of the Oscar Wilde type

when tumblr dies i'll live under your bed and you can say out loud what you would post and i will say LIKE or REBLOG it'll be just like we're still here

I just want to get dicked down again =/

so. bad news. we have to keep going tomorrow. good news is that I’ll keep going with you

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

how the hell do people work full time AND work out. and also eat. i feel like a dvd player

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

i just don’t know if that many of us need to be on the roads driving. we should live in a world where more people can sit that one out

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

people are always slandering historians for saying reasonable things like "some things that seem romantic to us were platonic in the context of the times", when there's so many evil historians you actually have to look out for. number 1 : the closet royalist

I’m just an easy mark for dumb pilot humor. Today the captain was like “we’re now at altitude, feel free to move around, my one rule is you must stay inside the plane” and I lost it. It’s funny because you would die a horrible death akin to standing unencumbered on Pluto

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

lets all be civil and gather around the orifice today

come on gang, let's go hit the orifice

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold