera et cetera et cetera... but in fiction, everything can be in-scene!
the people in that fanfic don't exist any more than, like, the make-believe sexy football star and make-believe sexy cheerleader in a couple's roleplay exist. that couple doesn't need to get into character and then pretend to be a sexy football star having an important consent conversation with a sexy cheerleader, because that's a conversation that's already happened out-of-scene and out-of-character. (i mean, if you're into in-character negotiations, chase your bliss.) when they're in that scene, they can just pretend to be a sexy football star having sex with a sexy cheerleader. that's okay.
so like. when fiction does kink in a way that would be unsafe or harmful irl... just keep in mind that you're not watching actual people neglecting check-ins or ignoring their set contract or genuinely harming each other. you're watching a scene without the behind-the-scenes bits, and that's okay.
this has gotten a couple replies along the lines of "yeah, you can just assume the characters worked all the important consent stuff out when you weren't looking!" which is true in some cases, but not the point i was trying to make, so please bear with me while i try to rephrase myself.
when i say in fiction, everything is in-scene, i mean that the fiction IS the scene.
if someone went up to their partner and said "hey, wouldn't it be sexy if we pretended you were manipulating and controlling me in an unethical way for sex reasons?", and then they talked through all the good and necessary consent and risk-awareness things, and then they played that scene out - that's a made-up scenario where pretend bad things happen, but no real-world people come to real-world harm, right?
now, if someone writes a story where one character manipulates and controls another in an unethical way for sex reasons... that, too, is a made-up scenario where pretend bad things happen, but no real-world people come to real-world harm.
kink fiction doesn't have to be about characters consciously and conscientiously Doing Kink. kink fiction can be stories where the kinky things people fantasize about or roleplay (but wouldn't want to happen in real life) do happen in the universe of that story. because the story is a scene.
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I got curious and looked into the ‘you can only have sex one day of the year’ movie more and holy shit
for those not as invested in this shit as I am, the movie ends with the protagonists not having sex and deciding people who like having sex are shallow and weird. Yknow. Agreeing with the facist government banning them from having sex.
If you think about it for more than a second, yes it is.
paving the way for enthusiastic folks building faraday cages to fuck in, because always use protection, including from 5G
shirley jackson casually asking the pharmacist how much arsenic would be necessary to kill a family
from on fans and fanmail, a lecture by shirley jackson
this is like that time virginia woolf was at the pharmacist with her sister vanessa and were casually (and loudly) talking about lesbian sex
You know, I've read before on this very webbed site that Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights is a man of color and that its important to the story but I don't think I could have possibly understood until I actually started reading/listening to the book how utterly impossible it is to consume this story without understanding that Heathcliffe is a man of color and how important it is to the story.
Now, disclaimer I'm very early into it, but Y'all so far as I'm seeing so far this really is deadass just a story about racism whole cloth. Heathcliff is a brown man who was adopted as a very young child into an affluent white family and spends his entire youth getting the hell beat out of him for it. When his arrival in the home is described he is exclusively referred to as "it" and isn't speaking English. When the housekeeper is comforting him as he's talking about how he wishes he had blonde hair and blue eyes and fair skin and that he had a chance to be rich, she tells him that for all he knows his father was a prince of India and his mother was a princess in China and he was stolen away across the sea to England.
The man being a person of color is being brought up constantly.
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”
everybody say thank you black trans women
we don't have to do anything you should be thanking us for not choosing violence every day
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kind of harmonically beautiful
Primadonna worm all i ever wanted was to squirm
Take this however you will
i know this has been said before but the progressive language around gender that i've experienced in my lifetime has undergone such a radical shift. Because my grandmother is a lesbian I'm like older than my years in gay years but when I was little it was like 'gender is a system of social categorisation that says NOTHING about you on the inside.' It's pronouns and other people's expectations but it doesn't mean anything about feelings. It doesn't need to determine how you dress or talk or your interests or hobbies or where you want to work or what you can do or who you can relate to or be friends with or connect with and those things are personal and should be shaped by your values and how you're feeling right then.
and now i walk into theoretically progressive spaces and it's like well you can pick your gender but it means everything about you so select the right one and stick to all of its rules. now do you like she/her and girl math and not walking alone at night and expecting someone else to take care of you? you can pick nonbinary but then you gotta be flat chested and use power tools. and if you pick he/him get ready to get more strict about gender roles than a boomer grandpa, you have to take the garbage out. hey you picked the pronoun, you gotta live with all the strictures, those are the rules for some reason. some really wild spaces accept the concept of genderfluid, which now means going into each of those modes depending on task. 'im in man mode time to mow the lawn.'
this is helpful to getting started on anything regardless of what you call it (from this post)
problem solving steps
IMPROVE distress tolerance skill
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I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”
The zipper merge requires a level of cooperation and goodwill that the citizens of this great country have never once displayed
