amazing contribution by @misophoria
happy pride 🌈
Claire Keane

JVL

★
NASA
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
dirt enthusiast
styofa doing anything
KIROKAZE
todays bird

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

@theartofmadeline
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
cherry valley forever

tannertan36

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@melongifts
amazing contribution by @misophoria
happy pride 🌈

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Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.
Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!
My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".
The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...
My card: Declines
got my ass beat by starlings with their lil pink ankle monitors today
(complaining about something inconsequential) having everyone in your 'screenshots of texts between characters' have cute names for everyone destroys the flavor. Too much salt ruins the pot. Whatever happened to "Darren Landlord" or "Guy at Bar", who actually names people anything clever in their contact list.......... its gotta be saved for special occasions.......
go my memes

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you cant call for help in the cage... the birds will hear you....
favorite word?
diabolical

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Sup...
I know you were just posting that stuff about birds for fun, but I honestly wanted to say thank you. I saw your posts on my dash and was like "huh, must be interesting to help cute birds all day!" Then wouldn't you know it I ended up having a saga with this injured stellar's jay fledgling that can't get a break from the horrors. (Tweaked leg, won't grab with talons. Other leg is fine.) I might talk about this jay's story in another ask if wanted. I know it's bad practice to just take in wild animals but this poor bird wasn't going to make it if I kept putting it outside (been dealing with this jay for four days). At this point, this bird should've been flying by now but it kinda just kinda won't? It's leg is def injured but I didn't see anything wrong with its wings. I'm gonna try and see if I can get this bird to a sanctuary or something cause I am not a professional. As cute as this bird is, I'd prefer not to keep it. Been trying to feed it every hour and change it's bedding.
Tried my best to look for info but I can't find much of anything. It's pretty chill and doesn't seem to mind sitting in a makeshift nest. It eats anything I offer it, been feeding it wet cat food (heard that this was the best method to feed young birds in a pinch?) and carefully giving it a little bit of water from a tiny pipette (it sometimes just holds the food in its mouth and won't gulp.) Gonna try and get it mealworms or some kind of container of edible insect soon. Do you have any tips or anything bad with my current method? Like I said, I do want to get this bird to a rescue or whatever they call it. I just don't want it to starve to death in the meantime. P.S the hand motions gif is so helpful, I found that using two fingers and kinda bobbing it around the bird works well. At least for stellar's jays.
So definitely get it to a bird sanctuary because taking care of fledgelings means you have to feed them every 15 minutes to an hour depending on age. Keep the bird warm especially if theyre not flying age, using a heating pad if you have to. It should be warm to the touch. Birds can self drink as long as they arent wiwis, so a shallow jar lid of water thatd be fine. It doesnt need to be held in anything bigger than a shoebox, and its best if it cant see you.
Jays are also corvids, which means they imprint on humans easier than other birds, and a wildlife rehab is better equipped to avoid socializing them. The food we give them is vitamin loaded mealworms and crickets, but we give new admits a sort of bird gatorade to help rehydrate.
Dehydrated birds wont eat, and cold birds wont drink.
Stellars jays are my fav songbird, so i hope youre able to find him help- and its a weekend so you can most definitely find somewhere open.
Guys........................................???????????????
Ahh what the hell, gimme another unnamed layer! I ain't driving!
Sometimes you have a stupid thought, like "why does this language have different words for both falcon and hawk, they're like roughly the same animal" and then you realize you're fucking stupid
When you apply for an internship as a bit and now have opinions on which songbird fledglings are easiest to feed
by "as a bit" i actually mean that i have absolutely no meaningful experience in animal husbandry or anything remotely related and applied for the internship in a feverish job search after months of no bites for various ecommerce management positions. and now am interning at the [REDACTED] facility. Which I did not expect to even get an interview for. Other interns have asked me what my major is and i'm like bruh i am just Some Guy.

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time to break this out again
today's bird report:
-I got to hold a bird! They're shockingly warm. -We got 3 American Robins from 3 different people and they all were dripping mites -One came in a box the size of a CRT TV and another in a sleepytime tea box. McMansion vs NYC apartment.... -The bird i held was one of the bugged ones -First Eastern Bluebird!!! they have a bubblegum pink mouth -bastard starling escaped thrice