This continues to be the single greatest piece of staged dialogue ever created

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

i like how the ^_^ emoticon doesn't even have an upturned mouth. goes to show a smile is all in the eyes

the worst writing crime you can ever commit in my opinion is watering down the dirty talk because you’re self-conscious that it sounds like it’s from a bad porno…..i cannot stress this enough……leave it alone. the moment you tell yourself he would not fucking say that you’re doomed. people will say almost anything if their dick is hard enough

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

... much like something else i know of

This is killing me